THE ICE PIRATES / JF Productions, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer - 1984

Here's a movie for our pal, John Maffee, this is/was his favorite bad movie! Almost every eighties horror or sci-fi flick was some kind of total rip off of like four different seventies classics. In other words, it's cursed...

Rather than try and tell you what the movie's about, there a still with that explains it for me... Phew, saved me a few brain cells.

Well, it all starts with our hero reclaiming the toilet (by smashing the door down) from their ugly little alien pal who won't get off the pot. Then, once in, the stank is so intense that it smells the whole ship up!

Of course, there has to be a sleeping princess for the love interest, this movie has it all!

Here's our heroes very un-pirate, pirate ship... Boring!

The guys get captured and are cleaned up to be servants at a rock and roll alien party.

Bring in the ALIEN rip off creature, but, make him look goofy since this is a comedy.

There are weird 6-wheeled solar powered cars and huge steam roller death machines on this Mad Max style planet. I like the big roller thing with the skull head used for intimidation!

Anyway, it's time to hit the old hyper drive!

I've included this pic, because, I just saw an episode of AMERICAN PICKERS where they came across one of those eighties JVC Videosphere Space Helmet TVs, so, I knew what it was!

Things get worse before things get better for our spaced out heroes. Tune in tomorrow for another special post, here at The Dungeon!!

THE TROUBLE WITH HARRY - Alfred Hitchcock (1955)

Imagine a Disney movie directed by Alfred Hitchcock if you can, and you'll get a pretty good idea of how "The Trouble With Harry" comes off!

"The Trouble With Harry" is a dark comedy released in 1955! Alfred Hitchcock making a comedy like this is like The Three Stooges making a serious movie, it just doesn't work that well, for me anyway, but Alfred had a different opinion! In his interview with Francois Truffaut, Alfred stated that this was one of his favourite movies, a story that he thought was very funny, and though I will admit that I did get a few laughs at the beginning, it's actually quite droll, but then what else would you expect from the Master of Macabre! Alfred also said that he thought the movie was one big understatement, but that unto itself is an understatement!

 "The Trouble With Harry" is that he is dead, but that is not the real problem! "The Trouble With Harry" is also that it's 99 minutes long, when 30 minutes would have been just fine!

The countryside in the state of Vermont where "The Trouble With Harry" was shot is absolutely stunning and beautiful.......

.......As long as you like to watch guys hiking around with shovels!

Here's a trio of film and TV icons that's hard to beat, but that's just not enough to save this film! 

John (Bachelor Father) Forsythe, Jerry (The Beaver) Mathers, and Shirley MacLaine in her first film ever!

"The Trouble With Harry" is that it seems to go on forever and ever. Of course, all Alfred Hitchcock completionists should watch it, but for the rest of you, your life would be more productive spending some time in a "Frenzy" with "The Birds," or some "Psycho!"

SCANNERS / Canadian Film Development Corporation - 1981

Welp, here we go wif' another week of mayhem, here at The Dungeon!.. This is a movie by writer/director, David Cronenberg, VIDEODROME will be his next production. This story's about Darryl Revok, the most powerful of all the scanners is the head of the underground scanner movement for world domination! Scanners have awesome psychic power, strong enough to control minds and can inflict enormous pain and damage on their victims. Then, doctor Paul Ruth finds a scanner that Revok hasn't converted to their cause yet. He wants to use him to destroy the underground movement...

Here's our hero scanner, Cameron Vale, played by Stephen Lack. Unfortunately, he uses his power to torture this old biddy after he hears her talking trash about him at the food court.

He tries to get away but is sedated by some darts shot by some dudes chasing him! When he wakes up, he's strapped to a bed in an asylum... Having any fun yet?

A little later, Revok, played by the great Michael Ironside, uses his mind to blow this dude's head to pieces in front of the audience at a forum about mind control. The cops take him away, but, he escapes from the situation using his mental powers!

Here's the group of people trying to find a way to put the scanners out of business.

Cameron pays a visit to an artist to find out some info on the scanners. it doesn't end well when three of the bad guys show up and blow the place into pieces. But, Cameron uses his powers to kill the three of them, tot! That big head is interesting, the back side is open and there's a lounge area inside!

Heeey everbloody, join in... Do the scanner stomp... Do the scanner stomp, baby!

Revok fills Cameron in on his devious plan, lacing a health drink with scanner juice! Yeah, and, it's even good for babies, yow!

Well, that starts a big fight between good and evil, looks like it's gonna be pretty grim!

Things build to a crescendo before all Hell breaks loose...

It looks like Cameron has lost the battle and evil has won the day, but... He switches bodies with Revok and the tables are turned on the head scanner, game over, man.. Hurray!!

BEWITCHED - Season One, Episode One (1964)

Sometimes you don't see the wigglin' nose on your own face! "Bewitched" was one of my favourite 60's sitcoms. It had all the right elements, brains, beauty, badinage, and buffoonery. and that's hard to beat!

The star of the show was one of my all-time favourites, Elizabeth Montgomery! Elizabeth is Samantha Stephens, the cutest witch you'll ever see! Elizabeth was unfairly taken from us in 1995 at the age of 62, another victim of cancer!

Dick York was Darrin Stephens, Samantha's dull and naively unsuspecting husband!

In my world, there is only one James Bond, and that is Sean Connery, and in the same context, there is only one Darrin Stephens, and that was Dick York. not Dick Sargent, and not Will Ferrell! Sorry, that's just the way it is! Dick also passed away at the age of 62, but what got to him was emphysema!

This first episode of "Bewitched" aired on September 17, 1964!

The couple meet, fall in love, and get hitched! (All before Darrin finds out that Samantha is a witch!)

Samantha's Mother Endora is not happy that she is having a relationship with a mere mortal, and creates lots of problems because of it! The terribly annoying Endora is excellently played by the always awesome Agnes Moorehead!

Samantha tells her Mother that she loves Darrin, and she can't do anything about it!

Darrin and Samantha are on their honeymoon, so Endora makes Darrin disappear, and reappear in the Hotel lobby! He has no idea how he got there, so he goes to the desk to ask for his room key! He still hasn't met Endora, so when he gets back to the room, she does it to him again! He's getting kind of disoriented!

Samantha tries to put a spell on her Mother to make her go away.................

...........But her powers are no match to her Mother's, and they have no affect at all!!

Elizabeth Montgomery is just so darn cute, it was hard to watch her in a film like "The Legend Of Lizzie Borden" where she plays a totally deranged character!

Both Dick York and Elizabeth Montgomery had previously been in "Twilight Zone" episodes!! He was actually in two, "The Purple Testament," and "A Penny For Your Thoughts," and she was in the episode titled simply "Two!"

When she finally confesses to him that she is a witch, he doesn't believe her, so she has to do a couple of simple tricks to prove her point like moving this ash tray around......

.........And making a drink appear in his hand!

Darrin goes to a bar to just be able to tell somebody/anybody his story, but this guy Dave is so caught up in his own world, he doesn't hear a word he's saying! Dave was played by Gene (That Darn Cat) Blakely!

Samantha has agreed to not using magic in order to save her marriage, until Darrin gets invited to a party thrown by his old girlfriend Sheila Sommers as played by sultry Nancy (Jason And The Argonauts) Kovack!

Everybody at the party is fawning over their perfect hostess Sheila, and at the dinner table, Samantha finally can't take it anymore. First, she starts off by messing up her perfectly coiffed hairdo!

Then she does this to her teeth......

.......Which is followed by strategically moving a soup bowl so that Sheila puts her elbow right in it!

Samantha can be pretty devious when she puts her mind to it!

For the big finale in the humbling of Sheila, she basically has her sneeze herself right out of her dress, followed by a bunch of strong wind to finish off the job!

Oh, Samantha, you bad girl!! 

"Who? Sweet little me?"
You can bet that Elizabeth will be on my next list of 25 favourite gals of TV and cinema!
That ought to give you something to look forward to!