KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE / Chiodo Brothers Productions - 1988

I'll end my week with this very eighties oddball sci-fi horror flick, one that a pal of mine worked on making some of the special props. Other than that, this thing is about as improbable as they come...

I've got a little sound clip from this movie for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button over by our atomic mini clown car, NOW, Rufus The Gnat!.. Here's a sample of... KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE!

The story starts with an apparent meteorite coming down in the forest near the house Farmer Green's house so him and his little pooch go out and investigate. Royal (SPACED INVADERS) Dano is Farmer Green.

This is what two teenagers find in the depths of the circus tent, looks like they took a page out of the STAR WARS play book for this one composite shot.

As heard in the sound clip, Mike and Debbie discover the cocoon room that could be somehow confused with a cotton candy drying room! That's farmer Green there in a sweet gooey cage.

The Klownies then go into town to grab more victims for their perverted objective.

Also in the sound clip you hear this biker dude dare the little Klown to knock his block off, which he does, and, his head ends up in a garbage can!

Then it's policeman Mooney's turn to find out about some of the weird tricks the invaders have in store for humans, like this big, mean old blow out that chokes the life out of him!

Debbie's bathroom gets infested by biting snake Klowns and she implements her hair spray!

Policeman Dave and Mike investigate the Klown's lair and encounter it's full of laffs residents.

Lot's of eye catching fun stuff to pass through as they run for their lives!

Just as things get dire, Mike's pals crash into the place with their ice-cream truck (a vehicle we used to finish off Eddie in our Dungeon flick, THE CREEP) and rescue our heroes. Okay, this is a wall in the freakin' spaceship, what the HELL??!!

Anyway, the Klowns leave Earth in their spinning top UFO but are they gone for good? Probably not! Check in tomorrow for another Dungeon review, just fer you!

L'UOMO DEL COLPO PERFETTO - "Hot Diamonds" (1967)

It's been a while, but the time has finally come for another Wednesday night action packed Italian thriller courtesy of the Cult Action Team!

Tonight's feature is titled "L'uomo Del Colpo Perfetto," or as it was released in Spain, "El Hombre Del Golpe Perfecto!" In English it was called "Hot Diamonds," but "The Perfect Hit Man" would have been a more literal translation!

 I haven't read anything real good about this movie, but is this not one of the coolest images you've seen lately? It's like The Hulk in a freakin' sea swamp, and this is just the imagery used for the opening credits!

 These just might be the sexiest spotlights I've ever seen!

 They probably should have just made a cartoon!

"Hot Diamonds!" No shit! Literally! A plane carrying a large cargo of diamonds suddenly explodes in the middle of nowhere! "Diamonds, Diamonds" was written by By Cassia and Pitevin and performed by the always exciting Raoul!

 Richard Harrison is back as Steve Norton this time, and he really doesn't want to be disturbed!

 Steve Norton is just a little too busy at the moment to be concerned about the fate of the entire world's economy, and who can blame him?

Business is business, and Steve is photographer with a lot of work to do!

 "Say Cheese!"

 The producers don't make any bones about it, so I'm going to just come out and say it, "Hot Diamonds" is about hot chicks! That's it, now you know the whole story! Although she has a pretty small part, Rosalba Neri was the main focus of the Spanish poster. As you can see, unlike on the poster, the dress she is wearing is black not red, and the black dress is open on the sides, not just the middle!

 Steaming hot diamonds!

Steve Norton is a dog!

As it turns out, Rosalba's character was working for the wrong side!

And once you pull a machine gun out on Steve Norton, he loses interest in romance for some reason!

I like the composition of this shot, with a dead guy in a Ford Fairlane juxtaposed with some high end European vehicles to create an extra spicy sauce!

 There's a whole lot of time spent loading the diamonds in and out of secret underwater spots both on land and at sea! That's the way they evade the authorities, and drag the movie out!

 I skipped over the great Luis Dávila here as the bad guy Gustav, and also another Italian doll Alida Chelli, but here's two photos of yet another Italian beauty, Diana Lorrys in bed, and in trouble!

Fine then, have it your way, The End!! Did you know there are only 21 letters in the Italian alphabet? They don't use J or K or X,Y, and Z! No wonder their movies are so strano!

OUTER LIMITS / It Crawled Out Of The Woodwork - 1963

Let's start off the month with this wild little tale from the mind of Joseph Stefano, head writer for the Outer Limits series. It's all about an energy-being that overruns an experimental power station after being accidentally created. Anyone killed by the thing can be restored to life with electronically-controlled pacemakers and are made to service the "being" by a fanatical scientist who pretends to be looking for a way to destroy it.

We have a sound clip from this episode for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button located there by our lint bunny monster, NOW, Ralphie The Tarantula!.. Here's... IT CRAWLED OUT OF THE WOODWORK!

Here's where the problem starts, located near to where I first lived in LA. Hell, I even had to live through the Northridge Earthquake after that!.. Get me outta here!!

Here's Michael Forest as Professor Peters who's applying for a job at Norco, Kent Smith plays the head of the facility, Dr. Bloch. Michael was in these Roger Corman flicks... VIKING WOMEN AND THE SEA SERPENT, BEAST FROM HAUNTED CAVE, SKI TROOP ATTACK and ATLAS.

Peters is introduced to Professor Linden, played by Joan Camden, who wears a strange looking pacemaker...

She tells Peters to go into a long corridor, then closes the door behind him and sics the terrifying energy monster on him!.. I want my BANKIE!!

Peters shows up at his apartment and his brother, played by Scott Marlowe, wants to know where the Hell he's been. After a scuffle, big bro ends up falling into the bathtub and gets electrocuted big time because of his pacemaker!

Ed Asner is Detective Sgt. Siroleo, he has some questions about the disappearances of a number of people who worked at the facility. He gets more than he bargains for though...

The thing gets loose from its room and goes on a tear inside the building. After destroying a bunch of junk and killing another person, it goes back to its room and is contained again.

Do you have enough guts to take another look inside the thing's rubber room?!

It just keeps on regurgitating its victims for a real horror show!!.. We're back on Wednesday with more from the Dungeon Pit of Terror!