METALOCALYPSE: DETHKLOK / "The Curse Of Dethklok" - 2006

In this first episode, Dethklok is the most famous band in the world, they are multi-billionaires, and have a cult following like no other. From left to right are the band members William Murderface on bass, Skwisgaar Skwigelf on guitar, Nathan Explosion on vocals, Pickles on drums and Toki Wartooth on guitar...

So, Dethklok is performing in Norway to play one song, the Duncan Hills Coffee jingle! Droves of fans file up the mountainous terrain to catch the show.

And, they all have to sign waivers in case there's a 'problem' with the performance!

Everyone's in place when a gigantic helicopter swoops in and drops a huge spiked metal cube to the ground. There's a designated spot it's supposed to land at, but...

It misses the target by a few hundred feet, taking out a bunch of loyal fans!

The cube opens up, revealing Dethklok!

They start in with their Duncan Hills Coffee jingle! Nathan says that they aren't selling out... They're making coffee METAL!!

Dethklok's minions start pouring hot, and I do mean HOT, coffee down on the spectators.

Fans scream in agony as their skin is melted away! James Hetfield and Kirk Hammett from Metallica provide some of the screams of damaged fans. Also, Mark Hamill provides the voice over for Senator Stampingston for the complete series.

There are fireworks celebrating the event, but when two rockets glance off each other...

One makes a direct hit through the helicopter window, hitting their beloved cook.

Which causes him to go through the ceiling and right into the copter blades!

And Dethklok gets bathed in the cook's blood.

Unable to cook, his body parts are kept on life support in the next room, so that they can keep an eye on him. Cost, $10,000 a day!

The boys take their jumbo jet to the food library... Err... Supermarket, to pick up some items they can make at home, because, you know, the cook. Oh and, No Booze! It's not a food group! They get a ton of booze anyway.

Un-civilized is the word used to describe the members of Dethklok, they don't get out much. Murderface is probably the worst offender. He has to take a leak, so...

Skwisgaar loves to mess with Toki, here, he puts some tampons in his basket. You can see he grabbed some cereal with his picture on the box.

When Pickles is told that you drop a live lobster into hot water to cook it, he responds with.. That is the most BRUTAL thing he's ever heard of.

They fly back home to their castle and heat up the water to cook their meal. Then Toki remembers, they left all the groceries back at the market!!

Murderface prods the cook's head and tells him.. Come on, cook for us.. Don't be a dick! Watch this episode to see how it ends, later!

TIME ON MY HANDS - "Betty Boop, You Bad Girl" (1932)

 

This week's Saturday Night Special is probably one of the most interesting and provocative of all of Betty Boop's cartoons. "Time On My Hands" was another cartoon made by The Fleischer Brothers in 1932, and has me completely convinced that early cartoons were made for adults, and not children.

 

"Time On My Hands" is a krazy cartoon that opens with this fisherman doing his fisherman thing! Take note that this fisherman is fishing in what appears to be a lake, not the ocean.

The fisherman's bait is not happy!

Looks so enticing, it's making me hungry!

The worm attracts all the hot babe fish in town, who are dressed for some reason.

There is also a mermaid at the bottom of this lake that is portrayed by Betty Boop!

In a rather risque move, for the role of the mermaid, they decided to have Betty be topless, even though the fishes have dresses on. I guess it makes about as much sense as having a water pump underwater.

Despite being topless, it's been pretty tame so far, then Betty The Mermaid amps up the sexy factor a bit!

Then this diver shows up and thinks Betty is pretty hot!

The fisherman finally gets a bite, but he's caught a lot more than he bargained for, and slings Betty all across the landscape!

Somehow by some miracle, Betty ends up on this giant clock face, on a clock tower somewhere!

What a time she is having!

Now, if none of that was weird enough for you, at this point, through the miracle of Hollywood, Betty The Mermaid turns into the full blown Ethel Merman, and she sings "Time On My Hands," that had music written by Vincent Youmans, the man who wrote "Tea For Two," a song that has been used in movies up until last year. The lyrics were written by Harold Adamson and Mack Gordon who between the two of them have a uncanny amount of credits for lyrics in the movies and TV at 853.

I guess no one wanted to see Ethel Merman topless even when she was fairly young!

After the song is over, Betty is returned to the water and is attacked by this huge octopus.

Fleeing the octopus, Betty and her new boyfriend are then eaten by a giant fish that turns into this giant flying fish. If you look close, you can see them peering out the window in the side of the fish.

Within two years, the Hays Code would be initiated for films and would be in effect until 1968, and it would be a long time before viewers would have a chance to see anything this offensive again.

According to IMDB, there's going to be a new feature called "Betty Boop, The Movie" coming out some day, but there is basically zero information besides this picture!

POPEYE THE SAILOR / "Olive's Sweepstake Ticket" - 1941

Here's crazy little cartoon for a Friday... There's plenty of hilarity to be had, and it all starts, when...

Olive gets a call from the theatre to let her know that she has a winning sweepstake ticket, so, come on down and pick up your prize!

But of course, Olive has absolutely no clue as to what she did with it, and, she can't find the darn thing!

Popeye lets himself in and does that silly walk as he enters. I put this one in because that's how Conor McGregor sometimes struts around the the cage in the UFC!

Popeye walks in on Olive digging through a trunk. I swear, there are bras flying everywhere!

After Popeye hears that she's looking for a winning sweepstake ticket, he starts imagining that him and Olive will live their life as high society socialites (with $$$ to burn)!

Many more bras (and undies) go flying while Olive tells Popeye to start looking for the ticket too!

Popeye says.. If I were a sweepstake ticket, where would I hide? Nope, it's not hiding behind the wall, so...

Popeye goes to Olive and asks her.. Hey Olive, what does the ticket look like? She picks it up off the desk and says... It looks like this!

Oh, what a relief it is!! Olive fans herself while holding the ticket, and of course, it goes flying out the window from the breeze.

OMG! Popeye has to be very cautious with this one, he stalks her while acting like he's minding his own business. Touchy situation for sure!

Pretending to be reading a newspaper, he follows her and finally comes up with using his pipe like a vacuum cleaner, and snags it!.. WHEW!!

But then he runs straight into a garbage can and the ticket goes flying in the wind.

The ticket ends up in the ocean and a fish has it in its jaws, Popeye has it by the tail, and a fisherman has just caught them both!

It lands on the railroad tracks, nearly running over Popeye, and the streaking train causes the ticket to keep on flying through the air with velocity.

Holy crap, it lands on the end of a flag pole on a tall building! And just as Popeye is ready to grab it from its perch...

It blows into a gym and you hear.. Hey, look! A sweepstake ticket!! Popeye goes in and gets beat the crap up, but, he has the ticket and takes it to Olive.

Olive comes out of the theatre and holds up her prize...

A freaking Coo-Coo bird! Okay, remember, Popeye was imagining that the prize was a trip to easy street for them. So, imagine how Popeye reacted when he got a gander of her prize!! Cartoons are GREAT, especially on a Friday, here at The Dungeon!!..