J-MEN FOREVER / A Proctor & Bergman Film - 1979

We have a comedy classic from two of the brains behind Firesign Theatre, Phil Proctor and the late great, Peter Bergman, heroes to the Dungeon. We had every Firesign Theatre album from the beginning, we used to sit around and crack up to the little weird worlds they created in our minds, especially when we closed our eyes! Then, Cheech and Chong came along, appealing to the total base side of humor, we definitely preferred the thinking man's approach to comedy. The storyline for J-Men is simple... The Lightning Bug, ruler of the Moon, plans on enslaving the Earth with rock and roll music and marijuana! This used to play frequently on Night Flight back in the late eighties.

I swear, Joel Hodgson gives a shout out to J-Men in one of his very first MST programs, he quotes an exact line about the robots when he was watching the same scene used by J-Men from the UNDERSEA KINGDOM serial! I'm pretty sure this thing was the spark for MST...

Eegah!! sent over a cool lil' soundclip from this movie for our enjoyment, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button there next to the atomic powered weed whacker, NOW, Ralphie The Tarantula! Here's our audio offering for... J-MEN FOREVER!

Peter had the deep voice of authority.

One of my top 10 lines of all time is from Rocky Rococo... Rocky Rococo at your cervix!

It's all those guys verses...

...This guy here, The Lightning Bug! He has many faces, including the Crimson Ghost, and really bugs the good guys! They cut characters and scenes from a number of old serials and added the shots with Peter and Phil.

The good guys get their record inventory decimated! We got to make some fake newspaper headlines in our flick, THE CREEP.

The bad guys have a teriffic assortment of death devices!

This still is very interesting to me.

The whiny little girl voiceover they do for Leonard Nimoy here is a real crack up!

J-Man Barton gets the last word ~ J-Men... Forever!!..

GIRL ON THE RUN - "Gorgeous Girls In The Hottest Burlesque Your Eyes Have Ever Seen" - Rose Tree Productions (1953)

Tonight's very special Saturday night feature was made in 1953, and is a carnival tale titled "Girl On The Run!" Have you ever been to a real carnival? Well, then you know what to expect!!!

"Girl On The Run" is just one of the six movies on Something Weird's two disc release called  "Weird-Noir Six B-Movies." I'm just not sure these films rate as high as a B though, but then grading is always a subjective thing that lies in the eye of the beholder! Whatever they are, they definitely got the weird part right!

"The "Palace Of Beauty" keeps 'em coming back for more! Hey Pops, don't have a heart attack!

These are some healthy gals, and I mean that in a good way! The reason they have masques on is because they all do double duty in the International Dance Revue as Frenchie, The Hawaiian dancer, Jitterbug, etc.

"Girl On The Run" has got two major things going on for it, and number one is that it's got Steve McQueen in a very small bit part as a carnival goer, in his very first acting job! That is worth the price of admission right there!

Number two is that the guy who runs the whole show is Charles Bolender, a dwarf version of George Clooney! I don't know why Charles didn't get top billing, I guess it was just because he was a little guy!

The "Palace Of Beauty" sports a fine array of international cuties from all around the globe.......

............And all that bumping and grinding just drives the guys crazy!!!! They eat that shit up!!

The girlie show is pretty clean, but the movie itself is full of dirty cops and politicians!

There's always gotta be that one mysterious dame!

So the girl's on the run, where's she going to hide, but in plain sight?

In most states you can get a fairly hefty ticket for having an unreadable license plate because it's covered in mud!

The dancer who gets the most on screen time is Rene De Milo as the Frenchie Gigi! Amazingly, this would be Rene's only ever on screen performance! Quite unbelievable!

Little George, I mean Charles, just sits back and takes it all in!! "Weird-Noir" can be found on Amazon for as little as $11.48! It's a real no brainer!!

KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS / Arachnid Productions Ltd. - 1977

It's the last day in May 2013 with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. We gots a flick that was filmed in Camp Verde, Arizona with a cost of $500,000 that grossed $17,000,000 just in the US! It stars The Shat in a popular movie trend of the time, spiders and insects gone mad! Here are a few other titles from that time warp... THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION, ANTS, BUG, EMPIRE OF THE ANTS, THE SWARM, THE NEST and DAMNATION ALLEY... Nice Mexican lobby card!

Eegah!! sent over a soundclip of the theme song sung by Dorsey Burnette, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button there by the giant spider web, NOW, Rufus The Gnat! Here's our audio offering for... KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS!

Here's Bill ten years after STAR TREK as cowboy veterinarian, Dr. Robert 'Rack' Hansen. He played a lot of pool as a teenager, when his brother won the game (which was always), it was his job to "rack" up the balls. Here, he's investigating the mysterious death of a neighbor's calf.

Enter love interest Tiffany Bolling as scientist Dr. Diane Ashley, she's getting all cleaned up after arriving in Arizona to do some research. Ironically for this post, Tiffany played the Spider Lady in ELECTRA WOMAN AND DYNA GIRL.

Okay, things are starting to get a little weird around here!..

This crop duster was on its way to kill some spiders with DDT, but, the pilot forgot to check for tarantulas before he took off! When I was a kid I got to see plenty of up-close crop dusting at my cousin's house in the country.

You might want to think twice about moving to Arizona, you know, if you were.

This poor old dude never woke up from his nap!

It's a damn shame when you have to kill a bunch of living creatures for "realism" purposes, that's one thing that really bugs the Hell out of us, here at The Dungeon!

What the?!!..

One of the more interesting parts is where this junker Ford takes out a support beam of the water tower while driving like a maniac trying to get away from the tarantulas! That cop car gets crushed real good.

As we can all see, things don't turn out too well for the people of Camp Verde, looks like Camp Blanco, tarantulas win this one!

INFERNO PER POCHI DOLLARI - Egisto Macchi -"LSD FLesh Of The Devil" (1967)

Well, since this month has been chock full of psycho-delicacies, I thought I'd wrap it up with a hit of "L.S.D.," so set your psyber feelers on 13, and let's a-go-go!

Literally translated it's "Hell For A Few Dollars," or a few dollars more! It was also released as "LSD Flesh Of Devil!" The soundtrack was composed by Egisto Macchi, and the theme song was written by Tamponi and Marchett, and sung by Nicola Di Bari!!

Okay, so that's a hallucination I can deal with!!

Granted this is not the best copy of a movie in the world, but when the sub-titles are in Greek or whatever this is, it makes you realize how lucky you are to see a movie like this at all!

"Inferno Per Pochi Dollari" is not a drug laced hippie movie, but instead it's a spy thriller about some guys poised to take over the world by dosing important places internationally with L.S.D.

This is how guys in The Army act when they are slipped some L.S.D!!!

Since there were no cell phones back in 1967, any self-respecting spy would go ahead and get a communications device implanted in his neck! When it comes to saving the world, there are no boundaries!!

Looking cool and suave, Guy madison is Rex Miller!! Guy Madison was born in the little burg of Pumpkin Center, California,  just outside of Bakersfield, that I just drove through a couple of days ago and remarked how it hadn't changed in some 50 odd years, except that the remaining business names are all now in Spanish! Today, you'd be hard pressed to find anybody there that has even ever heard of Guy Madison!

Guy thinks out loud, "OMG, what have I got myself into?"

Long since gone, manly man Guy will always be remembered for his leading role in "The Beast Of Hollow Mountain," and for starring in 112 episodes of  "Adventures Of Wild Bill Hickock" from 1951 to 1958!  When things slowed down for Guy in Hollywood, he went to Italy, and made weird movies like this one and "The Devil's Man!" The non-existent pseudo-character created by Jerry Warren for his movie "Man-Beast" named Rock Madison, was formed from a combination of the names of Rock Hudson and Guy Madison!

The bad guys test out the effects of the L.S.D. on their own girl, and this is the results!!!

Weird ass hallucinations!!

When you're on acid, everything looks groovier through a kaleidoscope! Like, Wow!!

"Put your right leg in, put your right leg out, put your right leg in, and shake it all about, you do the Hokey Pokey, and you turn yourself all around, that's what it's all about!"

No bad guy involved with drugs like L.S.D. would make it on the street without a decent pair of shades!

"Inferno Per Pochhi Dollari" was graciously donated to the cause by Brian Horrowitz over at
"The Trash Palace!" Now I've got to see if I can track down a copy of "The Devil's Man" somehow!!