TALES FROM THE CRYPT / And All Through The House - 1989

Here's another twisted Xmas tale about a woman that makes the mistake of murdering her husband while an escaped mental patient dressed in a Santa outfit is on the loose in the area.

The Crypt Keeper gets all dressed up as Santa for this episode, a really ugly little version with lots of missing teeth and misshapen fingers.

After deciding to go into comics in 1979, one of my most awesome experiences while learning all about the history of comics was reading the 1950s EC Comics and noticing the supreme quality of the writers and artists they had working for them. They were God back then.

I have a sound clip for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button located there by our newly sharpened ax, NOW, Rufus The Gnat!.. Here are some sounds from... AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE!

Here's our happy couple just before they file for a separation. He wants her to give him the fireplace poker, so, she does!

Their daughter comes downstairs to see what's going on but mom sends her quickly back upstairs before she can notice that something doesn't seem quite right.

Wifey has a sadistic side to her! I'm sure some marriages create these kinds of monsters, as verified in the sound clip.

Larry Drake plays the escaped convict dressed up like Santa. Larry was DR. GIGGLES in 1992. In this scene, wifey fights back and scratches the crap out of him, allowing her to get away.

Then, Mr. Maniac gets his arm through the door but gets an ax whack for his effort!

Wouldn't you know it, the kid is so excited about Xmas, she can't wait to get her presents! She tells Santa to use the ladder laying there to come up to her room!

But, Santa's interested in only one thing, giving wifey her special gift for being soooo BAD!!

Ain't Xmas fun!!.. Be back tomorrow as we slay away using Santa's sleigh!

SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT - "Night Of The Dark Full Moon" (1984)

It seems they had it out for Santa in 1984! "Silent Night, Deadly Night" is another good example!

There was a lot of hype about this movie, personally, I just think it's a gory slasher Christmas comedy! Sick, no doubt, and another flick not for the kids for sure!

As "Blood Freak" was to Thanksgiving, "Silent Night, Deadly Night" is to Christmas, a stupid sleazefest, but yet, still engaging!

It all starts here! A family is going to see their Father who is in a mental institution on Christmas Eve!

The grandfather is totally non-receptive until all the adults leave the room, and then suddenly he becomes all animated, and tells his grandson that he better be good, because Santa Claus punishes the naughty kids!

In an apparently unrelated scene, an evil man dressed as Santa Claus robs a convenience store, and kills the proprietor! He's one bad cat! When I saw that this Santa drove a red car was the moment I decided this film was a comedy!

The paths of the bad Santa and the innocent family soon cross, and he brutally kills the two adults and one young boy witnesses the whole thing, and is permanently scarred forever! The other brother is just an infant, so he just cries!

Flash forward three years to the brother's new home!

As witnessed by this drawing, the boy is carrying around a lot of sick Christmas baggage!

Spring forward another 10 years!

The boy is now all grown up, well mannered, and seems to be fine, for a while anyway! Good lookin' guy Robert Brian Wilson is the psycho Santa who has now become a cult hero! After doing some TV and a recurring role on "Santa Barbara," Robert hung up his acting shoes in 1992! One of the nuns at the home gets him a job in a toy store because he's big and strong!

Take a guy who already has a Santa complex, and compound it by making him do a gig as Santa at the toy store! This can't be good!

History has shown that it is never a good idea to give a psychotic copious amounts of alcohol!

Oh well, it's just a Christmas party!

Scenes of creepy X-Mas icons prevail!

Now it's time for all Hell to break loose!

Flashbacks and bad memories turn Santa into a killing machine! 

At first it's not so bad, like this rapist dude kind of deserved it, but then Santa shows that he has no qualms or remorse about killing anyone if they've been naughty in his mind's eye!

Scream Queen extraordinaire Linnea Quigley has the role of victim Denise! She was making it with her boyfriend on the pool table when she heard something, and then she gets to run around with her top off for three or four minutes before Santa barges in and sentences her to guilty of being naughty!

"Denise" Where are you Denise?"

Here's another reason I say this is a comedy! More than one victim threatens their friend or lover with "I'm gonna kill you" or "I could kill you" (I can't remember the exact quotes right now) before they get killed themselves by Santa; stupid shit like that!

This movie is pretty bad, but at least Santa gave this little girl a choice. "Have you been naughty or nice?" After previously killing every human he came in contact with, he gives her a pass and his utility knife, when she honestly tells him she's been good!

When the cops finally respond to all the mayhem, of course they shoot the wrong Santa!

Another reason I say this is a comedy! Santa chops off this poor defenseless snowman's head with a bloody axe!

When this sick Santa is finally stopped, his axe drops in the appropriate place at the feet of his little brother leaving a gigantic opening for "Silent Night, Deadly Night 2!" 

I think they're up to 5 now!

THE TWILIGHT ZONE / The Night Of The Meek - 1960

I remembered this TWILIGHT ZONE episode starring Art Carney, so, dug it out for this post. It's all about a boozing department store Santa that gets fired on Christmas Eve, then, finds a mysterious bag that gives out presents. With the bag slung over his shoulder, he sets out to fulfill his one wish... To see the less fortunate receive the bounties of Christmas.

I have a sound clip for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button located there by our pile of coal, NOW, Ralphie The Tarantula!.. Here's a little sample from... THE NIGHT OF THE MEEK!

Santa is late for his gig and the kids want to know... Where the Hell's Santa Claus?!

Art Carney is one of my heroes, he's always great, grew up with Ed Norton. Anyway, Santa is across the street at the bar and has had about three drinks too many.

On his way back to the department store, two children approach him and ask him for some Xmas presents, including a job for their dad.

Then, good old Rod shows up to introduce this taped yuletide episode on December 23, 1960.

Santa makes it back to the department store just in time to fall flat on his face in front of the kids and parents!

And, the boss!!.. Santa, you're fired!!!

As Santa wanders the alleyways, he comes across a large sack, full of...

Xmas presents!!.. It's a happy night at the local shelter for the old...

And, the young!

As Santa walks away from his empty bag of gifts, something catches his attention. The helper in the sleigh tells him to get on board because they have a big night ahead of them!

A Merry Xmas for all, and, to all, a good night!..