BRAINDRAINER / Low Budget No Brainer! - 1999

Okay, I've come to a conclusion, Friday is... Anything Goes! And come to think of it, this movie is just as coherent as the world we live in ~

I like this shot on video movie better than most of the fifties parody crap I see on Prime. Michael Legge is an actor/writer/director with 18 credits, and was the best of the characters.

The story starts with a rock streaking through space, there's actually some pretty cool space effects until after the thing hits the ground.

But, this is what a weirdo finds in a field, the rock from outer space!

Now what a minute, that is anything but a meteorite from space!! Reminds me of when we were working on THE CREEP, the editor was making a composite shot with the Moon. He had a regular pebble put in the scene, and when he asked me what I thought, I was flabbergasted, what the heck, man! Then he said, do you want me to use the real Moon?..

But anyway, two pretend doofus cops come up on the guy who's holding the 'meteorite' in his hand, he's just standing there with a stupid grin on his face. The cops try and get the rock out of his hand and they get stupider too!

Here's Michael Legge as The Amazing Jacques, a bratty girl comes to the door and wants to get paid for delivering his groceries... He looks a lot like our actor pal, Tom F.

So, Jacques pulls a hypnotic eye out of his pocket and tells the girl... You will pay my monthly newspaper bill.

She repeats the line and says that she will pay his bill...

Then, The Creeper takes The Amazing Jacques to meet someone, his boss, Spiderwoman. She wants Jacques to join their little club to try and get their hands on the meteorite, in order to take over the world! Or, something like that.

In the meantime, Senator Vapid has become victim to the rock's power, draining his brain. Dr. Garland and her blind assistant, Matt Retina, are trying to figure out what the Hell's going on. Check it out, she's holding up a chart, 'nuf said.

The Amazing Jacques hypnotizes Dr. Garland and Matt to help him and his cohorts locate the desired object...

Suddenly, Senator Vapid awakens from his trance and starts talking... He's now the mouthpiece for the alien invaders, telling the story of how they arrived on Earth, and more. Bob Eiland plays the Senator, I also thought he was very good in his role, In this scene where he's talking as the alien, he sounds like a drugged-up Elmer Fudd and it's pretty damn funny.

I just like this picture a lot.

Matt tells Jacques and Spiderwoman that he has a Robodoc that can help in the operation to remove the rock from the senator's head. But, there are no eyes, Robodoc asks Jacques if he could use his!

The operation goes haywire I believe... Come to think of it, I'm not sure what's actually going on. Machts nichts!

In some b/w scenes, Dr Garland pulls her bra out and uses it as a sling shot, which hits Senator Vapid's head. Whotta shot!

I guess the rock's in his head again (I don't know) and he seems normal again...

At his first news conference since returning to the real world, the senator tries to clear his throat, only to cough up a bunch of little rocks, which the crowd quickly grab up! Ho Boy! Eegah's up tomorrow so I recommend you check in for that, here at The Dungeon!!..

SHERLOCK - "A Study in Pink" X 2 (2010)

For those who feel so inclined, here's a fun thing you can do, and that is watch the 'unaired' pilot for "Sherlock," and then watch the first episode, because it's the same story, but different! 

I think you'll see it makes for a pretty Weird Wednesday!

The top and very plain title card is for the unaired pilot of "Sherlock," and the scenic one is the one from the first episode.

The story title card from the pilot is pretty boring as compared to..................

.............This one from the first episode that is much more enticing and intriguing!

Today is Veteran's Day so it's fitting to have a story about a wounded soldier returning from an ugly war!

I guess the top picture from Dr. Watson's Blog was just too simple for the producers or whoever it was calling the shots!

In the pilot episode the Psychologist's office is smaller, and then they decided to not only enlarge the room but they also reversed the positions of Dr. Watson and his Shrink named Ella! 

 

Tanya (Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker) Moodie plays Ella in both episodes but her appearance is quite different in the two.

Not so for the character of Sally Donovan, because in the pilot, Sally is played by Zawe (Velvet Buzzsaw) Ashton, but....

.............In the first episode, for some reason Zawe was replaced and Sally is now played by Vinette (Say Your Prayers) Robinson.

The pilot of "Sherlock" is only 55 minutes long, but the first episode is 88 minutes long, so they did use some of the same footage, like this shot, and they added characters like Sherlock's brother Mycroft who goes on to be one of the main characters in later episodes.

I think this one got to me the most, this pink bag just wasn't good enough!

Can you imagine being the person who decided that the first pink bag just didn't cut the mustard, and didn't deserve the job? I guess somebody has to be that anal retentive!

The pilot features Joseph (Dr. Who) Long as the cafe owner named Angelo.............

.......But in the first episode, Angelo was switched to Stanley Townsend, who among his 136 credits has done a virtual ton of voices for video games.

 

Well there's more than one, but here's at least one constant, the über-creepy cabdriver as played by Phil (Alien³) Davis!

Watch them back to back if you're stuck at home and killing time is killing you, it's an excellent way to go!

KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER / "They Have Been, They Are, They Will Be" - 1974

Here's one from the seventies, Kolchak goes up against some aliens from outer space this time! Can you believe it? A sci-fi episode! There are tie-ins with the movies, IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE, ISLAND OF TERROR and THE QUATERMASS XPERIMENT, along with some red herrings to confuse things a bit... Confuse everyone except Carl, that is.

Well, the action starts when Kolchak gets a lead and he heads over to Raydyne Electronics where the police have surrounded the place. So, what's the big deal?

Well, everything's going haywire there! The damn wall is exploding and a very strong wind blows the cops around like they're nothing! I'd bet the stuntmen had a hoot working on this one, they're flying all over the goddamn place!

The wall collapses in one spot, revealing...

Ingots of lead!!.. As they all watch, the lead disappears into thin air.

Another lead finds Kolchak at the house of Dick Van Patten. Seems like he found a pile of stinky dark stuff, and the city came by and picked it up. 

Carl finds a hunk of it on the lawn as he's leaving and takes it with him.

But then, the owner of warehouse full of electronic equipment gets to meet the aliens and goes missing along with some of the items...

Kolchak wants Dr. Winestock at the crime lab (played by Mary Wickes) to analyze the piece of material he found, she ends up spilling the beans, they already know what it's made of... Hydrochloric acid, acetone and bone marrow!

At the morgue, Carl and his pal Gordy (John Fielder) make their exchange and Kolchak's on his way to listening to the tape with the description of the man during his autopsy, he had NO BONE MARROW!!

Then we head over to Griffith Observatory to give things that needed sci-fi feel...

Kiochak wanders in and sees the dead security guard, without his bone marrow. After figuring out that the aliens are invisible, he heads out to find more clues.

Kolchak is driving in his Mustang when the engine cuts out, then his dashboard compass starts spinning wildly and explodes!! He gets out of the car and goes exploring. He finds a flying saucer and goes up to it, and touches it.

The devilish wind comes up again and Carl is swept aside, he watches as the door to the ship opens up, and after the door closes, the wind subsides. Then, the craft rises up and disappears into the night sky.

 

Carl concludes that the aliens were just LOST IN SPACE! Well, there you go, what a whale of a tale! We will be back on Wednesday with more cool junk, just for you!!