FIVE GOLDEN DRAGONS - "Time Of Our Lives" (1967)

The soup du jour for this Saturday Night Special is one of the most bizarre films I've seen lately! I've seen a lot of weird movies, but "Five Golden Dragons" is right up there at the top, especially in the category of bigger budget movies! They have nothing in common, but for some reason, this film reminds me of William Castle's "13 Frightened Girls," I guess just because it's so odd!

They claim it to be an Edgar Wallace story, which would explain a lot, but IMDB only credits Harry Alan Towers and Peter Welbeck as writers!

I've always been a big fan of Bob Cummings, because I used to watch his TV show "Love That Bob" aka "The Bob Cummings Show," all the time as a kid, and in the context of that show, I always thought he was hilarious, but in "Five Golden Dragons," he just seems lost! In fact, about half the time, he doesn't even seem to know that he's in this movie!

What's much more important than the five dragon characters is the trio of Euro beauties used in "Five Golden Dragons!" It gets pretty confusing too since Maria Perschy seen here is a character named Margaret!

And Maria Rohm is a gal named Ingrid!

And Margaret Lee is a club singer named Magda!

So out of three actresses, two are named Maria, and two are named Margaret!

The two Marias are of Austrian descent, and Margaret Lee is British.

Maria Perschy's Margaret is the first to go!

 I don't usually notice screw ups, but it's hard not to notice Margaret's dead eyes blinking as the scene ends.

You know it's got to be an Edgar Wallace film because Klaus Kinski is in it, looking as cool and weird as ever in his Pee-wee Herman polka dot bow tie!

Here's the original mock up for the title card!

This movie has got everything including a rickshaw chase scene!

Almost every moment Bob Cummings is on screen is awkward especially when he's in a scene with Margaret Lee.

One thing I really liked about "Five Golden Dragons" was there were three songs performed in the club. Two songs were performed by Margaret Lee and....

..........Yukari Itô also gets a chance to do a number!

I was just wondering if they did this because of the popularity of the song "Sukiyaki (Ue o Muite Arukou)" by Kyu Sakamoto. "Sukiyaki" reached number one on the Billboard charts in the United States in 1963, and has sold over 13 million copies worldwide!

Robert Cummings was in the "Twilight Zone" episode titled "King Nine Will Not Return," and if you want to see him in a better role than this, then go watch Hitchcock's "Dial M For Murder!"

I think this was the second guy that got tossed off a building!

Finally, it's time for the "Five Golden Dragons" to show up. Five guys who are so rich and powerful, they run everything, but this is going to be the first time they ever meet!

The first dragon is Dan (The Bamboo Saucer, Black Angel) Duryea!

Brian (The Creeping Unknown, Quatermass II) Donlevy is dragon number 2.

Sir Christopher Lee is dragon number 3.

And looking like he'd rather not be bothered, George Raft is dragon number four!

 There's still time for Klaus Kinski's character to eat it!

So, yeah, these super rich and powerful men get together, put on these stupid costumes, and play a sophisticated game of Russian Roulette, kind of, except nobody found the bullet!

Dragon number five finally shows up too!

I saw at least five different posters from around the world for "Five Golden Dragons," and only one of them even had a picture of the star of the movie, Bob Cummings in it, and even on that one, he was very small!
The big sell was these four guys, and those three girls!
Just Weird!!

ARRRIVA DORELLIK - Margaret Lee - "Crash-Sci-Sci-Patapum" (1967)

Well, the Wednesdays just keep getting weirder down here in the Dungeon, and this week's installment and the end of this fine month is no exception! It's called "Arrriva Dorellik" and was also released in English as "How To Kill 400 Duponts!" There's some things I don't get, like supposedly "Arrriva Dorellik" is a spoof of  "Danger:Diabolik," but "Arrriva Dorellik" was released first in October of 1967, and "Danger: Diabolik" was released in January of '68! How's that work?

Comedy is a funny thing!, or sometimes it's not! If you try too hard, it doesn't work, and there's always that fine line between funny and stupid! In my humble opionion, "Arrriva Dorellik" crosses that line, but then again, everything's subjective, you might find this movie hilarious as Hell!!

Terry Thomas as Inspector Green of Scotland Yard is a guy who without a doubt is an acquired taste, and Terry's humour, just like some recreational drugs, can make for quite the uncomfortable experience if you get too much! "Arrriva Dorellik" amounts to what might be considered an overdose at times!

Goofy, bratty Dorellik is played by Johnny Dorelli. Johnny obviously had something going on for him, he was married to the beautful actress Catherine Spaak for seven years! Just in case you didn't notice, if you combine Johnny's last name Dorelli with Diabolik, you get Dorellik! What a coincidence!

Just like Matt Helm, Dorellik is a real ladies man, and all the chicks dig him the most!

Just like Diabolik, Dorellik is a master of disguise! Here he poses as a switchboarder, and a street artiste! Personally I just think he likes to dress up in women's clothes and wear wigs!

The painting he was working on really pisses off this police officer when he sees it!!

The entrance to Dorellik's secret underground pad is pretty cool!

Agata Flori is Dorellik's secretary Charlotte! Ironically, she was in another spy farce we've got coming up soon,"Operation Kid Brother!"

The basic premise of this movie, and the reason it also sports the name "How To Kill 400 Duponts," is that Dorellik has been offered a job! For a fat paycheck, he has to kill off hundreds of heirs to the Dupont family fortune, not just one or two, but hundreds!

The more than Magnificent Margaret Lee is Dorellik's on again, off again girlfriend singer Baby Eva, and for me the movie finally became interesting when Baby Eva and the GM break into a rousing rendition of "Crash-Sci-Sci-Patapum" written by none other than Castellano-Pipolo-Nohra & Pisano! One syllable in the title for each one of the writers on the song! Crazy is right! Here's just a couple of other things I have to say about Margaret Lee: "Super Dragon Secret Agent," "Bang Bang You're Dead,", "Psycho-Circus," "Kiss The Girls And Make Them Die," "Dick Smart 2007," "Spy Pit," "OSS 117-Double Agent, and "Venus In Furs!" She's a keeper!

In an effort to make Eva jealous, Dorellik waltzes in with four ladies on his arms! He later admits he paid them!

Try as I may, I couldn't dredge up any information on The GM, but I can at least give you this good shot of the band! These guys rock!!

I was doing all right, but then it got to the part where Dorellik was disguised as an African man with a stuffed Tiger on his back that was supposed to be sedated, but alive, and that was about as much as I could take!

For no apparent reason, out of everything that is supposed to be funny in this movie, this shot cracked me up! They look like a bouquet of flowers!

I will admit that this poster or whatever the Hell it is, is funny!!

For a much better satire on "Danger: Diabolik, I suggest you check out "RATOLIK" instead!

CHARLIE CHAN AT MONTE CARLO - "Waffles" (1937)

 Tis my pleasure to present tonight's classic film from good ole 1937,

"Charlie Chan At Monte Carlo."

I don't know about you, but I sure would like to know what those 11 big prizes were!

 Charlie Chan movies are like comfort food! You're not going to get gloss or gore or even much action, but what you will get is a good intriguing mystery with a lot of cool one line zingers from Charlie!

 At one point or another, Charlie Chan and his son showed up in almost every exotic place in the world! The location this go round was the gambling mecca of Monte Carlo!

 This movie is hilarious! Charlie's son Lee doesn't have that good of a handle on the French language and lands them in jail for what he says!

 The women of "Charlie Chan At Monte Carlo" are gorgeous and oh so much more!

Born Margaret Cynthia St John Field, Virginia (Rockabilly Baby, The Earth Dies Screaming) Fields' Mother was a cousin to Confederate General Robert E. Lee, and supposedly she chose the name Virginia as an homage to his home state!

 Okay, are you ready for this one? (I doubt it!) 

Kay Linaker from Pine Bluff, Arkansas was not only beautiful, she was also one of the screenplay writers for the "The Blob" under the name of Kay Phillips. She got paid $150.00 according to IMDB.  Kay lived to be 94, and I think that just proves how healthy an active imagination is!

 A small missing gem from a woman's high heel shoe gives Charlie Chan all kinds of info!

 Nice shot of the power trio, Charlie and Lee Chan, and Harold Huber as Inspector Jules Joubert!

Damn, Harold Huber only made in to the age of 49, after dying during some failed surgery!

 Somebody lights a fire to destroy some evidence and nobody cops to it!

 This guy looks pretty suspicious to me!

 This is my favorite part of "Charlie Chan At Monte Carlo!" Charlie and son Lee are at a French restaurant, and after Lee's last translation, Charlie's a little weary of letting him order for him!

 I speak almost zero French, but "Poissons" just doesn't look that delectable to me!

 Charlie just wants some waffles, but lee doesn't know how to say waffles in French, so Charlie decides to draw a picture on the back of the menu!

 As they say, a picture speaks a million words, and the waiter finally gets it! 

Oh, Waf'fells', oh sure, Qui Qui!

 And then he brings Charlie this crossword puzzle book!

I'm still laughing, and that's the kind of crap that makes these Charlie Chan movies so worth watching!

 It sure looks like they got Edgar Allen Poe to play The Gendarmerie in the background!

 Nice Ensemble shot to view the final smashing ending!

Wow! And the thought the ending we wrote for "The Creep" was original! 

At least we used an ice cream truck!