THUNDERBALL vs. THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO!

It was so popular the last time we did it, I've decided to have another special James Bond Grudge Match, so tonight's Saturday the 14th event is "Thunderball" vs. "Thunderbirds Are Go," or Thunder in the Jungle!! So let's get the ball and the bird rollin'....10 rounds, and no holds barred!

We'll lead off with "Thunderball" since it came out in 1965! The opening credits are spectacular no doubt!

But you've gotta admit, the credits for "Thunderbirds Are GO" which came out a year later in 1966, are much more brazen and bolder!

02 Handsome Leading Man

Even at his nerdiest, as in this rocketman getup, Sean Connery.....

....is going to be cooler than four or five puppets, now if it had been Muppets, that might have been a different story!

03 Hot Women

Although her voice is that of "Thunderbirds" co-creator Gerry Anderson's genius wife Sylvia, Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward just doesn't really do it for me! I don't know how to say this without being offensive, but she looks like a puppet!!

Martine Beswick as James Bond's assistant Paula, on the other hand does! Check out Martine's silhouette in the bottom picture, that's it, I am convinced the woman is perfect!

04 Hot Cars

Every way I turned, I read that Bond drove a Bentley Mark II Continental in "Thunderball," but after being corrected, I realized this was an Aston Martin DB5 as I first had thought! What a beautiful car!

This is the FAB1! It was based on the Chinese-six car, four in front and two in back, and was also known as the Bassackwards! They constructed a real-life copy to transport Gerry and Sylvia Anderson to the London premiere of "Thunderbirds Are GO," and the car broke down before they got there! Gerry and Sylvia were forced to take a taxi to the premiere, and I think that's funnier than Hell! As you can see, the FAB1 was also an amphibious vehicle!

05 Meeting of the Minds

This is a tough one, but I'm going with the extra big cut-out giant desk with the matching centerpiece in "Thunderbirds Are GO!" Pretty scary, but unless I miss my guess, that puts "Thunderbrids Are Go" ahead 3 rounds to 2!

06 Bathing Beauties

This isn't even worth discussing! Score is tied!!

07 Tantalizing Titillation!

"Thunderbirds" bounce back with fake little zine titled "Riviera," and the article "girls, girls, Girls," and the back cover is "TANS!"

08 Coolest Sunglasses

A strong choice by both contenders, I declare this round a draw!

09 Night Life!

Anything on a tropical island is amazing, but how can you compete with a restaurant called the "Swinging Star" that features outdoor dining on something akin to one of the rings of Saturn!

10 Explosions!

How is it possible that a fake explosion could be even better than a real fake explosion? Damned if I know!

So a puppet movie manages to beat out a classic James Bond adventure in a grueling ten round match? It was a split decision but that's the way the three judges, Jeff Tracy, Scott Tracy, and Virgil Tracy saw it!!! I think the real clincher was the music!!!

Cliff Richards and The Shadows puppets perform "Shooting Star"

And here's just a taste of the theme from "Thunderball" written by one of the masters, John Barry, and sung by the iconic aTomic Jones!

THE GHOST WALKS / Invincible Pictures Corp. - 1934

Happy Friday the 13th everbloody!! It's Friday Frights with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon! Our 69 minute feature goes like this... On a stormy night, a theatrical producer, his secretary, and a playwright are stranded when their car skids off the road and gets stuck. They take refuge in the nearby home of Dr. Kent, a friend of the playwright. One of Kent's patients who's staying at the house is acting strangely because it's the anniversary of her husband's murder. And, when the lights go out, the first in a series of mysterious and fearful events begin! ...Boo-Wah!!

Eegah!! sent this soundclip over, soooo, as to not be rude, you can push the big red 'GO' button , NOW, Rufus The Gnat! Here's some cartoonie corn from... THE GHOST WALKS!

Johnny Arthur plays the producer's secretary, Homer Erskine, a face every baby-boomer knows well from the LITTLE RASCALS series which played on TV almost every day during the fifties.

Like I said, their car gets stuck in the mud, so, they have to walk to the doc's house in the storm.

The lady who's acting strangely on the anniversary of her husband's murder comes down to hang out with the others, then, they all start accusing each other of the crime!

When the lights go out, this ghost shows up to give everyone a good scare!

Wouldn't you know it, there's a painting with the eyes cut out so that the villain can keep an eye or two on the situation.

Don't forget the peep-holes!

There's even a bed that can smother you, like in 13 GHOSTS! Homer dives out just in the nick of time.

Homer's scared and has to sleep with the producer, who's reading aloud about some creepy theories from psychics through the ages.

I will always try to include the sexiest still I can find from any given movie... This is the best I could do for this one.

Then, this lady gets chloroformed! Man, this flick has everything!!

People are disappearing! The cops and the remaining guests discover a secret entrance behind the huge mantle!

In the meantime, the villain is revealed. He has a pretty cool mad lab in the basement, too!

The gang's closing in on their nemesis...

They better hurry though, because, the dude's having visions of grandeur!

The cops break in and shut the old fool up!

VAMPIRE CIRCUS - David Whitaker - "Not So Really Big" (1972)

I watched "Vampire Circus" over a year ago, and there hasn't been a day gone by that I thought I should be telling you about it! Oh, well, like everything else, I'm positive it's somebody's favourite film, and I will give the makers credit for one thing, Great Title!!! The only thing that sounds like more fun than a "Vampire Circus" would be a Zombie Circus!!

Really, do yourself a big favor and go out and buy or download the 1970 album by the incredible band called The Flock entitled "Dinosaur Swamps," and listen to their song called "Uranian Sircus" and your time will be much better spent!

The local denizens throw out the welcome mat! "Yay, the circus is in town!"

Man, this is some freakin' exciting shit, isn't it, and I don't even especially like pinche payasos!!

You probably don't want to watch the main act with your grand kids!

It's not every day you get to see a David Bowie wannabe and a bear's ass this close together!

The way the things have been going lately, if I was a chick I would look like this about 90% of the time, and especially when it came around to watching movies like this!

"Hey old dude, get out of my friggin' shot!"

If there had only been a little Volkswagen with about 13 little Count Chocula clowns in it, I might have had a different opinion!

Mostly the only real thing I can remember about watching "Vampire Circus" was that it didn't interest me at all, and I'm willing to make a wager that "At The Earth's Core" was more exciting! At one time I had about 30 films ready to go, soundclips and all, right now, I've got two, and this is one of them! David Whitaker, the composer of this music just passed away in January of this year, and was also the man responsible for the music in "Scream And Scream Again," "Dr Jekyll & Sister Hyde," and "Old Drac" among other things!

The vampires have literally sucked the life out of this movie!

I have a policy of never trusting any dude who wears some kind of dog collar around his neck, and that has got to be the world's worst widow's peak ever!

"Come here little girl!" Yuck!

I have no doubt I would just punch this sucker in the face, and if that didn't work....

.....This is how we dealt with vampires back in my time, put a neck lock or a damn chokehold on the bastard, cause I don't care if you're dead or not, you will go down again!

"La, La, La, La La La La!" You'd think a "Vampire Circus" would be a lot more fun! "Something Wicked This Way Comes" this ain't, and even though we always try and give credit where credit is due, this flick is a debit!