UFO - "Identified" (1970)

 This week I've got a real Saturday Night Special for you, and it's loaded and ready to go!

 "UFO" was a British TV show that was on for one season from 1970-71.

The first episode was titled "Identified."

 Gerry and Sylvia Anderson were projecting ten years into the future!

So sit back and just imagine how the world was supposed to be exactly forty years ago!

They might have got a couple of things wrong!

 First off, the future, I mean the past, is all about sex, and I've got evidence to back up this theory!

Nine years later and Sid Vicious was dead! Was it irony or prophecy?

You tell me! He was from Space you know!

 One of the earliest first person shooter games, "DOOM" didn't come out until some 23 years later!

 I never was quite sure why the Andersons thought the cars of the future should all look like Studebaker Avanti variations!

So here's the deal, forty years ago, there was a secret force that kept the Earth safe from UFO's.

The weird part is that most of the time they refer to them as 'you-fos' not 'you eff ohs!' That part takes a little getting used to.

 So that's basically the whole show in a nutshell!

 When they're not having to deal with UFO's, then it's just .......

 ......Sex......

 ......Sex.............

 .............And more Sex!

  Got any complaints? Talk to the Manager!

 Booze vending machines rock!

 These two guys just figured out that in retrospect, forty years ago compared to the present day, wasn't that bad after all!

Thanks Gerry and Sylvia! The world needed that!

THE LAST OMEGA MAN ON EARTH / Frank Dietz - Monster Kid Home Movies - 1975

So, it's the end of the world and Robert is out walking his dog on a nice summer day...

Oh and, uh, he's the last man on Earth you know. Hey, wonder what he's looking at?

Even though he's the last man on Eatrh and all, that doesn't mean he's freakin' alone!!

And, we finally get to the title card. We've already reviewed another Frank Dietz Monster Kid Home Movie called THE LIGHTHOUSE, a scene taken from Harryhausen's THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS.

Well, the place looks abandoned, but I don't think the traffic lights would still be working!

Anyway, Robert has an interesting way of attracting the undead vampires. He eats Cheerios in the front yard and when one of them varmints comes along, he just pulls out his rifle and shoots them! That bed sheet is too clean for my liking.

He also likes to go to the park and hunt down vampires, I mean like, what else is there to do?!

Robert goes home to find the Cheerio mutant in his house. He shoots him a number of time but the guy just laughs at him!

So, it's simply a game of checkers to see who will win the fight for the fate of the world!!..

I'll give you one guess as to who wins the match.

What is Robert to do except become one of THEM!! It figures. Join us again tomorrow when Eegah!! brings the goods as we end another month of craziness, here at The Dungeon!!

13 SHOWS I'LL PROBABLY NEVER GET AROUND TO WATCHING! (1964 - 2003)

 I've spent a lot of time over the years rooting around on the internet trying to find new and interesting movies and TV shows to present to you here. With the help of  Lord Litter in Germany, and The Internet Archive, I'm running out of hard drive space. A lot of the shows we've found are really bad VHS copies, and some I'm just not really interested in, so I'm deleting them to free up some space, but just for the Heck of it, I've saved the title cards, so for your entertainment, here's Tonight's bit of Wednesday Weirdness!

To start off with, "Alien Lover" was an episode of a 1975 TV show called "The Wide World Of Mystery."

 "Alien Nation" was a TV show that was on for one season in 1989-90.

 "Alien  Private Eye" was a movie that came out in 1989!

 Even though the 2007 film "Balls Of Fury" had Christopher Walken and Terry Crews in it, I've got better things to do!

 I'm kind of glad this psychopath film "Bits & Pieces" from 1985 is a horrible copy!

 "Encounter With The Unknown" was a trilogy from 1972 narrated by Rod Serling. This copy was almost unwatchable, and if I really want to watch it, I'll just watch it on Amazon.

 I'd actually like to see this 1964 film titled "For Those Who Think Young" starring James Darren and Pamela Tiffen. It even has Bob Denver performing a song called "Ho Daddy," but this was also a terrible copy! Sometimes that's what you get for free! This one can also be viewed on Amazon, so I might get around to that some day!

 The 1996 movie "Generation X" was about a group of young mutants! 

This copy was pretty mutated too, and basically not watchable!

 "Land Of  Doom" was a 1986 West German film about a post nuclear war society or the lack thereof!

 This 1990 film called "Quick Change" starred Bill Murray. There is no way I could sit through this one, the quality was so bad!

 This 1972 TV movie called "The People" had Kim Darby, Diane Varsi, and William Shatner in it, but this washed out VHS copy of a copy wasn't worth trying to view!

 The 2003 film "The Singing Detective" featured Robert Downey Jr. and Mil Gibson. I'll probably never try and find a good copy!

And last on this list of thirteen is a 1980 title that reminds me of what happens to me when I try and watch horrible copies of crappy movies, "The Sleep Of Death" creeps in!

So that's it. 

IF one of these is your favorite films, then let me know, and maybe I'll reconsider it!!

LAND OF THE LOST / Season 1 Episode 13 "Follow That Dinosaur" - 1974

Here's one for those Saturday morning kids of the seventies. In this wacky Sid & Marty Krofft episode, the Marshall's find half a diary of a former human resident of the Land of the Lost! And, the diary may hold the key to them returning to the real world, nut don't count on it, this is only the thirteenth episode of season one!

This was Wesley Eure's first acting role and he used the name 'Wesley' as a gimmick, something he regrets to this day. He took 21 years off between 1992 to 2013 but is back and already has three acting credits in 2020.

Kathy Coleman has second billing in the series as Holly, she quit Hollywood after Land Of The Lost but like Wesley, she's working again, but after 44 years away from show biz! Spencer Milligan plays the dad, he stepped away from from Hollywood in 1987 (played Jeb Hrmthmg in SLEEPER in 1973) and is back in 2020! What's up with these actors?

So, the family is woken up by old Grumpy, the trouble making T-Rex that loves to pick on them! But this time, Holly figures out that it's after some of a plant she calls 'dinosaur-nip' because dinosaurs seem to love it like cats do with cat-nip. The first time I heard Holly say it, I thought she said... 'Dino-Hemp!' So, after seeing how Grumpy tore the crap out of their curtain, Holly comes up with the idea of ridding their area of the plant and tossing it off a cliff.

It's off to the cliffs they go to dump the plants. Then while searching for something, Holly discovers what seems to be a person under some rocks. It's a dummy made by a human, and it has part of a diary in its pocket.

In the meantime, Grumpy and Big Alice (an Allosaurus) argue with each other across a ravine.

In the diary, it says where the entrance to the way home is, so the gang has to cross a narrow rock walkway over to Big Alice's side of the world...

Grumpy barely makes it across the walkway in pursuit of the three and falls flat on it's face!

As the two dinosaurs duke it out, the guys find the entrance... Oh and, Beware of Sleestak!

They find another segment of the diary and have to tippy-toe through some hibernating Sleestaks in order to get to the next place the diary says to go.

As dad, Will and Holly waste their time, Alice and Grumpy are in a painful, biting stalemate!!

Everything's cool until they find the bones of the guy who wrote the diary... Game over, pick up your marbles and head on home!

But of course the Sleestaks wake up just as our gang is leaving, making for a scary moment...

Dad, Holly and Will talk about the crazy day they've had just before they turn the lights out on this episode, so, good night ya'll... Here at The Dungeon!!..