THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD / Hemdale Film - 1985

It's time for more zombies on our Halloween Countdown, here at The Dungeon!.. I love this movie, it's a wild mix of horror and comedy with non stop action, great acting, awesome zombies, a nude Linnea Quigley and music by The Cramps, Poison Ivy Rorschach and Lux Interior!! What the Hell more could you possibly want?!

Here's Frank and Freddy at work at the Uneeda medical supply warehouse in Louisville, Kentucky. Frank is played perfectly by James Karen who we fondly remember from FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE SPACE MONSTER, he's currently working and has an amazing 197 acting credits!

Freddy, new on the job, looks through the thick catalogue of items they stock and sell.

Of course, the Army has some of its Plum Island zombies stored there and Frank accidently causes one of the canisters to release its gas into the store room!.. Now freakin' what?!!

Eegah!! sent over a sound clip from this out-of-control flick for our earjoyment, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button located there by our gas filled zombie pod, NOW, Ralphie The Tarantula!.. Here's a taste of... THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD!

The damage has been done and Frank has to figure out what to do now...

In the meantime, a group of punkers have decided to party at the old cemetery near the Uneeda warehouse. Scream Queen Linnea Quigley plays Trash, she's got the urge to strip down and dance for the rest of the gang!.. Hubba, Hubba, Bubba!!

Frank calls his boss, Burt, and tells him about the mess they're in, and, that there's a live corpse trying to get out of the locked room it's in! Burt is played by Clu Gulager who was cast in a lot of westerns.

After chopping the corpse into a number of pieces, Burt goes to see the doctor Ernie (get it?) about what to do with the pieces! In one of the really funniest parts, Burt sneaks in and startles Ernie, who responds by quickly pulling out his revolver and nearly shoots Burt! You know, what is he so freakin' nervous about?! Burt is played by Don Calfa who has just finished production on SHARKSKIN, where he plays the character, Snot!

Ernie tells Burt that they need to incinerate the moving pieces to make sure they're destroyed! But, how could they know that the smoke from the corpse would mix with the clouds above?!

It starts raining cats and dogs, soaking the punkers and bringing all the fun to an abrupt end! And, the corpses in the graves start popping out of the chemical soaked ground!

Back at the ranch, Freddy's girlfriend Tina has gone to the warehouse looking for him. Instead, she finds this really gruesome zombie coming after her for her pretty little brain!

Burt and Ernie then have to deal with this talkative female zombie that got cut in half!

Trash is now a zombie and walks the streets in her birthday suit. Here, she greets a disbelieving hippie dude by feasting on his drug addled brain!

Frank and Freddy aren't doing well at all from the infection setting in. Freddy dies and turns into a zombie while being held by Tina, so, he gets acid thrown on his face. It's wild to watch him trying to find his way around without his sight! Then, Frank crawls into the incinerator and is broiled before he can turn into a living dead!

This is a classic shot of the creepy zombie causing the mayhem in the warehouse!

So, Burt calls the 800 number on the canisters to inform the Army of the dire emergency. The Army Colonel reads the report and quickly makes the call for action!

The solution is to use the Army's atomic cannon to eradicate the plague they created!

Tune in Wednesday when we near the end of our Halloween Countdown Freak Out!!

ADVICE FOR OLD DUDES WHO STILL WANT TO GO TRICK OR TREATING / Or, HOW TO BE A CREEP ON HALLOWEEN

Hey all you kids out there that are too old to go trick or treating any more, but who love those big piles of candy to devour. So, here's some sage advice on how to get a ton of candy treats for yourself with hardly any work involved...

To illustrate a point on the incorrect way to amass a pile of treats, do this... Hide and wait until some kids go to a house, go up behind them and get on your knees so that you look short.

The candy man's wearing a Frankenstein monster mask, not a good sign.

But, he's giving each of the kids handfuls of candy, so, maybe he'll be generous to you!

Be very polite and and say... Trick or treat, mister!

His look says it all.

And, he tosses two lousy pieces at you.

Maybe you'll get more candy if you say... Only two pieces?!

And, he tells you to go away, you're too old to be trick or treating!

When you're walking away, you get an idea, and the guy gets a suspicious look on his face, picking up on your vibe.

So, might as well kick his pumpkin in the mush to show your unhappiness over the transaction and you run like Hell as he yells at you!

Okay, you can see what playing by the rules gets you. Now, here's the actual way to go about amassing that big old pile o' treats! I can taste it now!!

It's simple, what you do is hide behind a bush and wait for some kids to come walking by. And when they get up to you, jump out and say... Hey monster kids, what's up?!

If they don't run away, get into a conversation with them, ask them if they got a lot of candy, and whatever you do...

Act friendly!!

Then show them that you hardly got nothing in your bag, and act real sad-like.

Okay, here's the hook... Tell them that you'd like to look in their bags to see what a lot of candy looks like!

And when they present their bags to you... Grab them and hightail it into the shadows!!

And after you do the same thing to some other kids, well, you'll have a king's ransom of treats to last you for a whole week or more!

But if you eat it all in one sitting, you'll deserve what you get! This has been an old-timers Halloween public service announcement!

SPACE: 1999 / Mission Of The Darians - 1975

Here's another great series created by Gerry and Sylvia Anderson. This episode has the Moon Base moving to within range of a humongous ship that is 20 kilometers long! Because the ship is emitting a distress signal, Koenig orders an Eagle to go investigate and find the inhabitants, the Darians, have a very distinctive class separation.

So, a huge spacecraft is hovering near the Moon Base and the gang have to come up with a plan, it looks like they will investigate...

Here are two close-ups of the giant ship, it has tons of architectural elements! When I worked for the special effects studio Wonder Works in the nineties, they had this thing called the Greeble Room. It had drawers full of thousands of different small random resin pieces that could be mixed or matched for model building. Those pieces are known as "greebles" in the film industry!.. Greebles, baby!

Okay, sucker, where'd you put the damn staples?!

Hey, it looks like Commander Koenig has a very sexy visitor!

Commander Koenig, Joan Collins... Joan Collins, Commander Koenig!

Well, hello der!!

They threw in this FORBIDDEN PLANET looking walk way to the stars.

Joan plays Kara, here she is with Petros, High Priest. They are not very nice people.

Barbara Bain is kidnapped and thrown in with the underclass, where, she is chosen to be sacrificed to the star gods! Or, something.

I volunteered for this job but they ordered me to get the Hell off the set!!

Everything turns out great at the end! Check out Petros there with his head crashed through the display panel... Hurray!! Check in again Wednesday for more cool junk!