Monday, July 26, 2021

TALES OF TOMORROW / "What You Need" - 1952

Here's another great episode from Tales Of Tomorrow... It stars William Redfield as  writer Tom Carmichael and Edgar (4-D MAN) Stehli as curio shop owner Peter Talley. Those are the only two actors with credits on this production for some reason. The story is by Henry Kuttner and another version was done for THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

The story's about an unscrupulous writer who's short on money and wants to marry his girlfriend. He stumbles upon a potential mystery when he notices well-to-do men shopping at a small curio shop. And, the men come out of the shop with mere mundane items...

Here's the sign hanging at Peter Talley's shop. Guess what? He has what you need!

Writer Tom Carmichael is watching the well dressed men visiting this odd curio shop. He makes notes of every item the men leave with, this time, a pair of gloves. He's really puzzled.

So, Tom goes inside to ask the owner what the Hell's going on!  Peter and his wife are turned off by his brashness. In the meantime, another gentleman comes in and picks up a pistol and pays Peter $5000 for his services! Tom's dumbfounded, he explains that he doesn't have any money and wants to marry his girl, and begs for a freebee.

Just to have Tom leave, Peter agrees. He has built a machine that can predict outcomes in the future of situations. Peter sees Tom getting his tie stuck in a printing machine.

Tom gets a measly pair of shears, Peter tells him to keep it close at all times... Oh, and never come back, we don't like you!

Tom's girl thinks the shears are funny, what are you going to do Tom? Become a seamstress?!! They'll make a great married couple. But Tom's thinking about something else, money.

And sure enough, Tom goes back to the print shop and gets his tie stuck in a machine! Luckily, the shears were handy to save his neck! Now, Tom, the publisher and his girl all get the big picture, that machine of Peter's is worth a million dollars!!

Tom rushes back to the curio shop and threatens Peter, give me another thing I need, OR! Peter tells Tom that he'll have a courier deliver the item to him at the restaurant he'll be at. Tom is giddy with delight.

Peter has the machine make a future prediction about the current situation and it has Tom coming in, killing Peter and then stealing the machine...

Peter is in shock, what is he to do? He quietly gets up and picks out what Tom needs...

At the restaurant, Tom gets his package, a pair of shoes, brand new with super slick soles! And you know what? It's snowing outside. Tom quickly puts the new shoes on before him and his girl leave the place.

Outside in the snow, Tom slips and is run over by a truck, the driver swears that it looked like an invisible person pushed Tom in front of the truck!

Tom is dead and nothing can bring him back. Peter realizes that he has just played God with Tom's life and it's a bad ending for everyone! He destroys the machine.

Reminds me of a Guzanos tune... "Alles Ist Kaput."

Saturday, July 24, 2021

RAY MASTER l'INAFFERRABILE - "Diamonds Are A Man's Best Friend" (1966)

This week's Saturday Night Special is like a lukewarm bath, it still feels good, but not great. The IMDB entry starts off with "Amazing Italian movie..." but again, not half bad, but no way near amazing!
 
This Italian film was made in 1966, and is called "Ray Master l'inafferrabile," and released in English as "Diamonds Are A Man's Best Friend."

Not that many years ago, I searched out this film, and finally found a copy on a website now deceased, but these days you lucky people can watch it by just clicking on this link, and I hate to say it, but it's even a better looking copy than the one I have. There's just one little thing, it's not in English!
 
The star of "Ray Master l'inafferrabile," is Félix (Elevator To The Gallows) Marten as a very suave and tricky thief named John Martin.

The object of his affection is a crown jewel called "The Mountain Of Light!"
The jewel is worth a million dollars, and it seems like John Martin and his team spend about two million trying to steal it.

The crowd is in awe of the jewel's beauty!

John Martin stalls out the elevator, rides on top of the adjacent one, steps over and reaches in, and he's got it! But if it was that simple, the movie would only be ten minutes long, in fact, that's not even the real jewel.

John realizes he's being tailed, so he takes a picture of the guy, and then hands it to him, so he realizes that they are onto him!

I was really hoping this cool looking band was going to play some good music, but to my despair, they don't, and instead we get more oobie doobie vocals from Maestro "Mah Nà Mah Nà," Piero Umiliani.

This fancy miniature spy-type radio is hidden in a book about the size of "The People's Almanac."

Here you can see how thick the book is. I would think reading a book that thick while you are at the pool would be more suspicious that the little radio inside. The woman in the pool is John's gal-pal-enemy-lover Veronica Turner as played by Liana (The Devil In Love) Orfei.
 
The jewel is super protected by guards and video cameras, but John and his crew are able to replace the video footage, so when they're stealing the diamond, it still looks like it is safely where it belongs.

It's all too scientific for me, but somehow they are able to levitate John, so he doesn't step on the floor and set off the alarms.

This time he got the real thing!

Veronica is not treated very nicely by anyone on either side, and is slapped, pushed around, and tied up a couple of times before the movie is over.

To avoid getting caught with the jewel in customs, John's buddy has a pair of binoculars that also act like a high-powered blowgun, so before he boards the plane, he stops for a second, and his pal shoots it into his briefcase in a special container.

Another gang that wants the diamond threatens to make John permanently blind, but for some reason, they don't follow through, and just throw him in a locked room instead!

I think I could have easily just shown you all the various outfits Veronica wears over the course of the movie, and it would have been just as interesting!

The bad guys finally get the jewel, and put it in this Hotel's safe. John then shows up, and says he needs to store some expensive electronic e quipment for the night. Once the safe's door is locked, John's box opens up, and a midget gets out and reclaims the jewel!

The final switcheroo finds the jewel stashed inside the butt of John's umbrella.
John and Veronica have a good laugh in the end, but it's really not very funny!

Friday, July 23, 2021

UP FOR GRABS / Jon & Tom Weaver - Monster Kid Home Movies - 1980

Here's a fine example of some Monster Kid Home Movies made by Jon and Tom Weaver in an edited production with music from NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD! Tom has gone on to be one of the "leading scholars in the horror field" and has written many books on the subject. Many of us are familiar with his work.

Now, what better way to start a Monster Kid Home Movie that a big shout out to Forry and Famous Monsters!.. Well, none!

A grave digger has just finished lunch and is on his way back to the cemetery to dig another grave... Notice the product placement, smart!

When the guy gets to the site though, a freaking ugly zombie is crawling out of its grave!

And the thing is not messing around, he charges at the grave digger!

The grave digger runs and runs but he just can't get away from the damn thing!

Trying to lose the monster, the guy runs through the cemetery where he sees another person there laying flowers on a grave.  He warns the person of the danger but the dapper dude gets offended and pushes the grave digger away, basically, get away from me, you're crazy!

The grave digger keeps on running as the zombie drops in on the non-believer!

The person playing the monster is one strong guy, he tosses his victims around like they are nothing, and picks them up over his head!! He easily puts this guy in a tree before he starts chomping on his neck!

It gets really wild when the zombie jumps on the car the grave digger is driving.

The zombie falls off the hood of the car and rolls down a hill. Just to make sure the thing is out of commission, the guy turns him over.

Now, what do you think was going to happen?!

The gets away from the monster again and runs to a home where he finds a shovel to protect himself from the creep.

He gets the zombie on the ground and chops its hand off with an ax!

Then he starts it on fire!! Hope that does the trick!

The grave digger runs home but is concerned that the thing will show up there too!

He goes into a back room to hide and closes the door, just in case.

He tries to call the cops but the telephone isn't working, like, help Mr. Wizard!!

Then something opens the door and comes at the grave digger!..

I'm curious, I wonder when this ending was used for the first time in film... Well, there you have it, another Monster Kid Home Movie bites the dust, here at The Dungeon!..

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??