Saturday, March 17, 2018

IM SCHLOSS DER BLUTIGEN BEGIERDE - Adrian Hoven - "Castle Of The Creeping Flesh" (1968)

 I'm anything but normal, but I normally don't try and speak bad of most films, just because I respect the effort it takes to make one, but my patience has been growing a little thin as of late! The English language is a funny thing, for instance, here are two words with two completely different meanings, two different spellings, but are both pronounced the same way, and both describe this movie to a tee. Those two words are "Awful"- defined as "Very Bad or Unpleasant," and "Offal" - defined as "Refuse or Waste Material" or in other words, "Shit!"
Welcome to a Saturday Night less than special from the bowels of the Dungeon!

 "Castle Of The Creeping Flesh," great title, strange title card, and a total waste of everybody's time who had anything to do with making it, and or watching it!  The money spent to make this movie should have been spent on feeding hungry people or animal shelters!

Smoke and drink as much as you want, it's not going to make it any easier or better! These people have no morals, everybody is banging everybody else!

 "Castle Of The Creeping Flesh" is nothing more than Euro Trash soft-core porn........

 ...............Wrapped up in a very flimsy horror story!!!!

As much as you would like to, whatever you do, don't forget about these two guys! 

Howard Vernon is actually in The Dungeon Hall Of Fame, but not for this movie, and to make it even worse, in this dubbed in English version, they've given him a big deep baritone radio announcer voice that is just so ridiculous, it's ridiculous!!

This is the guy in charge of the lighting!

Michel Lemoine and Janine Reynaud have an incredibly erotic time eating chicken! The funny thing is that we grew up with a girl named Michelle Lamoine, and she reminds me of Janine Reynaud!

Cut back to the two creepy doctors again and again and again!

And too many times to count they cut back to what the doctor's are doing with what appears to be real surgery footage, again, and again, and again! It's disgusting! It's not even original!! So give me a freakin' break already!!!

After showing off her breasts for 10 minutes, Janine says "Oh, My!"

The original story was written by Jess Franco which explains a lot, and "Castle Of The Creeping Flesh" was written, directed, and produced by Adrian Hoven, an actor branching out into new territory in one of his seven Directorial roles! Adrian passed away at the age of 58 in 1981.

Sorry Adrian, I salute you for trying, but don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out!
Some things just don't need to be!! I get it, but really, who cares?
On a lighter note, do you know that this is the first year since 1956 that Easter and April Fool's day fall on the same day! The irony of that event is simply amazing!

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