SECRET AGENT - Alfred Hitchcock - "Burns A Flaming Trail Among The Gay Capitals Of Europe" (1936)

Saturday Night Special? Hell Yeah! "Secret Agent" 1936!!

 What's really scary is to think that enough time has passed that some people today don't even know who Alfred Hitchcock is, and that some day in the not too distant future, only historians will know the name! I daresay that if it wasn't for "Psycho," 97% of people 30 and under today wouldn't know who he was!

"The films of Alfred Hitchcock" should be a mandatory course in educational institutions the world over! It's that fucking simple! 

 In between World Wars, Mother Earth was a pretty tense place, and it doesn't seem to be getting much better lately!

 How in the Hell is it possible that with over 30 gazillion people in the world, Peter Lorre is a character that has not, and possibly will not ever be created again?

That's "Father Knows Best's" Robert Young as Robert Marvin in the middle! One good rule, never trust a guy with two first names! On the left is Madeleine (The 39 Steps) Carroll as Elsa Carrington, and on the right is her husband Richard Ashenden as played by John (The Elephant Man) Gielgud. She's been given to him as a wife in a secret government plot to track down and kill a German agent. Basically a stranger, horndog Robert Marvin has picked up on the fact that they are not real close, and is doing everything humanly possible to get into Elsa's pants!

Elsa and Richard are having to get to know each other really quick!

Richard Ashenden is actually a novelist named Edgar Brodie who was publically killed off, but the bad guys are on to their little ruse!

Ashenden's partner on this job is yet another horny little character, Peter Lorre as a hired killer known as only "The General!" When he introduces himself to people he rattles off his full name, but I'm not sure if anybody really knows what he's saying! The two here have gone to this church to meet another operative, but what they find is the guy playing a solemn chord on the organ because somebody else already got to him. The only clue is that he's clutching a button in his hand. Here's a short little sound clip of "The General's" introduction, and the droning organ!

At a casino, an unfortunate fellow loses a button that falls onto the roulette table. Of course, it's the exact same kind of button that was found in the clutching hand!

They now have their man, now it just comes down to how will they dispose of him?

The man is an avid hiker, so the threesome plan a nice day outing together!

Not knowing the full depth of the mission, Elsa is almost catatonic when she finds out what they did!

It gets worse when they find out they got the wrong guy!! Only "The General" is non-repentant, Elsa and Richard have decided they've had enough of this job!

So Richard and Elsa find themselves falling in love for real, and decide to run off together and put all this nasty sordid business behind them!

I'm going to end this with these three awesome shots! For the rest of the story, you're just gonna have to go watch it yourself!

How about this shot? Sends shivers up my spine!!

I got my copy of "Secret Agent" at Big Lots for $3.99!  It's a two DVD set called "Alfred Hitchcock, Master Of Suspense," and not only includes "Secret Agent," but also nine other Hitchcock features including "The Lady Vanishes," and "The 39 Steps" and is definitely one of the deals of the century! Have a good weekend, take your vitamins, and don't text and drive!

FROM A WHISPER TO A SCREAM / Conquest Productions, Manson International - 1987

It's more March Madness as we present this flick about the uncle of an executed murderess who relates four horror stories to a reporter about an elderly man who pursues romance with a younger woman all the way to the grave, a wounded man on the run is rescued by a backwoods hermit with the secret to eternal life, a glass-eating carny pays the ultimate price for pursuing love with a normie and Civil War soldiers are held captive by a household of orphans with strange intentions. Original title is THE OFFSPRING.

We've got a little sound clip from this flick for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button over by our hoarse screaming mimi, NOW, Rufus The Gnat!.. Here's a taste of... FROM A WHISPER TO A SCREAM!

It starts with a reporter, Beth Chandler, played by Susan (FORBIDDEN ZONE) Tyrrell, questioning Julian White (Vincent Price) about the weird history of his hometown, Oldfield.

In the first story we get to peek in on some interesting goings-on taking place at the home of Stanley Burnside (Clu Gulager) as he pampers the demanding women in his life.

Boy, that ice pick on the floor sure looks like it could really shut this crazy bitch up!

Stanley makes the best of the situation by enjoying a Winston and a Budweiser. Don't worry, Stanley soon gets paid back in spades, no winners here!

The second story has this fool going trough the belongings of the old black hermit that saved him from dying in the swamp. Dude's interested in obtaining eternal life!

But, he gets caught and chopped into little pieces by the hermit!

Sometimes there's a big drawback to having eternal life!!

The next story is about what happens at the carnival stays at the carnival! Check it out, there's Angelo Rossitto as the barker in his very last acting role!

Anyway, when the glass eater decides to have a love affair with a girl outside the carnival, well, things don't turn out quite as planned!

Then, the last story stars Dungeon Hero, Cameron Mitchell, as a soldier who has a surreal experience after he and others are held captive by a house of orphans. This tale would remind you of a story from THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

Anyway again, Beth is loony as a the people she just learned about and Julian gets a knife in the throat for all his work! Join us again tomorrow for more March Madness...

COPLAN FX 18 CASSE TOUT - Michel Magne - "FX-18 Superspy" (1965)

Welcome to Wrinkleproof Wednesday down in The Dungeon, and another installment of our ongoing Euro-Spy Series sponsored by The Cult Action team! Tonight's feature is a French action thriller titled "Coplan Fx-18 Casse Tout," and sometimes "Phantom FX-18," or "FX-18 Superspy!"

 "FX-18 Super Spy" is an interesting enough movie, and it has a lot of action and some cool locations, the only real problem is that for me it's not exactly an engaging film! On Eegah's Sleep-O-Meter, it gets a three! That means I only fell asleep three times while watching it! I do have a short attention span though, I will admit it!

Richard (The Strange Door) Wyler has the main role of FX-18, Francis Coplan! Coplan is an interesting character with some real history! There were  some 237 novels written about Francis Coplan as created by Paul Kenny, the nom de plume of Belgian authors Gaston Van den Panhuyse and Jean Libert, and his character first appeared in a film called "Action Immédiate" in 1957 as played by Henri Vidal! Coplan cropped up again in 1964 played by Ken Clark in "Agent Secret FX-18," then again in 1964 in "Coplan Prend Des Risques" as played by Dominique Paturel. Then there was this film also released as "Coplan FX-18 Strike Again" followed by "Mexican Slayride" in 1967, and "Coplan Saves His Skin" in 1968! Finally, in the late 80's and early 90's there was a French TV show called "Coplan!"

The music in this film was once again created by Maestro Michel Magne, and swings a lot harder than in "Fantômas Vs. Scotland Yard!"  Michel really got a chance to stretch out this time around! Here's what it sounds like when this gal is doing the va va voom!

Coplan gets a little testy when the service is too slow!!

Coplan is pretty slick, after he shoots the waiter, he rushes over and tells everyone that's it's going to be okay, because he is a Doctor, and then he disappears before any authorities show up!

These French film makers were either very tricky or nuts, or possibly both, to try a stunt like this!

 Valeria (For A Few Dollars Less) Ciangottini is Gelda, the agent with a weird hang-up for dolls! I really didn't get this part! She's gonna get it though!

Now this is an authentic looking gangster!!

"Let me ask you one more time! Where is Gelda?"

Coplan doesn't have a lot of time to do the hanky-panky, but when he does........

Coplan even encounters trouble when he's in the john!!

Jany (Hercules Against The Moon Men) Clair as Héléna Jordan is putting the squeeze on Coplan!

This is the scene they decided to use on the poster! In a hot pursuit, Coplan gets the front tire of his motorcycle shot, so he has to continue chasing them in the wheelie position only riding on the rear wheel, and he still manages to shoot them and not get shot!

This place in Turkey call Korem looks pretty damn interesting!

An actual cool cave that's not on Jupiter!!

WTF?! They've got a rocket in there!!?

"C'mon man, I haven't got all night, it's your move!!"

Snuffed out by a scoop shovel like he was getting eaten by Godzilla, Gil (Kiss Of Fire) Delamare as Shaimoun, Coplan's best buddy, sees the last light of night. Besides being an actor, Gil Delamare was also a stunt man, and during the filming of his next movie, "The Saint Lies in Wait," a mere seven months later, he did a dangerous stunt that was not completely in control, and the car he was driving broke the rear axle, ejecting the passengers and trapping Gil! Gil Delamare was dead at the age of 41!