Friday, July 17, 2009

THE CASTLE OF FU MANCHU - Carlos Camilleri & Malcom Shelby - "Assignment Istanbul " (1969)

We got a special film for you tonight titled "The Castle Of Fu Manchu", a real favorite of our buddy Professor Grewbeard over at the "Magic Carpet Burn" blog! (If for some unknown reason, you have never visited his blog, boy, are you missing out. The link is over yonder!)

Here's what I've got to say about Christopher Lee as Fu Manchu! The two letters that make up his first name are F U!! What more do you need to know? Isn't it just quite obvious why he is bent on world domination!!

Fu Manchu has the power to ruin your day, if he so decides, and he doesn't even have to be there, he can do it via long distance!! The music for this film was composed by virtual unknowns Carlos Camilleri and Malcomb Shelby! It was Malcom's solo outing and Carlos wrote for one other film two years earlier, " The House Of 1000 Dolls."

Just like in four other Fu Manchu movies, Tsai Chin as sidekick Lin Tang watches on approvingly! She is still active and working today!!

The Prof would agree that this is one of Jesus Franco's weakest directorial outings! The elements we need and expect just are not there!! Where's the cool club scene and music? This movie really does look like it was just done for a paycheck!! Four Fu Manchu movies would have been plenty!!

We do get treated to a bunch of weird shots, like this very impressive quadrature gauge!

Weird phallic gravestones and one that looks like the end of a tube of toothpaste, or maybe the back of the head of Johnny Roventini, the 1950's "Calling Phillip Morris" bellhop kid!

Would this be considered a ring or just a weird pinkie protector finger decoration??

Looks and smells like Jess Franco, but tastes like television!!!

This is a rare film in the fact that you don't really have to actually watch it, because this poster tells the whole story!!

Fu Manchu has his own in house Healthcare system set up for his employees!!! Next!!!!

The F U Man watches over each and every one of us, all of the time, making life easy, so we don't have to worry about it!!

Now that you all feel safe, go on out, and have yourself a mighty fine weekend!!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS / Coleman Francis - 1961 / Music by Kauer, Nafshun + Remington

Before MST3K version of 'dis horrible flick, Tabonga hate it! Was unwatchable! Now, love it!! Love Coleman Francis and Tony Cardoza!! They make worse flick than Eddie!

One guess why not fit for TV unedited in 1961!

Music dude Gene Kauer work on great stuff to include CAPE CANAVERAL MONSTERS, THE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN GEE WHIZ ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MOON (TV), DOOR-TO-DOOR MANIAC, MONSTROSITY, AGENT FOR H.A.R.M., SWAMP GIRL, FACES OF DEATH I, II + III and THE ONE ARMED EXECUTIONER! Irwin Nafshun work on same stuff as Kauer, Al Remington work on only two project, this and EXPLORING THE MOON!

Is Tabonga' pet tarantula turn to press giant 'GO' Button for tonight' soundclip Eegah!! bake up in cave east of here!! Okay, Ralphie, push away lil' dude!.. BEAST OF YUCKY CRAPS!

Hey, Conrad Brooks cameo!

Hey look, Tony Cardoza play tough guy commie with cool hat! Oh, and he drive nice white Plymouth Valiant!

Hey, it the coffee guy!!

WHEEEEEE!!! Car race is fun!!

SON OF A BIT...

Tor is BEAST now and choke gurl wif' purse too!! Then he take gurl to cave for hot time on old rock!

Whoa, wild looking Marcia Knight, great star of THE SKYDIVERS!!

Coleman very thrifty, use son Ronald and Alan and secret weapon, wife Linda.

Or not!!

Coleman steal from only the best!

Dad want to get good look at that one pebble.

Everbloody can figure this out by self!

aaaa!.. AAAAAA!!!

IDIOT 101.

SUC-KER!!


Ahhhhh, that so cute!.. G'night sweet Tor!

Monday, July 13, 2009

THE DEMON - Nick Labuschagne - "Profane Nocturnal Fiend" (1979)

What a piece of work, but what a prefect movie to lead off this Monday The 13th week, because this jewel is an unholy midnight calling, that is probably not worth your time, unless you are finally really tired of watching those "Gunsmoke" re-runs for the umpteethmillion time, or have been having trouble sleeping lately!!

The music was composed by Nick Labuschagne in his first of only two composing gigs, the other being the 1983 Gary Lockwood classic, "Survival Zone!" Pointless insignificant music from Lipps Inc. and The Sugarhill Gang are thrown into the background to pad out the 1979 experience!!

There are some tremendously okay scenes of driving around at night!!

Cameron Mitchell shows up in a vague unsuccessful attempt to conjure up some validity, but to no avail!!

Right about here is the time for one big collective WTF??

My word, that outfit was loud!! Can you people hold it down, I'm trying to sleep in here!!!

Now you gotta admit, this is a pretty cool composition!! Sometimes that's it, sometimes that all you can squeeze out of a film, one good shot!!!

That "Misfit Of Science" girl, Jennifer Holmes as What's-her-face, gets the added indignity bonus of having to run around in only her chonies to escape the madman, in this, her very first film outing!!

How rude to follow a lady into the bathroom! If you were wondering what kind of fashion statement Jennifer was trying to make, it's the shower curtain she tore down in an attempt to cover herself up!!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

THE WEREWOLF OF WASHINGTON / Diplomatic Pictures - 1973 / Music by Arnold Freed

Welcome everbloody to Dungeon Saturday Afternoon Flick! This afternoon we gots a wild and weird twisted horror-comedy starring Dean Stockwell from 1973! Dean start his excellent career in 1945 with THE VALLEY OF DECISION and ANCHORS AWEIGH and in 1968 play Dave in PSYCHE-OUT. Also has great lil' guy Michael Dunn as DR. KISS!..

Flick is actually statement about Richard Nixon Whitehouse!!

Whoa, music dude Arnold Freed only have one music credit in movieland!!! And, guess what?! Not this flick!!!

Tabonga totally full of it!

So, here is today fun soundclip from Eegah!! Okay, start the show, now!.. POLITICAL MONSTER!

Dean and gurlfiend on vacation in Hungary and have harrowing car wreck at night in hills and locals actin' all weird... Katalin Kallay play gurlfiend, she is President's daughter!!.. Then, Dean get bit by some crazy thing in the night!

They go home but Dean know he in trouble when 'pentagon' (ha ha) symbol appear on palm of hand.

Yakkity yakkity yakkk and a half!

Clifton James is dead ringer for real politico dude!

Dean start turning into wolfman so try and run away from Katalin so he don't bite her! Dean is good werewolf at heart!!

Dean is press assistant to the President and being werewolf getting in the way!

Funny part is when full Moon and Dean crawl and jump around on everything acting like big stupid doggie in his apartment!

Best part, though, when Dean knock over and trap gurl in phone booth! She make it because some dude come and chase Dean away with gun.

Dean try and bowl with President but thumb get stuck in hole when he start turning into wolf again!

Dean stumble into Dr. Kiss' mad lab by accident and doctor befriend him! Check out those Frankenstein shoes!!

Use a whole pail of chain to tie up wolfman to keep from escaping!

This time, Dean change into werewolf on flight with President!

Only one way to end flick, Katalin have to shoot and kill Dean wif' silver bullet... What else?!

Great shot as Dean wave goodbye to Earth!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??