DIE TOTEN AUGEN VON LONDON - Heinz Funk - "Welcome to Wallaceland" (1961)

Here's a thought you can ponder for a whole year or more! What if Edgar Wallace was Walt Disney? Just close your eyes,(not because of a gunshot wound), and try to imagine an Edgar Wallace Theme Park, "Wallaceland!"(Obviously not Wally World!) Of course the major attraction would be King Kong Land! Main Street would be Soho, and there'd be characters running around with names like Squeaker, The Frog, The Shark, and the White Spider!

The park would only be open at night, and Klaus Kinski would be Tommy Kirk...

and Joachim Fuchsberger would be Dick Van Dyke!!

What a freakin' happy place, instead of It's a Small World, we'd have Room 13, with a skull that dispenses cigarettes......

....and don't ever forget about all those blind guys running around like the seven dwarfs, which brings us right up to tonight's feature, "Die Toten Augen Von London" or auf Englisch, "The Dead Eyes Of London" aka over the years as "The Human Monster," "The Dark Eyes Of London," and "Der Gorilla Von Soho!" It's almost like the "Louie Louie" of mid-century Euro trash, and that ain't zu schlecht!!!

Ady Berber as Blind Jack was a professional wrassler in the 40's and 50's!!! Imagine that!!

Can you believe the lengths they went to to get this shot? They either had to put a camera in the guy's mouth or drill a hole in the back of his head! Amazing!!!

If a totally blind guy, that moves slower than a robot on heroin, sneaks into your house and hides behind the curtains, after breaking the only lightbulb in the house with his bare hands, and you don't notice, then you probably deserve what's coming to you, no matter how freakin' intelligent you are!!!

I totally dig how the blind guys have a big stash of rocks on shelves to use as weights to send their victims down the big slide into the river!

Hey, at least they try to make dying fun!! Wheeee, Splash!!!

Klaus, loosen up! No, Man, you don't look suspicious!!

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!!!

You can give a big fistful of credit to cinematographer Karl Löb for the look on so many these films, another true visonary!!!

I've told you before I love a cool stairwell shot, just don't stop to admire it, because no telling what's hiding in those shadows!!

First the dude falls down to elevator shaft, but he catches himself, only to be first, burnt on one hand with a cigarette, and then this finger stompin' treatment!

Dieter Borsche has a career credits longer than a soup line, heading all the way back to 1935, here as Reverend Paul Dearborn, the big cheese in charge of the home to all the blind mice!!

They didn't need Blind Jack's services any longer!!

Somehow Joachim Fuchsberger can deliver his lines, even with his fingers in his mouth! Oh, Hell, that's right, this film is dubbed into English!!

Surprise! Klaus is bad, but he's not even the evilest guy in this movie! That honour changes about 3 or 4 times!

When you get thrown out a window, and if you happen to possibly live, this is basically what you're going to see!!!

The music by Heinz Funk is all that and more! This cat might just be able to lay down legitimate claims to the name Funky! The theme to this movie is.......You know what, you're just gonna have to listen to it yourself!!! Heinz kept very busy after this movie on TV, and did the music for both German TV shows "Hafenpolizei" and "Polizeifunk Ruft" from 1963 to 1970!!

We dig anything and everything attached to Edgar Wallace. I don't know what it is, but this quality of writing, combined with the equal talents of the players and the musicians of the time adds up to absolute perfection! This is Karin Baal as Nora who was still doing TV as of last year!!

Whoops! Guess I'm not getting out this way!!

Time to break out the flamethrower!!!

Aw, Jeez Nora, go on and tell 'em what they want to know already!!

Here's the basic rule, old diabolical farts aren't so tough if they can't cheat!!

And just to prove that there is hope and salvation, you can download this film for free at the Internet Archive! (Link on the sidebar) Most of the rest of the Edgar Wallace catalogue is going to be more difficult to come by, unless you live in Europe, but there is new hope on the horizon with Sinister Video now offering a number of Wallace titles via their own site or Amazon! Unless there's something fishy going on, this should prove to be a Godsend of immaculate perception!!!

THE ASTRAL FACTOR aka INVISIBLE STRANGLER - 1976/1984

Welcome everbloody to the Dungeon, and Tabonga' first post of 2010! Today we have flick filmed in 1976, then released in 1984 with added music!

Oh yeah, an' welcome to California, too... Have fun!

Wha' choo'all lookin' at, fool?!!

Anything I want, jackass!!

SEE?!..

Tagline sez: A Criminally Insane Murderer Escapes From The Institution -- By Becoming Invisible!

Wow, Eegah!! sure give us a super-soundclip for this posting, one of his best!

Original music by Bill Marx, music added in 1984 by Richard Hieronymus and Alan Oldfield. Bill Marx have a total of 10 composing credit and include COUNT YORGA, VAMPIRE, RETURN OF COUNT YORGA, DEATHMASTER, TERROR HOUSE and SCREAM, BLACULA, SCREAM! Richard Hieronymus work on ANGELS DIE HARD, THE LOVE BUTCHER, SWEATER GIRLS, TEEN LUST, GARAGE GIRLS, AUNT PEG'S FULFILLMENT, etc. And, Alan Oldfield work on DOGS, KING KUNG FU and DEEP SPACE.

So, let's roll the soundclip! Here's Ralphie the Tarantula to do the honors, press that big red 'GO' button to start a new year, here at the Dungeon!.. UP YOUR ASTRAL FACTOR!

Whoa!.. Other kind of astral factor!!

Nice soothing bath interrupted by trip to morgue!.. All these guy show up because they hear on radio that she naked!!

Who remember this dude besides Tabonga? Kind of poor man' Toody. Nice calendar!

You can see for self that something not quite right with fingerprint on left!

For Tabonga, this flick is dated time capsule with classic mid-seventies status quo imagery! Story is freakin' ridiculous, too!

Here is Elke Sommers entertaining Robert Foxworth in latest poolside attire! Notice that Robert having a smoke while he taking it all in. He one foxy cat!

To break up monotany, flick include wild an' freaky dance number at local LA dance theater!

Believe it or not, choreographer not gay!

As a bump, Robert get to order his lunch at popular new fast food joint at the time, so, they film it!!

When you have hot gurlfiend like Stephanie Powers and she run around in just mini-fur an' nuthin' else, well, expect plenty of cheap TV dinner!! Robert already know, that why he eat at Der Weinerschnitzel first!

For budget flick, sure look cheap at times!

Hmmm, I wonder what this came off of?!

No, you not hallucinating, that Stephanie Powers' ass! And, Tabonga not even show the good shots!!

Okay, okay, even if this is only as good as Stephanie can make coffee, who cares?!

Robert go to psychic research center to find out about the psychic scene. Guy at bottom right is moving ball around with mind!

Funny part as Robert stop moving 'hypnotic eye' machine because it stealing the scene!!

Elke strum and sing a popular folk song with artsy-fartsy camera composition...

Back at dance theater, they working on new Banana Splits number!

Cool it, you idiots! She's dead!!

At murder scene on yacht, guys find lots of loose change on rug!

Check it out, Ford Courier GTE service truck!! Tabonga used to have POS Ford Courier and all Tabonga can say is... 'ef'fing timing chain tensioner!'

Boobs and booze, always the perfect combo!

Better be careful, Invisible Strangler can pop up anywhere, any time, any how!.. But, why try to explain to this dude?

Robert have hunch that sub machine gun might be answer to problem!..

And, WTF!.. He right?!.. Go figure!

Whoa, wha'!

Goodbye jerk, we not gonna miss you!!

We end this interesting post with classic seventies 'gurlfiend in nightie' pose! The way we lik'em here at the Dungeon!!