THE BRAIN LEECHES - Fred Olen Ray - "An Odyssey Of Terror" (1978)

Welcome to the bottom most pit of The Dungeon. Tonight's movie is historical for one reason, and that's because it was a film made by a very young Fred Olen Ray! Great title! Bad movie!

Made in the late 70's, this film was never released I guess until Sinister Cinema unearthed it some time in the last 20 years! In reality, it probably should have stayed buried forever, but oh, well!

I really think they got the decimal in the wrong place, but if Fred really did spend $298.00 on "The Brain Leeches," then at least 97.3%  must have gone toward the price of the film!

With all due respect, and I do respect anybody that has tried to make a movie, Lord knows we tried more than once, but sometimes you just have to tell the truth, and the fact of the matter is that "The Brain Leeches" is a piece of shit at best! Lovable? No! Crappable? Yes Indeed! To his credit, Fred Olen Ray was only 24 when this film was made, and he now has 139 titles to his name, and I'm guessing has made more movies with the word 'Bikini' in the title than any other person in the world, like "Bikini Airways," "Bikini A Go Go," "Bikini Chain Gang," "Ghost In A Teeny Bikini," and "Super Ninja Bikini Babes!" I think I counted 17! His current project coming out this year is titled "Small Town Prince!"

The highlight of the whole movie is the title song performed by Paul Jones & Sugar Lee and presented here for your listening pleasure! The second highlight of the film was another tune Paul & Sugar performed during the closing credits! (Maybe the $298.00 went to them!)

Okay, let's get the action going with a guy fishing for an indeterminate amount of time!

After a while, he's attacked and gets killed by some incredible lake somethings!

They must have filmed "The Brain Leeches" on a Wednesday!

No, Sir, I'm afraid it's not possible to get your money back!

Omigawd!! I can't take, take, take, take it no more!

Highlight number three! The calm before the storm!

"The Brain Leeches" isn't even an hour long, and yet there's still plenty of utterly useless and completely worthless scenes like milling around in the kitchen for 3 or 4 minutes doing absolutely nothing, aka filler!

I will not lie to you, after watching about 17 minutes, this is exactly the way I looked!

Highlight number four, he wasn't really sleeping!

Minus one point for his wife getting attacked by the leeches that came out of his mouth, and her amazingly pathetic and tepid overdubbed vocals that you'll hear at the end of the title song if you listen to it!

The space aliens are observing the whole thing!

I seriously hope the misspelling of copyright was a joke!
Fred Olen Ray will be turning 61 on September 10th! Happy Birthday Fred!!
Thanks for the mammaries!

MONSTER ISLAND / MTV - 2004

I bought this DVD for three reasons.. The title, Adam West and the fact that they used stop-motion animation for the monsters. After this post though, it goes up for sale on eBay.

So everybody knows, this is an MTV original TV movie... Nuf' said?!

Anyway, dudeski there wins an MTV contest to be in a reality show on some island thanks to his nutty sister and he simply wants to kill her.

I've got a sound clip from this thing for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button over by our monkey farm, NOW, Rufus The Gnat!.. Here's a fun little sample from... MONSTER ISLAND!

Carmen Electra (records?) stars in this high school adventure. Here, she checks out the butts on her two dancing buddies, just the way the MTV crowd likes it!

It's not long before we get to see the bad old giant preying mantis monster in the woods.

Then, they get to meet Dr. Harryhausen (does anyone who watches MTV even know who the Hell Ray Harryhausen is?) and you can hear some of their conversation in the sound clip.

This is a nice portrait of Adam as he entertains the kids in his secret military lab.

These two big monsters battle it out and one gets its head bitten off!!

I swear, this is one cool shot as a giant spider pounces on one the kids...

Shot in Canada, here's a fun scene as the kids climb along a mountain ridge.

Well, the doctor and the kids find a hidden cavern full of monster ants that have enslaved some humans to carry out their antly demands!

So, will the doc and crew solve this mystery without getting their heads bitten off?.. Tune in tomorrow when Eegah!! will have a special post just for you!

BABY BOTTLENECK - Warner Brothers Studios (1946)

"Baby Bottleneck!" Need I say more?

The Stork Club was a nightclub in Manhattan, New York City, which during its existence from 1929 to 1965 was one of the most prestigious clubs in the world according to Wikipedia!

The combination of alcohol and the job of delivering all the babies in the world is not that great of a match!  As you can see, the stress levels are running very high!

The great thing about this cartoon is that I don't have to explain anything, it's all written out in black and white!

Welcome to the future! Incompetent help is very easy to come by these days!

 

 The temporary help can't seem to get anything right!

No shit! As you will see, the mistakes are a bit worse than slight'! (Read the fine print! "No Exchanges Will Be Made!)

A baby skunk delivered to a duck!

A baby gorilla delivered to a kangaroo!

And a baby cat delivered to it's new parent, a mouse!

Yeah, Sure, Porky will get everything straightened up all right!

Especially since he has incredibly competent help like Daffy Duck!

Here's what happens when Daffy Duck gets involved!

Porky tries to get Daffy to sit on and hatch an egg!

It doesn't go well!

For either of them!

Porky and Daffy get all wrapped up together in a diaper and delivered to a Mother in Africa! My place of employment is also almost this efficient!

That's almost all folks!

Is it just a coincidence that the babyeating festival known as Krampusfest is celebrated at The Bottleneck in Lawrence, Kansas?  Maybe not!