THE BEYOND / aka SEVEN DOORS OF DEATH - 1981

Sorry to say kids, today you get a razor blade in your candy! In this creepy Euro tale, an old hotel is being renovated, unfortunately, it was built on top of  the door to... THE BEYOND! The woman who is heir to the estate starts noticing very strange things going on....

Like, this hole in the wall in the basement, it's filled the place up with three feet of mucky water, so a plumber is brought in to fix whatever, just fix it please!

The plumber is up to his knees in the sludge when he notices a new hole open up in the wall. He's dumbfounded by the  whole thing and closes in for a better look, when... A hand with claws reaches out and grabs his face!! Oh yeah, it pops out an eye for good measure!

Are you enjoying that first bite of candy yet?

Well, they can't find the plumber, but they do find a rotting corpse floating in the filthy basement water. It's taken to a lab for analysis. The doctor there thought he saw a sign of life on his monitor before leaving the room.

After the doctor exits, a bottle of acid tips over and starts spilling out on a female corpse there. The skin melts off her face, revealing some slimy ghoulish creature!

Foam from her skin becomes a BLOB-like mass that chases a little girl!

The girl opens a door only to find these things in there! Don't know how, but she gets away, they cut before you know what happens.

A little break with some cool jazz and a cold drink, wish you were here!..

Here's another bite of that candy, the plumber comes out of hiding, finds one of the women screwing around in the basement and ends up ramming her head through a steel rod! And, one of her eyes pops out!

The story's more involved than I'm willing to spend time on, but, here are two of the creeps from The Beyond, they are here for one reason, to bring the blind girl back! That's right, BACK. Because, she's actually one of them.

She pleads but her pet dog chews her neck apart! I guess you have to die to go back?

Our stars barely make it out of the hotel before all the undead come alive there, the place is literally crawling with them!

They go to the hospital only to find everyone there is a zombie...

After firing off about twenty five shots (there's no clip), this is the last bullet our guy has left, he grabs his girl and they head back to the hotel...

They are inside in the underbelly of the hotel, when, the whole goddamn place crumbles to the ground. There are strange sights and weird sounds coming from the wasteland full of dead bodies, leading to only one conclusion...

They are in... THE BEYOND!!

Now, they get to be the blind ones. Hope this isn't US in a month! Now, the only question is, what in the heck kinda treat are we going to get on Wednesday when Eegah!! returns with the goods? Here at The Dungeon!!..

HOLLOW GATE - "Hollowgate" (1988)

This Saturday Night Special ain't that special in my humble opinion, but it IS Halloween oriented and tis the season! So, without further adieu, here's........................

............................."Hollowgate," or is it "Hollow Gate?" Even the producers don't seem to know, and that pretty much sets the stage, although it's not really a stage, but more like an empty cardboard box!

These kids are at the local costume shop and the one girl really wants the purple wig, but her boyfriend is too cheap to buy it for her!

The proprietor offers them a way to get the wig for nothing. All they have to do is deliver a couple of boxes to some mansion that's right on the way to where they are going!

All that's missing is Scooby-Doo!

It doesn't matter the reason, if this guy answers the door........................

.....................RUN!!!

Just what the world needs, another creative creep who has a costume and a different method of whacking all his innocent victims!

As it ever will be, payback is a bitch!

It's very possible that it can!

"Hollow Gate" got 3.3 stars out of 10 on IMDB, and that might be generous!

 

 

 

Too bad they couldn't have got The Shat for the lead role, it would have still be a lousy movie, but I'm sure it would have been a little more interesting!

HOME MOVIES / "Coffins And Cradles" - 2003

This is one of my top 10 shows, it ran for four seasons and got pretty complicated with the character interactions near the end. Anyway, here's their Halloween episode from season three. The series is about 3rd graders Brendon Small and his friends Jason and Melissa. They have made hundreds of their movies and that's what it's all about. Brendon is voiced by, who else, the real Brendon Small, the master guitarist and song writer from Dethklok, and voice of the singer, Nathan Explosion.

In this episode, Brendon's step mom Linda is nine months pregnant and staying at Brendon's house so that his mom Paula can help out. Brendon and her DO NOT get along.

The other ingredient that makes this series awesome in the kids' soccer coach, John  McGuirk, voiced by the great H. Jon Benjamin, also the voice of Bob in BOB'S BURGERS. 

Anyway, he thought it was some kids he could yell at after being woken up from a nap. But, it's a girl from his past that has now joined a spiritual cult and is out drumming up business for her brothers and sisters.

Here are Perry and his pal trick-or-treating at the Small's house. Linda answers the door and Perry asks her if she's dressed up like an ugly housewife for Halloween. She chases them away.

Speaking of things that need to be chased away, here are me and Eegah!! as a 2-headed psycho at a Halloween party around 2003 I believe. Seriously, nobody liked us, they just wanted us to stay the Hell away!

So, Jason, Melissa and their teacher Mr. Lynch are there to pick up Brendon so that they all can go trick-or-treating together.

In the meantime, coach MsGuirk lets his girlfriend dress him up in a costume with make up, heels and a wig. Oh, and soup cans for boobs! They're getting all frisky, when...the coach has a heart attack!

Well, the good news is that he's going to be fine, but, he did suffer a heart attack and has to take it easy for awhile. He's kinda cute.

Halloween gets short-circuited when it's time for Linda to have her baby. They all rush to the hospital to be with her and Brendon wants to tape the event. The doc says... NO!

Of course Brendon and Linda get into a fight and she calls him everything in the book in a bleepathon, and the little guy shoots back some of the same, then leaves.

Brendon, Melissa, Jason and Mr. Lynch are in the waiting room where Mr. Lynch tempts the kids with a pile of candy. Problem is, Jason is a recovering candyholic...

When the threshold is reached, he eats all the candy and turns into the Jason from Hell.

Then, Brendon sees coach McGuirk in one of the hospital rooms, and the coach tells him the whole twisted story of what happened.

Melissa (who always feels obligated to help him at times like this) is concerned about Jason so finally tracks him down in a store room, sucking down sugar water. He tells her to back off!

But, Melissa also has some quirks, like, when she's pushed to her limits, she totally overreacts. Here, she slaps Jason from Hell about twenty times, hard, until he finally turns back into regular Jason.

So, Linda has the baby and everyone meets in her room to end this crazy episode. Well, that's our first Halloween Countdown 2020 treat for you, come back tomorrow for your all-day sucker, here at The Dungeon!!..