Saturday, January 2, 2016

SAMPO - "The Day The Earth Froze" (1959)

Man, something smells really bad in here like rotten fish! I looked all around, and guess what I found? It was the "Sampo!" Go figure! Tabonga and I don't ever really discuss the different films we're doing, so it's pretty odd that we're doing two Russian films in a row, although technically this is a Finnish-Russian production! Too bad there wasn't another boat with a squirrel head!

 I'm taking off the kid gloves for this one cause this is one stinky mofo like rotten potatoes and the dirty diaper stench of really old kale!
IF you're looking for a painful brain full, then you've come to the right place!

Today would have been my Dad's birthday! He would not have appreciated this movie either!
I really got taken in on this one! From the looks of this poster, I thought "The Day The Earth Froze" was set in the 20th century! (Or maybe that's just what I was hoping!)

They were kind of limited in the casting department since the lead man also had to know how to ride a log down a river!

This is the flower child Annikki. Her brother Ilmarinen is the one who knows how to make a Sampo, but his hands are tied by the fact that for some reason, he can't make a Sampo until Annikki falls in love! Weird rules, but that's how it works! And to think that Hippiedom wouldn't come into prominence for another ten years!

This olde witch that looks like a man doesn't want the couple to be very happy, so she sets out to ruin their lives! She kidnaps Annikki and forces her brother Ilmarinen to make her a Sampo when what she probably really needs in some shampoo!

They need a boat to go after Annikki, so they hollow out the biggest tree they can find! Pretty impressive!

How's this bondage scene for weird looking? 

So what the Hell is a Sampo you ask? Well, there's only a couple of people who know how to make one, and when it's all ready to go, the Sampo yields unlimited amounts of grain, salt, and gold, the three things essential to good living!

After Ilmarinen makes the witch her Sampo, the couple is reunited!
I'm sure this is truly a wonderful story, I just think something got lost in the translation!

 Watching this movie was actually agonizing!
Some of the picture's like these two that I'm showing you look pretty cool, but don't be fooled, because what happens in between these stills is excruciatingly tedious!

The hero of the movie is Lemminkäinen as played by Andris Oshin in his only performance on the big screen! This movie just might have worn him out!

What a band! Maybe they are actually members of the band called The Band!

Besides Hippies, "Sampo" also introduced pogo dancing to the world!

Can't go wrong with pretty Finnish Russian girls!

Somebody please get the stage light out of the shot!

This is what is known as freezing your ass off!

I lived in Alaska for a couple of years, and had more than one opportunity to see the Northern Lights! I highly recommend it if you ever get a chance!

Lemminkäinen releases the sun from captivity......

..........and then everything thaws out, and life is groovy once again!

For me probably the most interesting thing about "The Day The Earth Froze," is that on this American poster, Narrator/Announcer extraordinaire Marvin Miller gets the biggest credits for his meager contribution! Marvin has some awesome career credits, but my favorite by far is that he was the voice of Robbie The Robot! I'm pretty sure that someone just ridiculously assigned the names Nina Anderson and Jon Powers to Eve Kivi and Andris Oshin to make them more palatable for American tastes!

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