Wednesday, May 18, 2016

THE PROTECTORS - Robert Vaughn - "Brotherhood" (1972)

"The Protectors" was a TV show that ran for 52 episodes from 1972 to 1974! I can unequivocally state that I never knew about this show until Lord Litter recently turned me on to it, because I did not even own a TV set during those years! Lord knows what else I missed, or then again, maybe he doesn't!

What I do know is that Robert (THE Man From U.N.C.L.E.) Vaughn had the starring role as Harry Rule, the head of an international crime fighting agency!

"Brotherhood" was episode number two!
The awesome swingin' music in "The Protectors" was created by John (Psychomania) Cameron, and here's just a small sample of how cool it is!

Harry Rule has been hired to to break some cat out of jail who has supposedly been imprisoned unjustly!

 Pretty tricky how they can hide the big boss's true identity!

Nyree Dawn (The House That Dripped Blood) Porter has the role of Harry Rule's partner, and very efficient assistant Contessa Caroline di Contini!

She's come to the prison to plant a mini-bomb, but for some reason, the warden is very distracted!

The mini-bomb goes off and blows out the bars on the jail cell window, and then Harry Rule swoops down in his helicopter and saves the innocent victim!

 Time for Harry and the Contessa to celebrate! To the victors go the spoils!

 Oh, Great! You busted me out of prison just so my brother can murder me!

 "Yeah, hey, I'd like to order a pizza to go....and no anchovies!"

I said, "NO ANCHOVIES! What the Hell did you think I meant?

 And now a word from our sponsors!

Let the fustercluck begin! Better watch out, Harry might just punch you!

"The Protectors" is another great Gerry (Thunderbirds) Anderson production like "UFO" that has real people in it, not puppets!

Job well done, let's wrap it up!

Although I wasn't familiar with "The Protectors," I probably did see every episode of "The Man From U.N.C.L.E." but I have to tell you that my favourite memory of Robert Vaughn will always be for his role as Lee, the spineless hotshot gunman in one of the best western movies ever made, "The Magnificent Seven!"

Monday, May 16, 2016

THE WICKER MAN / British Lion Film Corporation - 1973

This week I'll be doing two movies that Lord Litter loves to watch over and over, I'll start with this super special movie. Our pal Greg Goodsell clued me in a year ago, so, here we go!!.. Our story's about a police sergeant that's sent to a Scottish island village in search of a missing girl whom the townsfolk claim never existed. But, even stranger are the religious rites that take place there. For those who want to know, the 2006 version with Nicolas Cage is a giant pile of crap, so, don't waste your time with it.

I have a sound clip for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button located there by our atomic toaster, NOW, Ralphie The Tarantula!.. Here's a sample from... THE WICKER MAN!

Sgt. Howie (Edward Woodward) shows up in Summerisle to investigate the disappearance of the young girl.

But, he feels like everyone's shining him on. Here, the locals sing about bedding women!

The locations are beautiful and plush, in the Nicolas Cage version the countryside is all dried out and just plain ugly!

Sgt. Howie pays a visit to Lord Summerisle, a Chris Lee role that will amaze. He wants to know why there are girls dancing nude on the grounds, a bit of that conversation is heard in the sound clip.

The sarge decides to leave in his plane to make a negative report about his findings, but, it won't start and he's stranded without communication to headquarters, not good!

Then, he finds these horny dolls on his bed, soooo...

It's time for a big stiff one!!

Things get extra strange when the island festival gears up, masks and costumes for everyone!

Sgt. Howie finds the missing girl and presents her to the crowd. She quickly runs away from him and gladly joins the rest of her people... WTF?!!

The sarge is cleaned up and dressed in a white gown, then dragged away toward...

A giant freaking wicker man!! Holy Hell, what is that damn thing anyway?!..

It's very bad news for Sgt. Howie, bringing an end to this fascinating flick, comes with our highest recommendation!! Now, all we have to do is wonder what Eegah!! will have for us on Wednesday.

Saturday, May 14, 2016

13 MORE MOVIES I WILL WATCH AGAIN AND AGAIN....Lord Litter...May 2016

Ok .. here we go.....................
Most of these I've seen several times, some only once. One aspect unites them all - I'll watch them again - guaranteed!

The Wicker Man (1973) - Robin Hardy
A VERY different *horror* movie. With a touch of Krimi, a touch of ..mh..Musical(?), you'll get nature Hippie Freaks, a true existing bizarre ritual, you'll get British Horror Legends like Britt Ekland, Ingrid Pitt and Christopher Lee, it's neither by Hammer nor by Tigon..it's REALLY special!

Waxwork (1988) Anthony Hickox
I have to admit that there is almost only one aspect of the 1980s I thought was worth keeping: the HEAP of colorful, crazy, over the top, not taking anything serious, stupid, trashy, inane etc etc etc productions (You'll find my cassette releases of those years there too). In this heap I find some movies. Waxwork is one - a visit to a mysterious wax museum, where hell breaks loose. With lots of references to classic horror, it's entertaining to the max - promised! And it even has John Steed, ah sorry, Patrick Macnee, in a leading role!


Child's Play (1988) Tom Holland
Child's Play? Chucky!! I guess *everybody* knows Chucky.. I LOVE ALL Chucky movies ..Chucky is mean ..Chucky has charm ..irony..Chucky pleases the child in me, in a somewhat updated version..chuckle, chuckle, chuckle..Chucky! Chucky!! Chucky!!!


Nightmare City (Incubo Sulla Città Contaminata) (1980) - Umberto Lenzi
I still don't know what it is that *makes* this movie. I've seen it often and still, as soon as it starts, I'm immediately hooked. I guess it's because it creates the *zombie* atmosphere right from the start. The pictures of the city and the music just tell you that there is something wrong. Then the mysterious plane that lands..nobody gets out.. then the police arrive and order the passengers to get out.."you have 30 seconds"..and then the door opens .. and then ...BANG - these zombies are quite different....you just cant stop watching...


Phenomena (1985) - Argento
Argento is always somewhere between surreal and bloody gore_ish. His best movies are the ones that do NOT follow the conventional route of film producing. Like this one. You can watch it several times and still will be not able to summarize the plot in a way that someone else really understands. It immediately starts at the beginning when the girl misses the bus, and madness starts without introduction, without explanation ...Argento!!

Deranged (1974) -  Jeff Gillen / Alan Ormsby
In later years a wave of mad (serial) killer movies were produced. This is one of the first ones .. and it is one of the best. It is based on the life of Ed Gain and Roberts Blossom portrays poor Ed in a virtuoso way! The atmosphere is very intimate and even if you get presented some real gruesome sights, you almost would like to visit Ed to spend an afternoon with him and have some tea with the *ladies*.

The Beast in the Cellar (1970) - James Kelley
Again a movie that the *critics* tore apart. I like it very much because it has an *atmosphere*. The two old English Ladies that try to hide their secret...almost like a theatre play, a very small cast. I guess it's one of those movies you have to see at least twice..yes.. very much my taste! Tigon treasure.


Long Weekend (1978) - Colin Eggleston
Mh strange - a very slow movie with almost no real *horror* on board, and it still got positive response from *critics* - and I'm sure talking about the ORIGINAL version. VERY seldom is a new version as good (cause it's *different*) as the original .. examples. The Fly (original 1958, new version 1986), and Invasion of the Body Snatchers (original 1956, new version 1978)..a couple wants to save their marriage, spends a weekend in nature, starts acting eco-unfriendly, and has to *pay*... two people..great atmosphere.

Zombie Lake (Le Lac Des Morts Vivants)  1981 - Jean Rollin/Julian de Laserna
Nazi Zombie movie - *everybody* is praising Shock Waves, and yes it's probably the best if you're thinking in certain categories - but Zombie Lake, if you look at the whole context, is much more bizarre. Starts like a soft porn, then slowly shifts into a social context atmosphere, then adds a bucket of schmaltz and finally ... Jess Franco first directed the movie till he started arguing with the distributor and left. The movie was finished by Jean Rollin with the help of a co-director. Several people worked on the script...a complete patchwork. Looking for a fast-paced zombie flick?..avoid! Looking for *something different*? .. this is for you! ..in fact this is more like a slow developing melodramatic story.. taken from pulp fiction. And this shows why I think it's special - pulp fiction is NEVER slow developing.

Demons / Demoni - 1985 - Lamberto Bava
Not a *good* horror movie but if you're into gore_ish 1980s over the top productions, this is sure a hit! Lamberto Bava, son of Mario Bava, works with Dario Argento who wrote the script. Ok, I have to admit, a lot of points are added to the score for me because it is filmed in Berlin. All locations are around the corner from where I live (again) and The Metropol, the theatre where it all takes place, I visited countless times in the 1970s/1980s to see loads of bands back in those days. By the way, this is also the theatre where Karin Dor gets decapitated in "Die Unsichtbaren Krallen des Dr. Mabuse"...and..yes..it's really round the corner from where I live!

NIGHT OF THE GHOULS (1959) Ed Wood
I tried to present only movies I didn't find on this Blog ..but...a Ed Wood movie is a must..Night Of The Ghouls I've seen countless times, and I know I'll see again and again and.. it's such a bizarre totally outstanding unique piece of art if you're into *something different* - a brilliant example of what makes underground/independent cinema so extremely unique and inspiring..or you are totally bored and just hate it and watch the next George Lucas movie - absolutely ok with me, but you'll NEVER find me there...I'll be with Ed forever...

Das Blaue Palais (1974-76) German TV series by Reiner Erler, 5 episodes.
German TV was so very excellent in the past. Sure it had boring elements, but shows like Das Blaue Palais became sci-fi classics. The stories told in these 1 1/2 hour episodes were based on aspects of scientific reality, and then taken into a possible near future. The stories are extremely exciting, written and directed by Reiner Erler who created some completely unique work, like "Fleisch" a thriller about organ trade, which may not be known outside of Germany.

Uzumaki (2000) Higuchinsky
Probably one day I'll present a whole collection of Japanese movies. A golden rule: you can't transpose Japanese horror into any other culture. I guess it's mainly the American film industry that tried to offer westernized versions of Japanese horror classics. All totally failed if you know the original. I even strongly recommend watching Japanese horror movies in Japanese language with subtitles. The sound of the Japanese language definitely adds to the total uniqueness of the Japanese horror genre. Uzumaki starts like a teenage love affair, and then develops into a bizarre story where everything in a city gets transformed into and hypnotized by spirals. Again a movie put down by *critics* - "Not a real horror movie". NO!..it's *something different*!
Yes - there will be a next time because there are at least 4678998765plus13 movies I have to watch again.
Vive La Difference!
LL

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Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??