BREEDERS / Beyond Infinity, Entertainment Concepts - 1986

We're back in New York, it's another impossible eighties story about a string of young women admitted to the Manhattan General Hospital who have been raped by something otherworldly. Then, the victims begin arising in a trance and leaving the hospital by an underground passage.

I have a sound clip for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button located there by our atom powered hot tub, NOW, Rufus The Gnat!.. Here's some... BREEDERS!

Here's one of the victims at the hospital, Detective Andriotti and Dr. Pace try to figure out what the Hell is going on in the city.

This photo model gets her freak on after the shoot with a line of coke. She puts a cassette tape (for Eegah!!) in the boom box, strips down and exercises away!

The gay dude comes in her room and turns into a Breeder, then shags her like a rubber rug.

Here's the interesting little friend of the bag lady in the alley just before she gets attacked!

Anyway, this gal gets up and walks out of the hospital to join her other pals in the special underground hot tub filled with, err...

The doctor and Detective Andriotti track down the underground lair and discover the special hot tub full of naked women.

Then, Chuckles shows up to protect his booty. As a monster maker myself, I'm always interested in the designs of these ugly little monstrosities.

Well, the doctor whacks Chuckles in the head a goodern, and, he bites the dust... Then, some of the male victims down there shed their skins, it's a mad house!!

But, there's still a problem, all the girls in the tub are trying to get knocked up, passionately rolling around in the alien fluid.

So, the doc and the dick call these hilarious dudes at the power plant to help out...

They tell them to throw the switch while they throw a roll of wire into the liquid, game over!!.. Or, is it?!.. Undoubtedly, Eegah!! will have something special for us tomorrow.

NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN - James Bond (1983)

I'm not sure exactly what I was doing back in 1983, but I know one thing, it wasn't watching movies like this! "Never Say Never Again" is the last time Sean Connery will ever play James Bond. He was really done in 1971 in "Diamonds Are Forever," but they dragged him back out, and in the nuttiest of nutshells, here's the reason why! It's well documented all over the internet, so if you want to know the whole story, do a search, but while the well known Ian Fleming is the author of the James Bond books, the lesser know Kevin McClory was given the job of adapting the Bond character to the big screen, so much that he owned the film rights to "Thunderball." Fleming and McClory had a big falling out, and after duking it out for years, he was eventually given the right to make another James Bond movie. So, they got Sean Connery to come back for a remake of "Thunderball!" Unfortunately none of the other regulars, M, Q, and Miss Moneypenny were able to return, so the whole thing kind of seems like a weird dream. For me, it's okay, but it doesn't really work, but that's just me!

The story goes that after 1967, Sean Connery said he would never ever do another James Bond movie, so when he took this role, his wife jokingly suggested it should be called "Never Say Never Again!"

Back in the real world, the other James Bond movies continued to be made, and in the same year, "Octopussy" with Roger Moore was released, and actually sold more that "Never Say Never Again!"  Ironic as it may be, even though Sean Connery was deemed to be too olde to continue in the role, Sean was 53 years old, and Roger Moore was 56 the same year!

The beautiful Barbara (Embryo) Carrera had the role of the eveil Fatima!

Of course the world's most evil and influential man is nothing without his beloved pussy cat!

Klaus Maria (Mephisto) Brandauer has the role of Maximilian Largo, the same character played by Adolfo Celi in"Thunderball!" Talk about longevity, Klaus has got his own TV show coming out this year called "Capelli Code," where he plays the leading character of Frank Capelli!

What finally takes out a giant bad guy pursuing James Bond?  A big heaping dose of James Bond's piss!

The glow in the room full of nuclear armaments is freakin' eerie!

This is how Fatima repays her loyal and dedicated employee!

I didn't find Alec (Frenzy) McCowen to be any match to Desmond Lleweln in the role of Q!

"Never Say Never Again" was the big screen debut of Rowan (Mr. Bean, Johnny English) Atkinson!

I'm not a big fan of underwater scenes, and this movie has probably got 15 or 20 minutes underwater, but I have to admit, it's some of the best underwater footage I've ever seen, and it just might have something to do with that fact that "The Creature From The Black Lagoon" himself, or at least the guy who wore the creature suit, Ricou Browning, was the guy working as the underwater sequence director!

This is a great shot!

Bernie (Dr. Black, Mr. Hyde) Casey is in there as Bond's best buddy and sidekick!

This film was only Kim (L.A. Confidential) Basinger's third big screen outing, she had only done TV before that!

I think this scene dates this film the most! A big dollar party where the highlight of the evening was playing arcade video games like Centipede!

The theme song and ending credits as composed by Michel Legrand, performed by Sergio Mendes and Herb Alpert, and sung by Lani Hall, and Sophie Della respectively, is 1983 to a tee!

The better music is like this 60 seconds of funk that was on the radio when Largo throws a fit!

The big challenge between Bond and Largo is a big and rather stupid video game that shocks the loser!

I think an equally appropriate title for this film would be this half-ass quote from Shakespeare, "Quoth the Raven.......

Never Moore!"

You know it's really over for this version of James Bond when he's served a fruity drink in a hurricane glass instead of a martini! Yep, that's all folks!!

DEATH BY INVITATION / Kirt Films - 1971

Here's one I got off of TCM Underground a few years ago, now, it's time to check it out. It's all about a young woman who learns that one of her ancestors had been burned at the stake as a witch, so, she decides to seek revenge for her on the descendants of the people who put her to death... Okay, this is another movie from Kirt Films in New York, producers of the gawd awful CURSE OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN and CARNIVAL OF BLOOD, which we've already reviewed.

I have a sound clip for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button located there by our charred witch post, NOW, Ralphie The Tarantula!.. Here's a sample from... DEATH BY INVITATION!

The story starts with a flashback from the past, the most exciting thing for the whole family to do back then was to burn people at the stake!! I mean, like, what the Hell else was there to do?

This was Shelby Leverington's first acting credit, she plays vengeance seeking, Lise. Man, the seventies was a weird time for fashion! Nerds in suits...

Wow, what a great place for a picnic, you go girls!

Here's Jake and his family at dinner, they appear to be very religious...

If you're going to make a horror flick, well, you definitely need a scene at a cemetery!

Here's Peter, boyfriend of Lise, he's going to show everyone how strong he is and put this kid's arm right through the plate glass on this coffee table!

Loving Lise is tough, she's a whacko bird! While she sleeps, he goes into her closet that has blood all over the floor.

That's because there's a decapitated head and some guts leaking blood out of a plastic bag there. So, Lise is the ax murderer??..

Naw, it's freakin' Jake, his ancestors were responsible for crimes from the past, and, he's actually the crazed ax murderer!

Lise has a vision during the altercation, confirming who the ax murderer is, I guess!

And, mean old Jake gets his just desserts, a nice ax slice of neck with cherry syrup! So, we're back Wednesday with more craziness, just for you...