Saturday, April 17, 2021

THE ASTOUNDING SHE-MONSTER- "Evil... Beautiful... Deadly" (1957)

This Saturday Night Special is a Sci-Fi classic called "The Astounding She-Monster," and I can't believe we didn't already do it years ago, but I guess not. How ridiculous, the poster is even part of our header collage!

"The Astounding She-Monster" came out in 1957, and is not nearly as bad as people say it is, and a lot more watchable than at least 50% of the crap made today! It had an estimated budget of $18,000, or the equivalent cost of lunch for the crew of a film today.

The cast consists of six actors, period, and stars Dungeon hero Robert Clarke!

Pin-up model Shirley Kilpatrick had the role of the She-Monster. Shirley died in 1971 at the age of 35, but I cannot find out why or how, but what you can find are lots of cheesy photos of her with a quick search of her name!

Here's what's happening. This trio kidnapped a rich heiress with plans on making a lot of ransom money and are heading for higher ground.
 From left to right we have perennial heavy Kenne Duncan as Nat Burdell, who had 273 credits including Dr. Acula in Ed Wood's "Night Of The Ghouls." Nat was also a good drinkin' buddy of Ed's and made him executor of his estate!
 Next to him is Marilyn Harvey as the gagged kidnap victim Margaret Chaffee. The next woman is Jeanne Tatum as the drunkard girlfriend of Nat, Esther Malone, and driving is Ewing Miles Brown as the other thug, Brad Conley. Ewing's nickname was Lucky, and he lived to be 97, so I guess he was compared to most of the rest of the cast.

Driving along, Brad suddenly sees what he thinks is an apparition, and crashes the car.

The cops are after them, and they need to lay low, so they get out and start walking.

Robert Clarke as geologist Dick Cutler and his dog Egan saw a bright light come down from the sky, and headed back to their cabin in the woods..............

..............When Nat and the gang show up, and start making trouble!

Esther is very thirsty and kills a fifth of whiskey almost all by herself.

Tough guy Nat likes to slap dames around, and it's starting to piss Dick Cutler off!

Brad sees the strange woman at the window, and decides to pursue her, and after emptying his pistol into her without any results, she approaches him, and her mere touch is enough to kill him.

When Brad doesn't come back, Nat goes out looking for him, but finds the space woman instead, and fires way more bullets than his pistol could ever possible hold.

Meanwhile Esther is left alone to keep her eye on Dick and Margaret. She has a bit of a problem staying focused!

Nat finds Brad's dead body and drags it back to the cabin. Dick explains that it looks like her hand print is charged with radium, and tells Nat that he needs to go see a doctor immediately since he came in contact with Brad when he brought the body back.

"The She-Monster" breaks in through the window of the cabin, and all Hell breaks loose!

They decide to douse her with gasoline and light her up like Dr. Danger, but that doesn't work either!

She chases Nat to the edge of a cliff, and he is able to sidestep her, and she plunges to her death, so he thinks, but she just shakes it off, and gets back up!

Probably the weakest part of the film is the poor use of day for night towards the end! I mean seriously, does this look like night to you?
 
Everybody except for Dick and Margaret get knocked off, including "The She-Monster," and the only thing left is her medallion!

Inside it, they find a letter that says that "The She-Monster" wasn't a monster at all, but more of an emissary sent to get Earth to join up with the rest of the civilized Universe. It was all just a big case of misunderstanding and miscommunication!
Because of a lot of similarities, "The Astounding She-Monster," and "Beast From Haunted Cave" would make a riveting double feature for any fan of 50's Sci-Fi, and I'm sure you would agree!

Friday, April 16, 2021

AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE / Mail Order Bride - 2002

I started watching Adult Swim from day one and watched it every night for almost twenty years, until we dumped our cable service. Aqua Teen Hunger Force was there to assault our senses with things never imagined before.

This episode takes place during Xmas, our gang's house is one piece of crap located in New Jersey and the boys have the worst decorations in the neighborhood... Or anywhere!

Frylock is checking out Meatwad's present wish list...

He's having a problem figuring out what the Hell it is Meatwad wants.

In the meantime, Shake and their next door neighbor Carl are working on their own Xmas present, and boy is it a whopper!

You see, Shake and Carl have ordered a mail order bride from Chechnya, and, a semi truck and trailer has just pulled up in front of Shake's house.

The bride-to-be is dropped off and of course Carl is the first one out to greet her.

Svetlana's reading the contract when Shake gets in her face and orders her to go cook something for him, he's starving!

Then Carl asks her to put some special clothes on he picked out for the occasion!

She runs into Carl's house and shuts the door. Carl thinks he's got it made until he discovers that the door's locked!

Carl tries to get over to his house on a ladder...

But, it collapses and Carl ends up with a broken neck. He yells at her, hey baby, look what I did just for you!

Svetlana immediately puts a board over the window.

So, Carl is out of the hospital and is still excited about getting married in the morning. That's some wild looking head gear he's sporting.

So, night falls and it's a short wait for Shake and Carl's wedding day to begin.

The wedding's at Carl's house, Svetlana wants to have the ceremony take place in separate rooms, and with the door locked.

The ceremony is just ending when Svetlana burns rubber in Carl's car to get the Hell away from those guys as quickly as possible!

Carl paid a DJ for the celebration and he's not going to waste his money. That's George Lowe playing himself, you'll remember him as the voice of Space Ghost in SPACE GHOST, COAST TO COAST.

As usual, Carl and the boys get burned, bad. The only one that's having a good time is Meatwad!

Wednesday, April 14, 2021

NOWHERE TO GO - "Except Onto A Woman's Couch" (1958)

 
Tonight's Weird Wednesday presentation is a great British film from 1958 entitled "Nowhere To Go." This film is weirder than Hell, has some amazing cast members, and the camera work is well thought out for each and every shot!

"Nowhere To Go" is about a con man played by George Nader who escapes from prison, tries to pull of a big heist, fails, and consequently has "Nowhere To Go!"

As you can see, "Nowhere To Go" is a very stylish and atmospheric film.
 
Dungeon Super Hero George Nader is Paul Gregory. He's a predator!

George Nader's list of credits is about as amazing as anyone's in the outright strange but awesome category, and you can check it out for yourself by following this link!
Just a couple of prime examples are "House Of A 1000 Dolls," "The Million Eyes Of Sumuru," "The Human Duplicators," "Robot Monster," and all the Jerry Cotton movies.
 
So much is so strange about this film, from the camera angles to the really odd cuts, it will really keep you wondering!

Even people just walking down the street are interesting!
This was Director Seth Holt's first film!

In 1971 Seth Holt passed away at the age of 47 before his last film, "Blood Of The Mummy's Tomb," was completed!

In one of her earliest roles, Dame Maggie Smith has the role of Paul Gregory's potential significant other, Bridget Howard.
Magnificent Maggie is well known these days for her ongoing role as Professor Minerva McGonagall in the Harry Potter series of films, and she's still working today!

 George Nader is another actor I absolutely cannot believe doesn't have a star on the stupid Hollywood Walk Of Fame. My word, they should be ashamed! I could give a list of at least 100 people less deserving, that do have a star.

Paul Gregory is up to his ears in trouble, and it's getting to the point where he has zero allies!

All that, and we haven't even got to the real reason I wanted to watch this movie yet!
So how do you like the entertainment in this club? It was hard to get a good shot, but the main act is a blackbird balanced on a soccer ball rolling it around in a little ring.

And her she is, everybody's favourite vampiress, Andree Melly, as Rosa the cocktail waitress who brings Paul home to her flat for the night! As quirky as ever, Rosa doesn't like the bird. 
Around these parts, Andree's most memorable role is that of Gina in "The Brides Of Dracula."

Rosa has a cat that makes it difficult for Paul to get any rest.

When the law is on your tail, it's always best to head to the rooftops!

Believe it or not, Snoop Dog, Snoopy, and Snow White have stars on the HWoF, but not Maggie Smith. I really think it's time to rethink that whole project!

For being a con man, Paul Gregory respects the women who help him out, and even sleeps on the couch in Bridget Howard's home. Bridget has one of the most interesting doors to her bedroom I have ever seen.

Not riding off into the sunset, "Nowhere To Go" is not one of those kinds of films!
There's no happy ending here.

Last, but absolutely not least, "Nowhere To Go" has got a killer jazzy soundtrack by Jamaican-born  trumpeter Dizzy Reece, with help from tenor sax player Tubby Hayes. I wasn't really that familiar with these players, so when I first read the name Dizzy Reece, it really confounded me, and I just figured out why. When I was a kid, I used to watch a lot of baseball on TV, and one the most famous pair of announcers at the time were ex-players Dizzy Dean and Pee Wee Reese. Yeah, I know Reese is spelled differently, but that's still pretty weird!
Here's a damn fine reason this film is so good!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??