THE HUMAN MONSTER / Monogram Pictures - 1940

Also known as THE DARK EYES OF LONDON, this story by Edgar (KING KONG) Wallace is exceptional, especially as far as maniacal villains go! Also considered one of Bela's best acting jobs, he plays a dual role as Dr. Feodor Orloff, a murdering, lecherous insurance salesman, and then the kindly leader of a home for the blind, Prof. John Dearborn. Bela filmed this one in England, with British writers and director, helping make it a minor classic that still has the ability to creep you out, even today!! Great poster, too!

Welcome everbloody, to another Wednesday Oldie Moldie B+W Bijou Flicktime Theater posting, here at the Dungeon, with big wood monster dude host ~ Tabonga!

Original music is by Irish Guy Jones, who has a total of 11 composing credits including the other British productions LITTLE DOLLY DAYDREAM, LITTLE MISS MOLLY, CHAMBER OF HORRORS, THE FARMER'S WIFE, THE PATIENT VANISHES and SUSPECTED PERSON!

Okay, Tabonga pet gnat, Piff, say shaddup and get el showo rolloing alongo... So, wonst again, Piff getting long flying start from across the buttress, toward big red 'GO' button... Closer... Ever closer... An' closer yet!.. Finally, almost... Then... BAM-CRASH-POW-BOOM!! Here's tudae's Eariffic Earclip... THE HUMAN MONSTER!!

You'd better know the club password, or big blind Jake might just strangle your ass... err, throat! Jake, played by Wilfred Walter, was appearing on Brit TV way back in 19 freakin' 38!!!

Here is Bela as Professor Dearborn, recipient of insurance claims made in his behalf, cleverly crafted by his alter ego and person, insurance blackmailer and salesman, Dr. Orloff... Simple, no?!

Victims, the insurance clients of Dr. Orloff, are showing up dead, so the police are a little suspicious of him and his motives.

People that know things keep on dieing, Orloff knows where they live!.. And, bathe!!! Good thing Jake's blind, this time he has to 'deep six' some old fart inna bathtub!.. Who's nakkid!!..

Greta Gynt plays Diana, her dad's there, she gets a job as a helper at the home. Jake creeps her out!

That's some fashion statement she's got on there!

Diana finds a clue to the mysteries and confronts the 'blind' Professor Dearborn.

He rips his disguise off... And, guess what?

Whoa, time out for the gratuitous bondage scene!

Ready for this??.. Right in front of her, he throws her handicapped father into the river from the 6th story!!

Jake can't 'feel' Diana's father, who he faithfully cares for. He goes bonkers and attacks Bela.

Even though Jake is shot and left for dead, he recovers enough to deal the final blow!! Master defeated by his monster, once again!

At the end, Jake throws Bela into the deadly slag pond. How fitting, slime begat slime!!

WE LOVE EDGAR WALLACE!!!..

SPACE PATROL #02 - Lew Spence - "The Race For Radurium" (1951)

So try this one on, it's 1951, World War II just got over, and your neighbor was one of them lucky families that got a TV, so you go over to spend the night with your best pal, and "Space Patrol" comes on the toob, and it's one of the most far-out futuristic, scientific things you have ever seen in your short life, and so you sit there in awe and rapture for 30 minutes as you're transported to a future you've never even dreamed of! Tonight's feature is the second of some some 157 episodes, entitled the extra super scary "The Race for Radurium" where Cadet Happy gets afflicted by a mega dangerous cosmic ray!!

Ed Kemmer as Commander Buzz Corry and Lyn Osborn as Cadet Happy are here to take you on at least 4 years of adventures!! It's no big secret how Happy got his name!!

Oh, Man, Cadet Happy touched that wire and got burned by the mighty cosmic ray, a mysterious concept covered on many levels before, and he ain't lookin' too happy right here!!

Besides being Tonga for 154 episodes of "Space Patrol," Nina Bara has the distinct honour of starting her career in "The Mummy's Curse" and ending it in "Missile To The Moon!" In The Dungeon, it doesn't get much better than that!!

We're talkin' speaker phone 1951, not just some hole cut in a cardboard box!! Don't matter, Tonga's lookin' good, and I can't quite figger out why her and Tabonga never got together!

Side story line includes bad guy Crane Whitley as the mad fugitive Kessler (but not a bad whiskey!) Crane Whitley had a career that went back all the way to 1938 and included titles like "The Invisible Man Returns" and "Spy Smasher!"

Time to put that Kessler on the rocks!!! Dude was out of control!!

Tonga's got that Radurium Glove all ready to go just in time to save Happy's life!

Dirty Ratzafratz!! Lyn Osborn left this planet way too soon, but in the short amount of time that he was here, he managed to get in all 157 episodes of "Space Patrol" and roles in the classics, "Invasion Of The Saucer Men," "The Amazing Colossal Man," and "The Cosmic Man!"

Lew Spence was the fellow working in the Music Department, but there really wasn't a whole lot of music going on, more just rocketship white noise that I'm sure fans of Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music," and the space in between the cuts on any Mile Davis LP will enjoy! Oh, Yeah, some things don't change, "Buy Bonds!" or the whole dream's going in the crapper!

There's only like 6 people in any given story, but as a lad, it never dawned on me that the rest of civilization as we know it had been most likely DEE-stroyed, and I wouldn't even be here today to write this! Here Kessler gets the jump on Happy!

There's no way we're going to attempt to tackle all 157 episodes of "Space Patrol" here, but there will be a few more in the future for your enjoyment, but besides this, there's also the UK marionette version, and we've still got to go back and cover the German version, "Raumpatrouille" in proper style, with better sound and pictures, and none of it would be possible without some generous donations from Professor Grewbeard, thank-you very much, that cat just rocks!!

At the end of this adventurous tale, Happy turns the tables, and gets the jump on Dopey Kessler using the Radurium Glove to his complete advantage, by conking Kessler on the noggin for the amazing tie-in of the two stories!

DEADTIME STORIES / Scary Stuff - 1986

Hello everbloody, welcome to Saturday Matinee at the Dungeon. Rodan here, filling in for Tabonga, as he needs the day off to go soak his head.. err, roots. This movie is soooo lo-budge, late eighties! Gross, inconsistant, 'those colors' and gratitious nudity, including a fun shower scene. Produced by Scary Stuff and shot in Greenwich, Connecticut, it has an east coast feel, for sure. The actors look like they're from Connecticut! The poster screams 1986 too, looks like some early example of computerized graphics.

Uncle Mike is substituting for Peter's parents tonight, he doesn't have any kids of his own. It's bedtime, and, his nephew's having trouble falling asleep...

SOOOOO......

Original music's by Larry Juris, he worked on a total of 8 movies including THE EROTIC WORLD OF ANGEL CASH, COMMANDER USA's GROOVIE MOVIES, REJUVENATRIX, UNDERGROUND and VOODOO DAWN.

I love this soundclip, it has some cool rockin' New Wave sounds, one good thing from the late eighties!! Then, it's like all hell breaks loose and won't stop!! Way to go, Eegah!! So, on with the show, here's some... DEADTIME STORIES!

The first story's called "Peter And The Witches."

Get this, the girls burn this guy's wrist with a torch and the hand gets big, breaks off and crawls away! Now, c'mon... That's weird!!

I don't think this is going to help Peter fall asleep, what do you think?

Then, you take this yetch here, in the bowl, and let it crawl into a skeleton!!

Gettin' sleepy yet, Peter?!

Eventually, it turns into this sadistic bastard and kills a bunch of people! After it melts in a cave, it comes back to life and chokes the boy and girl who thought they got away!

Okay, Peter still can't go to sleep, so, Uncle Mike starts story two. Check out the classy way you tell kids a bedtime story in 1986!.... "Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Rachel. Actually, she wasn't all that little, she was a hot-looking high school senior with deep blue eyes, and fine, firm breasts, and..." The film actually does have three very nice looking women in it!

Rachel likes to fantasize in the mirror!

This segment is called "Runninghood," obviously a twisted take off on Little Red Riding Hood!

Uncle Mike just can't figure out why Peter won't saw some logs!

Story three is a comedy called "Goldi Lox and the Three Baers." It starts at the Home For The Hopelessly Insane, what else?!

Three inmates, Papa, Mama and Baby Baer, make their escape in a white '62 Chevy Biscayne sedan after running down a security cop!! Now, they need a place to hole up!

Back at the ranch, Goldi makes a nasty habit of putting men in their place!!

As she watches the evening news about the escaped mental patients, the guys get into a fist fight!

My favorite part, Goldi welcomes them in and they don't know what to make of her hospitality, they all saw her naked as a jay bird! The second still is a hoot!!

Goodnight sweet prince, sleep tight, and don't let the bed-bugs... BITE!!!