Wednesday, February 25, 2015

7 DONNE D'ORO CONTRO DUE 07 - Vincenzo Cascino - "You Are My Gold" (1966)

 Well, I'm just going to come right out and say it! Tonight's feature is a stupid movie! I bought it! I committed to watching it, and I'm sorry! It doesn't help much that a tempered glass shower door just exploded into thousands of pieces in my hands a few hours ago. Either way, I don't say this often, but I really thought this movie sucked!  With seven golden women in it, you'd think that was a good thing, but it wasn't!

"7 Golden Women Vs. Two 07,"  catchy title almost! 
 So let me just wade through this, and then I can get back to picking the glass shards out of my hands! Welcome to Wagon Wheel Wednesday, and tonight's feature straight out of Italy, and starring Jayne Mansfield's husband, Mr. Universe 1955 Mickey Hargitay! Mickey's role is so important in this movie, I didn't even use a still with him in it, but that's him in the poster with the gun!

Everybody, and I mean everybody, wants to get their hands on this Goya painting that once belonged to Hitler for some reason!

It would probably have been a lot more threatening if she actually had her finger on the trigger!

Maria Vincent as Marie Dupont offers up a smokin' number that was most likely composed by Felice (Go With God, Gringo) Di Stefano and Italo (The Labyrinth Of Sex) Fischetti!!

I thought this was an interesting shot, a scuffle, and a woman smoking like she doesn't even know the guys are there!

That's the basic premise! The vendor is selling copies of the painting to spies from all over the place, and supposedly the original painting has information on it that leads to treasure! So what happens next? All the spies start stealing from each other!

I have to admit that snorkeling and smoking a pipe at the same time is a novel idea!

Beats the Hell out of me!!

You girls can get a lot better look at this painting if you strip down to your bikinis!

Oh, it all makes sense now!

 
"AAAAaahhh!!!!!!!"

I don't think he's pondering gorillas!

And the band played on!

Isn't knowing without details the same as not knowing?

Alternate title: "The Armenian and the American Vs. Miranda and Maria!" The preponderance of M's in this movie almost seems planned! I'm not some kind of conspiracy theorist but something weird is going on here! Not only is there Miranda and Maria, there's Mickey, Mark, Maruska, Mendes, Mariani, Marinelli, and more!

Indeed! What kind of modern math is she doing?
Mickey Hargitay may have been the star, but the man truly responsible for this film is Vincenzo Cascino as Barbikian. I like to call him BBQ for short! Vincenzo also wrote, directed, and produced this film, the same as he did with a couple of other titles in the 60's like "Sheriff Won't Shoot!"

Towards the end the vendor claims that he was the one who painted all the forgeries, and he is the only one who knows why the painting was special, because he himself is the man who was Hitler's private secretary, Martin Bormann!

The women all get sprayed with gold paint, hence the title! Pretty hilarious, you bet! Yuk, yuk!!

6 comments:

Count Reeshard said...

You may feel burned for the purchase price of this film, but it's posts like this one that have me awaiting each time your tarantula presses the button anew...

Eegah!! said...

Thanx Count! It's funny, Professor Grewbeard always liked my cranky posts the best too. The way I'm been feeling lately, it's going to be a much more commonplace occurrence!

C.L. Rogers said...

Is there any place to watch or download this? Thanks.

EEGAH!! said...

Not that I know of C.L. but I'd be willing to part with my copy if you're interested, and if I can find it!

Elliot James said...

Cultaction sells a DVD. Never bought from them so caveat emptor.

EEGAH!! said...

So there you go C.L. Thanx Elliot, that's probably where I got my copy from. No worries there! Those guys are great!

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