7 DONNE D'ORO CONTRO DUE 07 - Vincenzo Cascino - "You Are My Gold" (1966)

 Well, I'm just going to come right out and say it! Tonight's feature is a stupid movie! I bought it! I committed to watching it, and I'm sorry! It doesn't help much that a tempered glass shower door just exploded into thousands of pieces in my hands a few hours ago. Either way, I don't say this often, but I really thought this movie sucked!  With seven golden women in it, you'd think that was a good thing, but it wasn't!

"7 Golden Women Vs. Two 07,"  catchy title almost! 
 So let me just wade through this, and then I can get back to picking the glass shards out of my hands! Welcome to Wagon Wheel Wednesday, and tonight's feature straight out of Italy, and starring Jayne Mansfield's husband, Mr. Universe 1955 Mickey Hargitay! Mickey's role is so important in this movie, I didn't even use a still with him in it, but that's him in the poster with the gun!

Everybody, and I mean everybody, wants to get their hands on this Goya painting that once belonged to Hitler for some reason!

It would probably have been a lot more threatening if she actually had her finger on the trigger!

Maria Vincent as Marie Dupont offers up a smokin' number that was most likely composed by Felice (Go With God, Gringo) Di Stefano and Italo (The Labyrinth Of Sex) Fischetti!!

I thought this was an interesting shot, a scuffle, and a woman smoking like she doesn't even know the guys are there!

That's the basic premise! The vendor is selling copies of the painting to spies from all over the place, and supposedly the original painting has information on it that leads to treasure! So what happens next? All the spies start stealing from each other!

I have to admit that snorkeling and smoking a pipe at the same time is a novel idea!

Beats the Hell out of me!!

You girls can get a lot better look at this painting if you strip down to your bikinis!

Oh, it all makes sense now!

 

"AAAAaahhh!!!!!!!"

I don't think he's pondering gorillas!

And the band played on!

Isn't knowing without details the same as not knowing?

Alternate title: "The Armenian and the American Vs. Miranda and Maria!" The preponderance of M's in this movie almost seems planned! I'm not some kind of conspiracy theorist but something weird is going on here! Not only is there Miranda and Maria, there's Mickey, Mark, Maruska, Mendes, Mariani, Marinelli, and more!

Indeed! What kind of modern math is she doing?
Mickey Hargitay may have been the star, but the man truly responsible for this film is Vincenzo Cascino as Barbikian. I like to call him BBQ for short! Vincenzo also wrote, directed, and produced this film, the same as he did with a couple of other titles in the 60's like "Sheriff Won't Shoot!"

Towards the end the vendor claims that he was the one who painted all the forgeries, and he is the only one who knows why the painting was special, because he himself is the man who was Hitler's private secretary, Martin Bormann!

The women all get sprayed with gold paint, hence the title! Pretty hilarious, you bet! Yuk, yuk!!

THE MUMMY / Karloff The Uncanny... In His Most Startling Role! - 1932

Looks like it's Mummy Fever, here, at The Dungeon! In today's classic Universal tale, in 1921, a field expedition in Egypt discovers the mummy of ancient Egyptian Prince Im-Ho-Tep, who was condemned and buried alive for sacrilege. Also found in the tomb is the Scroll of Thoth, which can bring the dead back to life! One dark night, a member of the expedition reads the Scroll out loud, and then goes insane, realizing that he has brought Im-Ho-Tep back to life. Ten years later, disguised as a modern Egyptian, the mummy attempts to reunite with his lost love, an ancient princess who has been reincarnated into a beautiful young woman.

It stars Boris (TARGETS) Karloff, Zita (RAIDERS OF THE LIVING DEAD - 1986!) Johann, David (THE BLACK CAT) Manners, Arthur (THE MAN WITH TWO FACES) Byron, Edward (DRACULA) Van Sloan and Bramwell (THE MONKEY'S PAW) Fletcher.

So, in 1921, a British expedition team uncover the mummy of ancient Egyptian Prince Im-Ho-Tep and a chest containing Scroll of Thoth. After knucklehead reads the scroll, well, he unwittingly brings the mummy back to life! Of course, he goes mad after he realizes what he has done... When I saw this in the late fifties on TV, this is the part I remember most.

Then, in 1932, Imhotep mysteriously shows up in England with a tip as to where a lost tomb is located, so, it's back to Egypt...

After a treasure of artifacts is found, the pieces are brought back to England and are added to the museum's displays. Then, Imhotep seeks out Helen Grosvenor who he claims is his lover from the past. In a mystical pool, he shows her the events leading him to be reborn.

What happens is not pretty, being buried alive and all.

Here's a very cool shot of the evil Imhotep!

He wants to kill Helen and then revive her by reading the scroll out loud, making her immortal.

He's ready to commit the act when something seems amiss, so, he stops.

Helen pleads to the Egyptian Goddess Mut to save herself from the out of control Imhotep...

The statue comes to life and shoots a bolt of light from her talisman...

The scroll starts burning, and, Imhotep starts to deteriorate in front of our eyes.

Helen's saved by her beau just as...

The scroll burns up and Imhotep becomes just another skeleton, bringing our tale to an end. Join us again on Wednesday when Eegah!! will have another wild 'n' weird post for us!

THE OUTER LIMITS / "The Premonition" - 1965

In today's Outer Limits episode, a test pilot crashes in his experimental X-15 rocket plane and discovers that him and his wife are in a reality where time has slowed down to nearly a standstill. Returning to the airbase, the two are horrified to see their daughter on a tricycle in the path of a moving truck, and seem to be unable to prevent her death...

This one stars Dewey (THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD, LAND OF THE PHARAOHS) Martin, Mary (WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE, THE ATOMIC CITY) Murphy, Emma (GREEN ACRES, FAMILY AFFAIR) Tyson, William (THE AQUANAUTS, WEST SIDE STORY) Bramley and Dorothy (THEM!, MAN-TRAP) Green.

There goes test pilot Jim Darcy off in the X-15 rocket plane on another test flight.

Jim's wife Linda drives out to the landing site to watch, everything seems fine at the moment...

The plane breaks into pieces but Jim is unharmed in the wreckage. He sees Linda, who crashed the car, and runs to her aid. Hey, they stole that tumbleweed from "Cry Of Silence!"

But something is definitely wrong here, there are two cars and two planes! The car in the background and the plane in the air are both frozen in time... Like, help Mr. Wizard!!

Even the emergency landing crew are frozen in their positions. Hey, a Ford Econoline, drove one of those when I was a courier at Fort Lewis in 1968.

Jim and Linda hoof it back to headquarters only to find the people there also frozen like a bunch of mackerels. What else could go wrong?

Oh crap, that's all I had to say! Anywho, this phantasm pops in from out of nowhere but is repelled by the flame of Jim's lighter, and it disappears.

Jim and Linda have to trek back out to the crash site, they notice that the men there have moved a bit from their previous positions. So.....

The two run back to headquarters to check on their daughter and to see if they can figure out what's going on. They encounter the ghostly figure again and he tells them that they will become like him if they don't get back to the car and plane and be in position for when the time elements will merge together. Boy, this story will make you dizzy!!

But, Jim has one last thing to do, and that's to run back to the base with the seat belts he cut out of the crashed car, because that one's not frozen in time.

He ties them together, attaches it to the back wheel hub, then ties it to the parking brake that's not engaged. Since he has to go back to the plane, he hopes this will save his daughter!

Jim makes it back in the nick of time, Linda gets herself ready for the moment...

Oh man, I've been holding this in the whole time!..

So, time has synchronized and Jim's plan works, the line pulls the brake, and viola!.. Their daughter is safe! Wow, could you imagine if that didn't work and the kid gets it! Maybe today, but not back then.

And to prove that she's just fine, check it out... No tread marks!