SE TUTTE LE DONNE DEL MONDO... (OPERAZIONE PARADISO) - "Kiss The Girls And Make Them Die" (1966)

This is an especially cool Saturday Night Special because this movie is whack, almost as whack as this poster!

"Kiss The Girls And Make Them Die" is a Dino De Laurentiis Production, so even though it's a quasi-comedy, it's still serious!

Talk about serious, how much do you think it cost to be able to film at the site of one the world's most famous landmarks, the Christ the Redeemer statue high above Rio de Janeiro that was created in 1932?

Mike (Mannix) Connors is a C.I.A. agent named Kelly! In some movies like "Voodoo Woman," Mike was credited as Touch Connors. Born in Fresno, California, Mike just passed away a few years ago at the age of 91.

 

I got acrophobia just from watching this, and this was just the opening sequence!

The rest of the movie is filled with beautiful women because the perverted freak who wants to take over the world needs them. He has a plan to make the whole world sterile, and then re-populate it with a bunch of women impregnated by himself! This dude is a real pig!

One by one, a bevy of beauties just keep disappearing! 

Then Dorothy (The Roaring 20's) Provine shows up as Susan Fleming and steals the show!

Raf (The Godfather: Part III) Vallone is the dirty dog creepmeister Mr. Ardonian, and he's really good at it!

Ardonian has hidden cameras all over the place so he can monitor his girls without their knowledge! The list of the gorgeous gals includes names like Margaret Lee, Nicholetta Machiavelli, Marilù Tolo, Seyna Seyn, and Beverly Adams,

Shake it, don't break it!

Rich and famous.............................

..................Mr. Ardonian..................

..................Is a bonifide creepy-ass nut case!

In the meantime, Agent Kelly is outfoxing Ardonian at every turn!

Luckily Kelly likes bananas, because along with cigarettes, they are basically his whole diet!

 

Great shot of Terry-Thomas, Mike Connors, and Dorothy Provine! One thing I really enjoyed about this film was that even though it's an adventure/comedy, they gave Terry-Thomas a fairly straight role for a change. The character he plays is still odd, but not totally obnoxious and stupid like he is so often cast!

Ardonian has all the girls preserved in these tubes, and on hold until he needs them!

Looking back, I'd say "Kiss The Girls And Make Them Die" is no James Bond film by any means, but it really isn't half bad either. I got this film from Cult Action years ago, who I just found out is no longer in business, so after I'm done here, I'll have to remove their link, since it, just like a lot of the characters in this movie, is dead, but at least you can still watch the trailer if you want to, at the 

Internet Archive.

AGENTE 077 DALLl'ORIENTE CON FURORE - "From The Orient With Fury" (1965)

Dick Malloy is back in tonight's Secret Agent Saturday Night Special called "Agente 077 Dall'oriente Con Furore." 

Just one of the English titles is "From The Orient With Fury," but it was also released as "Mission Istanbul," "Fury In Instanbul," and "Operation Istanbul."

If you think it's just a cheap Italian James Bond ripoff, then the Greek title, "James Bond 077" is probably not going to do much to change your mind, and yes, it is a smoking gun of a film!

Essentially, this film has agent Dick Malloy being pursued by not Three, but The Five Stooges."

Over and over in all kinds of interesting places, Dick Malloy has to fight these jerks! Dick is so good, he can put a headlock on a guy, and talk on the phone at the same time!

Kenneth Donovan Clark once again has the role of  Dick Malloy, in a followup to "Mission Bloody Mary" made the same year!

Before Ken Clark moved to Italy to make westerns and sword and sandal movies, he had a stellar career in the U.S. in movies like "Attack Of The Giant Leeches," and "12 To The Moon."

There are almost as many beautiful women in this film as there are Stooges, and forgive me if I get any of them mixed up! On the left is Evi (Planet Of The Vampires) Marandi as the daughter of the Professor who has created a super ray gun that everybody's after, and on the right is Fabienne (Kill, Baby...Kill!) Dali. Maybe being gorgeous is good for your health since both Evi and Fabienne are still alive!

I love this shot panning past the guitar players and Dick Malloy down to Mikaela as Dolores Lopez!

These guys get their asses kicked so many times, and the one on the left chewing gum deserves it the most!

Time to get out of those wet clothes after getting caught in a rain storm, and into a sexy bathrobe for Dick Malloy, and a towel for Dolores!

Once again, proving that these guys are a bunch of rocket surgeons, this one hides behind a rod iron fence for protection!

To further prove my point, four or five of these bozos ride around in this clown car when they're chasing Dick!

No it's not the 4-D Woman, it's just Dick handing his new partner a towel!

Margaret (Psycho-Circus, Venus In Furs) Lee is Evelyn Stone, Dick's newly assigned gal-pal partner.

Dick goes to this fool's pad for some information, but he's in league with the stooges, so when he tells Dick to leave via the backdoor, Dick realizes it's just another stupid trap!

Not laughing out loud funny, but a lot of this film has to be considered a comedy!

I lost count! I think there are only three stooges left at this point!

The Professor demonstrates his lethal weapon to Goldwyn, the boss of the stooges!

The big bad cheese is played by Franco (Mr. Superinvisible, Star Odyssey, War Between The Planets) Ressel.

Gum Boy gets what's coming to him, a big handful of electricity handed to him by the Professor and his daughter!

Goldwyn finally gets his grimy mitts on the weapon he always wanted, and then proceeds to totally lose his shit, and tries to shoot up everything in sight, before being turned into a shish kabob by big Dick Malloy!

I don't think this English alternative title flew very far, because I'm sure that most people in the U.S. like me, have no clue what a freakin' Bosphorus is, even though it's a very important part of the world's geography! Just for the record, the Bosphorus is a body of water also known as The Strait of Istanbul that is in Northwestern Turkey. It is part of of the continental boundary between Europe and Asia. Now you know!

CHARLIE CHAN AT MONTE CARLO - "Waffles" (1937)

 Tis my pleasure to present tonight's classic film from good ole 1937,

"Charlie Chan At Monte Carlo."

I don't know about you, but I sure would like to know what those 11 big prizes were!

 Charlie Chan movies are like comfort food! You're not going to get gloss or gore or even much action, but what you will get is a good intriguing mystery with a lot of cool one line zingers from Charlie!

 At one point or another, Charlie Chan and his son showed up in almost every exotic place in the world! The location this go round was the gambling mecca of Monte Carlo!

 This movie is hilarious! Charlie's son Lee doesn't have that good of a handle on the French language and lands them in jail for what he says!

 The women of "Charlie Chan At Monte Carlo" are gorgeous and oh so much more!

Born Margaret Cynthia St John Field, Virginia (Rockabilly Baby, The Earth Dies Screaming) Fields' Mother was a cousin to Confederate General Robert E. Lee, and supposedly she chose the name Virginia as an homage to his home state!

 Okay, are you ready for this one? (I doubt it!) 

Kay Linaker from Pine Bluff, Arkansas was not only beautiful, she was also one of the screenplay writers for the "The Blob" under the name of Kay Phillips. She got paid $150.00 according to IMDB.  Kay lived to be 94, and I think that just proves how healthy an active imagination is!

 A small missing gem from a woman's high heel shoe gives Charlie Chan all kinds of info!

 Nice shot of the power trio, Charlie and Lee Chan, and Harold Huber as Inspector Jules Joubert!

Damn, Harold Huber only made in to the age of 49, after dying during some failed surgery!

 Somebody lights a fire to destroy some evidence and nobody cops to it!

 This guy looks pretty suspicious to me!

 This is my favorite part of "Charlie Chan At Monte Carlo!" Charlie and son Lee are at a French restaurant, and after Lee's last translation, Charlie's a little weary of letting him order for him!

 I speak almost zero French, but "Poissons" just doesn't look that delectable to me!

 Charlie just wants some waffles, but lee doesn't know how to say waffles in French, so Charlie decides to draw a picture on the back of the menu!

 As they say, a picture speaks a million words, and the waiter finally gets it! 

Oh, Waf'fells', oh sure, Qui Qui!

 And then he brings Charlie this crossword puzzle book!

I'm still laughing, and that's the kind of crap that makes these Charlie Chan movies so worth watching!

 It sure looks like they got Edgar Allen Poe to play The Gendarmerie in the background!

 Nice Ensemble shot to view the final smashing ending!

Wow! And the thought the ending we wrote for "The Creep" was original! 

At least we used an ice cream truck!