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Monday, December 28, 2009

CURSE OF THE CRIMSON ALTAR - Peter Knight - "The Crimson Cult Party" (1968)

Well, I guess that's it for me this year, and I don't know about you, but for me, it's just about the same as it started, Weirdsville!!! I hope you had a good time. I've been holding on to tonight's feature for about two years for some reason. It's a hard movie to track down, but worth the freakin' effort, and this time I mean freak for real!

The "Curse of the Crimson Altar Cult" immediately sets the scene with this remarkable cast of characters, like A Man and His Goat, but at least it's a Toggenburg and not a Nubian!!

Nita Lorraine as A topless gal with a whip and........

A Holy Man of dubious virtue!!!

I'm laying down odds, Chicken Gal is going to meet up later with Goat Man after the show!!

Where did they have to dig this conehead up from??

Oh Boy, Nicholas Head (in his second and last role) as a blacksmith of questionable masculinity in a leather loincloth with antlers......

And Barbara Steele decked out like a dead bride of the devil, and we're only like 3 minutes into this movie!!! I haven't said it in a long time, but, Like Wow!!!

Here's the action at the end of the festivities! Denys Peek as Peter Manning takes the final oath!!

Mark Eden as Robert Manning is the guy who has come to find out what happened to his brother!! Mark Eden has done it all, from Quatermass thru The Avengers and Dr. Who, and walks through this film with a casual spirit usually reserved for the likes of somebody like Anthony Eisley!

There's quite the party going on at the Morley pad, the last place that Peter Manning was seen or ever saw!!

Like new and improved ways of drinking champagne!!

What a gig! How much do you get paid for a role like this? Kevin Smith as The Drunk worked about once every 10 years, but he took the 80's off for rest and recuperation!!

Man, this party is a real gasser, and the incredible thing is, it has nothing to do with the movie hardly at all!!! The wild music is provided by respected English composer Peter Knight!!!

Finally, it's time to get to the guts of this movie, and what a fine array of talent it is! First off is Christopher Lee as Morley, sometimes he's a good guy, but mostly, he's not!!

And the genius of Michael Gough as the nimrod Elder!!

And then, bigger than shit, out pops Dungeon God, Boris Karloff, just like Robert Manning predicted, in what was in reality, his last role!!!

In this village, it's the season for the annual celebration of the burning of the witch Lavinia (Barbara Steele)!!

Huge kudos to the developers of Photoshop, whose artistry made these fotos look at least 500% better for your viewing pleasure!!

Maybe part of the reason this film fell out of circulation was for it's opening reference to psychedelic drug use, and I quote, "........and drugs of this group can produce the most complex hallucinations, and under their influence, it is possible by hypnosis to induce the subject to perform actions he would not normally commit!" You know, stuff like signing your name in blood, and selling your soul to some cat named "Ba‘al Zəbûb!" Right On, Brother!!!

The Howdy Do-It Peanut Gallery for each and every acid induced sacrificial dream, sits in stoic rapture. What could these people possibly be thinking about??? It's no coincidence that the blogger id for this photo ends with 666!!!

Really cool shot of the secret passage to the sacrifice room, replete with tons of fake spiderwebs! No, really, as part of the plot!!

Robert Manning tries his damndest to explain to the local authority, Roger Avon as Sergeant Tyson, what all his suspicions are! Robert Avon made a career out of playing constables, clerks, and receptionists, and can't do anything under the circumstances without a search warrant!!

Just a nice classic picture of the mild-mannered genius, Boris Karloff!!

Well, it all gets pretty twisted toward the end, with deep seated family hatred and sole surviving members sought out for execution, all in the name of the witch, Lavinia! You know, Babara Steele has long been known for having that kind of effect on people!!

Dinner's Ready!!!

The smell of bar-b-qued Morley fills the air! Boris and Mark Eden are joined by Virginia Wetherell as Eve, and Michael Warren as The Chauffeur, for the final viewing!

Christopher Lee should have better sense by now than to be sucked into yet another infernal, eternal damnation! Good thing for him, they're just movies!! See you next year!

Monday, December 7, 2009

OPERAZIONE GOLDMAN - Riz Ortolani - "Lightning Bolt" (1966)

Just in case you never wondered, that "Beyond" up there on the top of the page, includes Psychedelic Spy Surfer Biker Slasher Beatnik Hipster Hot-Rod Hippies, or any other depraved Monsters of Society, and brings us right up to tonight's super feature, "Lightning Bolt", a Spy caper worth checking out for at least 5 reasons!!

# 01 reason: Introducing Lieutenant Harry Sennet played by Dungeon Hero Anthony Eisley!

# 02 reason is Diana Lorys as Captain Patricia Flanagan, or as she also known, Agent 36-22-36!

Posing as a wealthy playboy, Harry's super special secret weapon is that he has an unlimited bank account, and can try and buy his way in, or out, of any given situation! # 03 reason: You can download this movie for free at the Internet Archive!(Sorry folks, I guess it's not there anymore, but there's a ton of other cool stuff!!!)

# 04: Harry is pretty laid back and cool most of the time, but he also does a boss job of kicking ass when he needs to!

# 05: The German title of this film is "Gemini 13 - Todesstrahlen auf Kap Canaveral" and you know if it's got 13 in the title, it's a weiner!!

And if that's not enough, how about this beer truck with a big spinning mug, decked out with state of the art video monitoring equipment?

Harry conks this one dude over the head with a beer bottle!!

And while he's figuring out the next step in his plan, we get the treat of this brilliant mug shot!!!

So a whole bunch of stuff happened and Harry ends up in this underwater compound, where he meets Dr. Rooney, the local laser beam specialist!

Dr. Rooney has to work for the Evil Boss and do what he says, or they'll freeze him like all these other scientists, and use his brain later like some kind of analytical frozen TV dinner!

Enter prominet Italian actor Folco Lulli as the dastardly evil, nefarious and mysterious REHTE!!! Right! The same name that's on the beer trucks, because not only is REHTE going to take over the whole world, but he's also a brewmaster to be reckoned with!! Folco has a long history of Sword & Sandal flicks under his rather sizable belt, and here, enjoys a good whiskey!!

REHTE has big plans for taking over the world, but he needs to be in charge of the Moon first, and scoffs at Harry's offer of a check for 10 million dollars!

REHTE's underwater facility lies directly underneath Cape Kennedy, which allows him to wreak all kinds of havoc on the space program!!

They were going to freeze Harry too, but he manages to escape, and fights off a whole bunch of REHTE's guards and proceeds to start messing up the man's place, along with Dr. Rooney, who replaces some fuses or something, that throws everything off kilter! Lava starts flowing in and stuff is exploding, and REHTE decides he better start bailing too!

It's a pretty horrific scene as circuits blow, and all the frozen folks start melting!!

Harry and RETHE have a terrific battle culminating in a big molten splash, as Harry delivers the line to remember, "I didn't like your beer either!" Yeah, we spit on your grave RETHE, that's what you get for having such a stupid name!!

The whole place gets blown to Hell, and the whole thing is done to the music of a guy we've been talking about quite a bit around here lately, Riz Ortolani! Riz does a great job on this film from cool lounge to awesome suspense, the music keeps it moving!

Harry and Dr. Rooney make it back to the surface okay, and Harry gets his checkbook taken away again!!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??