REVENGE IN THE HOUSE OF USHER / aka ZOMBIE 5 - 1983

Here's an eighties Euro horror flick that goes like this... A young doctor visits the secluded home of his ailing mentor, Eric Usher, who believes the house itself is alive and plotting to drive him insane, manifesting itself through ghostly apparitions!

You can see another alternate title here. Anyway, it stars Dungeon great, Howard Vernon, in one of his 193 acting credits. There are also Antonio (MACUMBA SEXUAL) Mayans, Lina (SEX IS CRAZY) Romay, Fata (only acting credit) Morgana, Ana (only acting credit) Galán and Antonio (only acting credit) Marín... Wow, unbelievable!

By the way, this is a very weak production from the Euro guys, stale, no nudity.

Here's our young doctor as he approaches the Usher castle, he's there to help out Eric Usher in his research. What he doesn't know yet will blow his mind!

Check it out, here's Morpho in his old age, he appeared in a sixties Orloff flick. Here, he tends to Usher's daughter Melissa, who died many years ago, but now can be reanimated using the blood of prostitutes!

Here's Eric wandering around in his castle... He's coo-coo you know!..

Dr. Harker goes to this insane room to have a little talk with Eric, using a handy flashback.

We get to see young Morpho commit the murder of a beautiful woman that screams a lot...

Wait!.. I'm not done... Then...

Well, I guess, back to the flashback!.. Eric and Morpho dig up a body from the graveyard and take it to the lab for inspection. Wow, she looks pretty good for being, like, dead!

Just wanted to show Howard in this classic villain shot, nice!

You know, you're a Weirdo!..

It freakin' amazes me at all the fantastic locations Euro guys have access to, they can't lose as long as they're doing some kind of Gothic style production.

Well anyway, the ghosts of some of the prostitutes attack Eric, and...

The damn castle caves in on itself, killing everyone inside except Dr. Harker, who rides away on his trusty steed! So, we'll be back on Wednesday with who the Hell knows what, til then, yo!

THE AVENGERS - Season 4, Episode 23 - "The House That Jack Built" (1966)

Tonight's Saturday Night Special is Episode 23 of season 4 of the killer 1960's British TV show, "The Avengers!" I had something else actually planned, but I was rooting around in the garage trying to organize a bunch of crap when I found this VHS tape I had forgotten about!

Being as "The Avengers" was one of my favorite TV shows in 1966, It's hard for me to believe this will be the first episode we've ever discussed in these pages, and it's a good one!

The male star of "The Avengers" was the always splendid hat trick Patrick Macnee as John Steed!

Patrick's co-star on the show was Diana Rigg as Mrs. Emma Peel!

In my humble opinion, two of the most beautiful, intelligent, and funny women of the 1960's were Elizabeth Montgomery of "Bewitched" fame, and Diana Rigg, who was Mrs. Emma Peel in 51 episodes of "The Avengers!"

This episode titled "The House That Jack Built" aired May 16, 1966 and is genuinely creepy!

 

"The House That Jack Built" is practically a solo vehicle for Emma Peel. She has apparently inherited an old house from an unknown Uncle Jack, and is off to see what it's all about!

Once she is inside the house, it turns into some kind of dark ride roomful of mirrors from the mind of some insane carnival barker!

There is no Uncle Jack, and this is a crazy house where one door just leads her back to where she came from over and over again!

I swear there is almost no dialogue for 15 or 20 minutes while Mrs. Peel wanders helplessly around and around in circles! Occasionally she'll say something like "Who's there?"

Diana Rigg looks amazing throughout the whole insane ordeal, and quite the ordeal it surely is!

Somehow, amongst all the madness, she finds an opportunity to drink a glass of wine!

Finally, she finds this part of the house!
"The "Late" part is kind of unsettling!

Whoever is trying to drive her mad, has drenched up all these photos and objects from her past!
It gets kinda weird and creepier when she starts carrying her old doll around!

Some people can carry a grudge for way too long of a time!

The guy got fired so he spends the rest of his life and Lord knows how much money to create a house that will drive Emma Peel insane! I think he just might have a problem!

Another problem is that this mentally deranged fellow with a shotgun has also been confined in the house, and he keeps reciting the British nursery rhyme "The House That Jack Built" over and over! More than anything he's  just really annoying!

The "Automation Man" himself is dead, but the house is pre-programmed to drive Emma Peel screaming yellow bonkers, and that's it's sole reason for existing.

In this pre-recorded video, the revengeful madman tells Mrs. Peel that his self-contained krazy house runs on solar power and has frictionless bearings, so she needs to get ready for a long and arduous journey!

Everything has a weak spot, and eventually Emma Peel finds it!

In the end John Steed finally shows up just in time to escort Mrs. Peel home!

The moral of the story...Be careful as you go through life because you just never know who you might piss off!
It doesn't matter if it's on the job, or waiting in the buffet line for the crab legs at the local Chinese restaurant! They're out there waiting for you, and eventually, they're going to find you!

LOONEY TUNES / The Road Runner In "Guided Muscle" - 1955

Here's a terrific little WB cartoon we used to watch back in the day... The story was written by the tricky Michael Maltese and was directed by the master Chuck Jones, a collaboration that produced the funniest cartoons in the history of cartoons!..

Here are our characters, the lonely Coyote and the sonic speed demon, the Road Runner!

Things always start with a simple chase, but soon escalate into a comedy of errors.

The Coyote tries to match the speed of the Road Runner with the use of a big old bow... He does match his meal's speed though, but, his aim's a little off!

The Coyote just can't win, something weird is always happening to him!

And, it's never a good weird!..

Bring in some Acme grease, that'll slow the damn bird down, for sure! Of course, he gets himself stuck in the grease and has to try and get away before a big red truck runs him over, which it does with surgical accuracy!!

If nothing else works, well, buy a book, like, How To Tar And Feather A Road Runner, 10th printing even!

But again, the Coyote becomes the victim of his own devices!

Maybe a stick of TNT in the middle of the road will solve his problem... Uhh... NOT!!

So, after 7 minutes of losing every round against his foe, the Coyote gives up and turns the place over to another maroon stupid enough to think it can catch that slippery speed demon!

He even helps end this failed attempt to get a decent meal! That's All Folks!.. Tune in tomorrow when we'll have something special for you, and them, and those guys over there too!