KATNIP KOLLEGE - "One Hep Kat's Tail" (1938)

 

Tonight's swingin' Weird Wednesday Featurette is called "Katnip Kollege," a kool seven minute Warner Brothers - Merrie Melodies kartoon from 1938.

 

Kool kudos are in order for the animation krew that consisted of Joe D'Igalo, Herman Cohen, Art Loomer, Rod Scribner, and Volney White.

 

For some reason, the only klass that's popular is "Swingology," and as you can see, the other dullology klass rooms haven't even been entered in some time!

The Professor is naturally one swingin' kat, with a voice provided by another swingin' kat, Mel Blanc!

Mr. Jones recites his history lesson in a killer swingin' fashion that matches the duds he has on!

The Professor has a nice collection of persuasive percussion!!

Then we get to see if Miss Kitty Bright did her homework right!

Kitty's voice was provided by "The Little Ray of Sunshine," Mabel Todd.

Just because they're a bunch of swingers doesn't mean they still can't pull a prank on the Professor's posterior!

But there's always gotta be one square in the group, and in this one, it's little Johnny who can't tell a "bo do o bo, from a ding a ling ding."

Wow, this sure wouldn't kut it today. They ridicule Johnny for not being a hep cat!

And the bad part is that the klass is dismissed, and they just leave him there!

The voice of Johnny was trumpet player, sometimes band leader Johnnie Davis.

Later that night, all the kool kats get together for a jam session with a full moon shining down on them!

 

"Katnip Kollege" is chock full of great music for any lovers of the "Swing Era." 

The vocal group performing most of the klassic tunes were known as "The Pied Pipers."

The Pied Pipers were very popular in the 1940's with twelve songs making the charts. Over the years, the group had many different members, toured with Frank Sinatra, and one of the koolest things they ever did was sing the dreamy backup vocals on Sam Cooke's killer hit, "You Send Me" in 1957.

 

Listening to the metronome of the tick tocking klock hits Johnny like an aftershock, and he suddenly just gets it, and can now feel the beat!

 

Johnny heads directly over to the jam, and "Just as easy as rolling cigarettes," he now knows what to do, and all the other kats dig him, especially Kitty!

Whoa! Suddenly Johnny is all hands, but Kitty doesn't seem to mind!

In the end, it was all so easy for Johnny, "As easy as rolling off a log," which they end up doing together!

It was also too easy for the two of them to fall in love!

ROBOT MONSTER / Monsters Attack Earth! - 1953

In this truly insane, super cheap movie by Phil Tucker, Ro-Man shows up on Earth and destroys all but six people on the planet, and spends the whole movie trying to bring their demise, until he gets the hots for the girl called Alice!

Holy cow!!.. It's beyond belief what the producers thought they were going to do with a measly $16,000, and in 3-D no less. I can only imagine what the audience must have thought (fooled by the poster) when they saw it, it's so pathetic. I would have demanded my money back! But, how do you erase it from your brain... It's also known as MONSTERS FROM THE MOON and MONSTER FROM MARS!

The poor stars are George Nader as Roy, Claudia Barrett as Alice, Selena Royle as Mother, John Mylong as the Professor, Gregory Moffitt as Johnny, Pamela Paulson as Carla and George Barrows as Ro-Man.

Things get going when Johnny and Carla are wandering around in Bronson Canyon and see two men doing something in a cave. Johnny takes his space helmet off to talk to the men who are there looking for rock samples.

But, mom and big sister Alice show up, time for a nice picnic amongst the rocks and in the hot sun! Lovely spot Phil! Then, even stupider, they all lay down and take a nap there! But Johnny gets up and starts wandering around again...

He goes back to the cave and finds some dude dressed up in a gorilla suit with a cheesy space helmet glued on, playing with his bubble machine. Didn't know the circus was in town!

Ro-Man (should be Ro-Ape!) tunes in his view screen and finds the Professor and his family. He has a dire warning for them, he is NOT their friend!

Roy shows up and wants to help, but when Alice says that he's too bossy, he says... Bossy! You should be milked before you come home at night! Wow, the good old days!

Now, this part gives me fits... It looks like someone smashed this electrical unit with a sledge hammer, but Alice just lays a soldering iron (that's not even on!!) on the mess and that's what she thinks will fix it. She does this shit for like two days and finally gives up, but not for lack of trying.

I want to hurt you Phil Tucker! You make poor Alice look like a doofus, when it is YOU that is the doofus!

From the Moon I guess, the Great Guidance blows the rocket ship and its two crew members the Hell up! Good riddance to another crappy movie model!

After listening to Ro-Man's tripe, Alice decides she's going to talk with the monster and maybe she can save the world! She's immediately restrained and tied up... But now, Johnny's gone missing!

Johnny has tracked down Ro-Man and wants to know what's his beef with them. The kid let's it slip that the reason the death ray doesn't work on them is because they all took the Professor's serum! Oh no, now Ro-Man can recalculate, and bring them down - Try and fit that one into some logic circles. Johnny runs away to tell the Professor that he screwed up big time! The shot of Ro-Man shaking his fist at Johnny always cracks me up.

So, Roy and Alice get married and go on their honeymoon. Soon after that though, Carla is being buried, she went up to Ro-Man and told him that he can't hurt her because her dad would protect her. Ro-Man reaches over and chokes her out!! Roy runs into the funeral scene and says Ro-Man has Alice, then keels over dead!!

Ro-Man gets frisky and wants to see what Alice gots hidden in there...

Ro-Man gets distracted and has to leave the cave. When he does, the Professor and mom grab Alice and rescue her just in the nick of time.

So, Ro-Man finds Johnny and chokes him out too (yay), then the Great Guidance puts his destructo rays on Ro-Man for being horny, and he's outta here too!!

And the rays cause the dinosaurs' appearance again like at the beginning. This freakin' movie makes minus 13 o' sense!!

Well of course, Johnny bumped his head after he got up during naptime and went exploring. Everything's fine, Roy and the Professor are invited over for dinner by the girls. That's right, it was just a really BAD dream.. Err, MOVIE! AAARGH!!!

THE KILLER THAT STALKED NEW YORK - "It Ain't Who You Think It Is" (1950)

 Tonight's Saturday Night Special is a scary movie that was made seventy-one years ago, and should have been mandatory prime time TV viewing last year. The killer is question is not a person, but a seriously contagious virus known as smallpox, and this is a tale of how fast infectious disease can spread!

 

By means of vaccination, small pox was eradicated in 1949, and declared gone forever in the year 1980, but not before it wiped out over 500 million people in 100 years of the not so distant past.

 

 

It all starts with this woman named Sheila Bennet as played by Evelyn Keyes. Not exactly a household name, but Evelyn was in some big movies like "Gone With The Wind," and "The Seven Year Itch."

Sheila has just returned to New York from Cuba where she had picked up some stolen jewels for her boyfriend, but what she doesn't know is that she also picked up a nice ripe case of smallpox, and every person who comes in contact with her is going to get it too!

Sheila's boyfriend is a first-class jerk! The whole time Sheila has been gone, he's been making it with her younger sister Francie Bennet. Francie is played by lovely Lola (The Monolith Monsters) Albright. The sleazebag artist boyfriend's name is Matt Krane and was played by Charles (Tarzan's Savage Fury) Korvin.

 

The bellhop named Danny helps sneak Sheila out of the hotel because the Feds are on her tail, not because of the disease, but because of the diamonds. The actor who plays Danny has a face you can't forget and played in many an odd character over the years. His name is Walter Burke, and he was in two episodes of "The Outer Limits," "The Invisibles," and "The Mutant," and he was also in an episode of "The Twilight Zone" titled "The Big Tall Wish."

 

Okay, here we go.....................No hugs!!! 

This little girl who was a stranger will later die from the disease!

 

Sheila finally makes it back to Matt's arms, and she's a lot more thrilled about it than he is! The funny thing is, the disease acts in strange ways, and a lot of people die from exposure to Sheila before she does, and for some reason, Matt's not getting it either.

 

Wash those freakin' filthy hands! 

Some things have not changed in 70 years!!

 

This guy is more concerned about the spread of the disease than most, because as you can see, he was a survivor, but paid the price with a pock marked face!

Smallpox was an absolutely horrible disease!

 

Jim Backus aka Thurston Howell III or the voice of Mr. Magoo, is the owner of a bar called Willies. He tries to put the make on Sheila, and will end up paying the highest price possible, a tortuous and miserable death from smallpox.

 

Sheila is a one woman wrecking ball, and she doesn't even have a clue. In the meantime, the authorities are in search of whoever started this whole mess, and they don't know where to start! 

 

These two drinking fountain shots just say it all!!
 

 

"The Killer That Stalked New York" has got a great supporting cast that also includes Whit Bissell as Sheila's brother, Sid Bennet. Whit was in some of the most classic monster movies ever, like "Creature From The Black Lagoon," "I Was A Teenage Werewolf," "I Was A Teenage Frankenstein," "Monster On The Campus," and more. He was also in "The Outer Limits" episode  called "Nightmare."

 

This is one incredible shot of a "Frightened City," which was an alternative name for this film.

There are a few differences between this plague and the one we are experiencing today, the biggest being they already had a vaccination since they had been fighting the disease for years. So every time a new case pops up, they immediately send a mobile team in to vaccinate everybody and anybody in the vicinity, but of course, there are doubters!

The breakout swells to a large proportion in a short amount of time, and so the inevitable occurs, and they run out of shots. Not bullshitting around in any way, the Mayor of New York steps in and tells the manufacturing companies to step up the program and get their asses to work 24/7, because they have no time to lose!

 

When they finally figure out who the person is who is spreading the disease, they go all out to find her!

 

Sometimes profiling is necessary and justified...............

 

...........And the police question every blonde in the whole damn city looking for Sheila!

This movie is Amazing! 

Seventy years, and it doesn't feel like we have learned a damn thing!

The Internet Archive is the place to find it!