ALMOST HUMAN - "Some Cops Are Born, Others Are Made" (2013-2014)

 

Welcome to a another Wild Wednesday down in The Dungeon! Tonight's feature was called "Almost Human," a TV show that ran for 13 episodes from 2013 into 2014, and should not get confused with the 1958 Toho classic "Half Human."

The year is 2048, and every cop is assigned an android assistant. The standard MX androids are totally devoid of personality or emotion, but one cop who is a little less conventional than most, gets paired up with an earlier version called a DRN that does have a personality and is "Almost Human."

The offbeat officer is a guy known as Detective John Kennex.

John Kennex was played by Karl (Eomer, Dr. Bones McCoy, Judge Dredd) Urban.

 

The DRN is named Dorian of course and is played by Michael Ealy, who was also one of the stars of a show back in 2005-2006 called "Sleeper Cell."

Dorian is a cool character, and does a good job of keeping his wild card partner in check with his logic and insight! In one scene, he tells a very irritated John that he can tell he hasn't been having any sex lately because he scanned his balls.

Other regulars in the main cast are Minka Kelly as Detective Valerie Stahl. The daugher of an Aerosmith guitarist and a Las Vegas showgirl, I don't think Minka has ever met a camera that didn't like her, and it's no wonder that in 2010, she was voted "Sexiest Woman Alive" by Esquire magazine! You'd get no arguments from me!

Mackenzie (Ragatti in The Pirates Of The Caribbean) Crook adds a lot of comedy relief, and has the role of the rather eccentric but brilliant Rudy Lom.

To round out this dynamic cast, there's Lili (I Shot Andy Warhol) Taylor as Captain Sandra Maldonado..........

 

 ...............And Michael (The Unit) Irby as the arrogant Detective Richard Paul.

 

 

 Here are just some of the sordid characters our heroes have to deal with over the course of thirteen episodes! John has to learn the hard way, that even his girlfriend Anna is his enemy! Anna was played by Mekia (Once Upon A Time) Cox.

Voice over maestro Jonathan (Mobile Suit Gundam Seed) Holmes is a used body parts dealer Henry Mills.

Psychopathic Clonemeister Ethan Avery is played by Graham (Brother's Keeper) Miller.

Damon (Justified) Herriman is bad cat Lucas Vincent!

Benito (The Shield, Sons Of Anarchy) Martinez is dirty cop Captain Alexio Barros.

Michael (Bates Motel) Eklund is the mad Eric Lathem. He wants a perfect face, but he doesn't know that the person he wants to see it, is blind.

David (Ant-Man) Dastmalchian is a high tech serial killer called Simon.

Gina (Deadpool) Carano plays a rampaging robot killing machine called Danica. Not just an actress, Gina's record was 7-1 in women's MMA.

John (Night Court) Larroquette is Dr. Nigel Vaughn, who is essentially Dorian's creator, but not the nice guy he pretends to be!

Laine (Diary Of A Wimpy Kid) MacNeil is Emily Wilson, a hacker out for revenge!

Shaun (Fringe) Smyth is the creepizoid Straw Man Glen Dunbar, and that's just some of the freaks and maniacs this dynamic duo has to deal with!

And this is just one of the many novel ways how some of the victims end up!

Grab yourself a free account, and you can watch the whole show for free on IMDB TV.

I seriously doubt you will regret it!

THE THREE STOOGES In "I'm A Monkey's Uncle" - 1948

So, here's a fun little caveman story, Moe gets ready to meet his new girlfriend but she brings her two sisters along for the ride...

Boy, talk about a timely statement!

Moe gets woken up when his fishing line, attached to his toe, signals that he's caught a nice fish for breakfast. Time for Larry and Shemp to get outta the sack and help out with the chores.

The milkman comes by and Shemp goes out to cheer him on!

In the meantime, Moe spots a duck in the water and thinks he's got another tasty meal to take back to the cave...

But, the duck has other plans! He imitates Curly's grunts and groans here!

Shemp and Larry see a duck behind the brush, they draw back their bows and release two arrows that find their mark on Moe's posterior, as the duck was riding on his back! 

Moe's getting ready to go meet his girl, after shaving with a stone ax, he puts some butter on his hair and combs it with the fish bones.

Shemp and Larry want in on the action, so, the boys all grab their clubs for some special caveman love making!

The boys come out of the cave to find three sisters there, whoa, a girl for each of them. Moe and Larry's girls are attractive, but...

Shemp's girl is big and pushy, not to mention homely!!

And of course, the girls' real boyfriends show up to retrieve them!

Moe, Larry and Shemp's girl all get a spear in the rear!

It's time to fight back, the boys find a tree with a perfect limb to hurl whatever they can find to assault the three angry cavedudes!

They get hit with rocks, mud and even a nest with eggs in it.

But after the boys hurl a freaking skunk at them, well, it's time to hightail it back to from wherever they came!

The Stooges actually get the girls in this one! Now it's time for me to hightail it back to the tipped over place we call the world.

JITTER BUGHOUSE - "These Cats Are Krazy" (1948)

My last post was "Outer Space Jitters," so it seemed like the perfect Saturday Night Special companion would be "Jitter Bughouse," so here we are, and away we go!

I actually never saw "Jitter Bughouse" or even knew about it until last Wednesday while looking up Emil Sitka's credits, but I know about it now, and I like it! "Jitter Bughouse" was made in 1948 and was a two reel film that was eighteen minutes long! The star of the show was Joe DeRita, the man who has the distinction of being the last stooge to ever join the trio, and also the last one to die!

But for me, the real star of the show are these three bozos known as The Nov-Elites who were a trio of musical knuckleheads, and really good at it to boot! The guy on the right leaned back in his chair too far, and almost fell out the window!

These three have some Stooges moments themselves, like waking up and stretching and slapping the guy next them in the face at the same time!

The Nov-Elites were left to right, Frankie Carr playing the accordion, Joe Mayer on the standup bass, and Art Terry playing the guitar!

The Nov-Elites are my new comedy heroes and rank right up there with Spike Jones in the hilarious music department, and should be a group everybody, instead of nobody, knows about! 

They all have the same four credits, and one of those was the 1960 Jerry Lewis romp called "The Bellboy."

 

 

Here's just a sample of how insane these guys really were, doing their version of "Alabama Jubilee," and while you're there, go ahead and watch Roy Clark's version too!

Here's Joe practicing with the boys for an ad for FUZ detergent!

Joe joins in with his musical skills on the brass!

Nobody noticed until it was too late that a kitten had spilled a half a quart of milk inside the horn!

Christine Cecilia McIntyre is Myrtle, Joe's girlfriend. Christine was a trained operatic soprano, but she will always be remembered most for her amazing twenty-seven appearances in Three Stooges shorts.

Joe and Myrtle have been engaged for six years, and every morning he comes over for breakfast, and she's tired of it, and wants to get married, but first Joe needs to get a job. He tells her that he's studying Psychology, and working on a theory that music can cure mental disorders!

While Myrtle is powdering her face, she accidentally drops her powder puff right onto Joe's plate!

Being an idiot, Joe doesn't notice, and cuts into it and eats it like it's a pancake.

Joe is pretty nimble and can cut a mean rug!

Myrtle has a job nursing a crazy but wealthy old galoot called Mr. Lark, and they decide they will see if Joe and the boy's music can make him tighten up a few of the loose screws he has in his head!

Emil Sitka who was in almost 40 Stooges shorts, and is considered by some to be the fourth stooge, has the role of Mr. Lark.

Coming up with stuff like this piano stool extender is how Mr. Lark spends his free time!

First there were mice in the piano that made it seem haunted, then the piano stool keeps going up and now, and finally it goes so high, it ends up tossing Joe out the window!

Of course he lands in an open 55 gallon drum of white paint!

The Nov-Elites put on a great performance for Mr. Lark, and for each song from around the world, they change hats!

From the land of the Volga.......

............To the land of the Shamrock, this frantic trio were rocking way before their time!

The fantastic music snapped Mr. Lark right out of it, and Myrtle is convinced that Joe will now become rich and famous for his cure for mental illness, and they can finally get married, and if one happy ending is not enough for you, then here's another one!

You too can watch this fun little flick for absolutely nothing, nada, nichts, 

at The Internet Archive!

And why doncha throw the dog a bone while you're there!