Friday, November 6, 2020

BEANY AND CECIL In "Malice In Blunder-Land" - 1962

In today's little tale, Cecil heads out to Jollywood to try and become the next biggest thing in movies. And you probably already know how that will turn out!

Here's our hero outside the studio, checking out the fancy cars leaving the lot. The car shown is like a stylized '61 Chrysler.

Cecil is just minding his own business, when, he's grabbed by a Vaudeville hook! As it turns out, it's DJ, that dirty guy! He's a Jollywood talent agent, working out of a phone booth, and wants to represent the sea serpent! Love Cecil's hat, real hip!

To soften Cecil up, DJ shows him a map with all the hot spots, I already like Bustle Beach, there's also the Dizzy Loot Studio and the Jollywood Soup Bowl!

Since Cecil always wanted to see the stars, well, DJ hits him in the head with a huge mallet...

Next, DJ convinces our star that he needs a makeover. He starts by trimming Cecil's nose off, then he trims his mane.

And viola, the makeover is complete, he even got his teeth capped with kids' caps.

DJ gets lucky with a call, they're casting a sea serpent for a horror movie!

DJ thinks Cecil will easily get the part, it's in the bag...

The dirty guy butters up the boss before Cecil comes in, telling him that he's got exactly what Jollywood's looking for...

Once Hamhock gets a gander of the new Cecil (all he wanted was a normal looking sea serpent), it's the door in the floor to oblivion for Ceec. And, oblivion in Jollywood means.. You'll never work in this town again!!

Of course, DJ's next!

So, Cecil can't wait to get back to his pals on the Leakin' Lena after an experience like that.

We end on a happy note as things get halfway back to normal... Join us again tomorrow as we continue down that dusty Dungeon trail...

Wednesday, November 4, 2020

THE PROFESSIONALS - "Stakeout" (1978)

"The Professionals" was a super cool British TV show that was on for five seasons from 1977 to 1983, and the Weird Wednesday part is unless you live in Europe, you most likely know nothing about it, and the only DVDs available are expensive and in a mode that you need an all-regions DVD player if you want to watch them.
CI5 were a group of highly trained individuals who worked on assignments so special, they answered to no one, hence the name "The Professionals."

"Stake Out" was episode number 10, and it aired March 3, 1978.
It's kind of funny that what was considered professional in 1978 would be viewed more as totally politically incorrect by today's standards! That's a big part of what makes it so much fun to watch!

Lewis Collins as Bodie was the one who had advanced military training and fighting skills. In 1964, Lewis was the drummer in a band called The Mojos, who released a song called "Everything's All Right," a song good enough that nine years later, it was covered by David Bowie!
Sadly, Lewis Collins passed away in 2013 at the age of 67 from cancer.

Martin (The Golden Voyage Of Sinbad) Shaw was Doyle, the ex-policeman and the one with the street sense of this real dynamic duo.

Gordon (The Quatermass Xperiment) Jackson is George Cowley, the only person Bodie and Doyle have to answer to.

The very swingin' soundtrack was created by Laurie Johnson, the man also responsible for the music in "The Avengers," "Thriller," and much more.

In "Stakeout," the boys are sent to a bowling alley to investigate some drug dealers, but stumble onto a much bigger and more deadly scheme.

 
Most episodes of "The Professionals" include a bevy of British birds, and this one is no exception!

Believe it or don't, but references to bowling have been found in ancient Egyptian diggings dating back five thousand years. The age of modern bowling dates back to 300 AD in Germany, and speaking of Germany, it's time for another shout out to Lord Litter for this marvelous discovery!

Despite being completely out of their element, Bodie and Doyle do their best to blend in!

If you take it seriously enough, bowling can be a very frustrating and challenging game!

In all the episodes I've seen so far, it's not often you find these two in an uncompromising situation like this!

And of course there is always a colorful cast of evildoers like these two characters!

Still trying to blend in, and still failing to do so!

Luckily, the boys get a break when they confiscate the camera of some perv in the bowling alley taking random pictures like this.

Okay, this has got to be one of the greatest story lines of all time, a miniature but very powerful atomic bomb hidden in a bowling ball bag!

There still might be hope, if we can just get the right wire clipped!

Monday, November 2, 2020

NIGHT GALLERY / "The Dead Man" - 1970

In today's creepy story, at his home, Dr. Max Redford is experimenting on a young man, John Fearing, that can mimic the symptoms of any disease. Unfortunately, him and the doctor's wife Velia are having an affair, and that creates some problems...

Rod sets the story up for us. This one stars Carl Betz, Jeff Corey, Louise Sorel, and Michael Blodgett. Carl played Dr. Alex Stone on THE DONNA REED SHOW in the fifties and sixties among other things and died of cancer at age 56. You will remember Jeff (with 237 acting credits) as Mr. Lomax in THE OUTER LIMITS episode, "O.B.I.T." Louise was on a ton of  TV dramas, usually playing a villainess and meddler, and did many daytime soap operas. Michael was in movies like THE TRIP, BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS and THE VELVET VAMPIRE.

Dr. Redford calls his friend Dr. Talmadge to show him what he's been up to. His patient can change from healthy, to having symptoms of many different deadly diseases.

John has been hypnotized to respond to taps with an object and can change back and forth depending on the tapping patterns. 

The doctor finally brings John out of the trance, and viola, he's back to normal. And he's as handsome as ever!

At dinner that night, Dr. Talmadge remarks on how vibrant Velia was looking.

Max doesn't seem that thrilled about his wife's change, and it shows.

Velia and John go for a walk after dinner, that's when Max tells Talmadge about his wife's affair with his patient. He's in a pickle and does not want to upset John and lose him as a patient, it could be a tremendous breakthrough in medicine and he wants credit for the years of work...

The next day, Max calls Talmadge in to show him a new trick. The doctor confirms that John is actually dead! Max laughs and taps his pattern... No response!

Talmadge screams, basically... KID, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!!

Now the train goes off the rails, for real. Max is in panic mode and is trying to get an injection ready for John, when...

Velia comes into the room to discover her lover, dead!

Ho boy, Velia watches as a bevy of doctors and nurses parade out of the house, meaning, they tried everything they could to save John, but alas. And after the burial, Velia walks by herself back to their place, through the graveyard!

Months later, Max asks Talmadge to come over and take all of his tapes and notes to review, and see where he went wrong. Talmadge listens to some tapes and discovers what went wrong...

Max had (for some unfathomable reason) tapped three times and then once, but should of tapped three times and then twice! Holy freaking scheiss!!!.. Ricky!!

And guess what?! Right! Velia walks in while Talmadge was drilling that point into Max's thick skull! She runs through the graveyard to John's tomb. She pounds the correct pattern out on the coffin lid. Boy, don't you think something bad is about to happen?

Max chases after his wife while Talmadge grabs a flashlight before following, but he has trouble finding the tomb in the dark. But when Talmadge does find it, he pans the room with the light. First, he notices that the coffin lid is open...

And then finds Velia in shock, against a wall.

Max is dead on the floor, choked to death, he's been attacked by John's corpse.

At least John still has a nice head of hair! So, I guess we'll be back Wednesday, we'll just have to wait and see. Just kidding, we'll be back no matter what, even if it's the end of the world!!

And, we want to say goodbye to Sean Connery, the Real James Bond!! He freaking hated to wear suits, I'm with you Bro ~

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??