MORONS FROM OUTER SPACE / Thorn EMI Screen Entertainment - 1985

It's Moron Monday with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. We gots a wild little British flick about three aliens in space who are sick of their driver, Bernard, he doesn't take anything seriously and it's really getting on their nerves. While Bernard's playing space ball in the sports pod, the others accidentally disconnect that part from the ship, leaving him stranded while they are forced to crash land on Earth...

Eegah!! sent us over the catchy theme song, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button there by the space helmet, NOW, Ralphie The Tarantula! Here's our audio offering for... MORONS FROM OUTER SPACE!

Here's Bernard, played by the talented Mel Smith, who was in a ton of fun Brit projects. Mel has 42 credits playing himself!

Well, you can see the sports pod being detached, Bernard's in there kicking a ball around.

The others have to try and land the spacecraft as good as they can and end up scooting along on a British freeway, creating lots of melodrama!

Meanwhile, Bernard sits in the patio area, feeling sorry for himself until...

He gets picked up by this horny space jockey because the dude thinks he's a chick!

Bernard spills the beans and informs him that he's a guy, so, the thing ejects him and he has to enter into the Earth's atmosphere the hard way!

After a long nap and a lot of exterior noise, the other crew members finally open a door to see what's all the hubbub..

An agent sees millions in the novelty of a space alien band and creates a spaceship for them to enter the stage on!

They kick ass in the rock world!

Bernard finds them, but, they ain't that happy to see him...

A mother ship comes to rescue the lost aliens, so, it's time to say goodbye to all their fans.

And, leaves Bernard stranded once again!

GEBISSEN WIRD NUR NACHTS - Jerry Van Rooyen - "TheVampire Happening" (1971)

Tonight's Saturday Night Special is called "Gebissen Wird Nur Nachts" which translates literally into English as "Bitten At Night," but the English title is "The Vampire Happening!"

"The Vampire Happening" is a strange little Freddie Francis directed vampire sex romp comedy from 1971  that is a somewhat interesting movie! Does that make it any good? Well, not exactly!!

The story of Pia Charlotte Caminneci Degermark is an odd one at best! Her first film was "Elvira Madigan" for which she won the best actress award at the Cannes Film Festival in 1967! Four years and three films later, Pia made her last film titled "The Vampire Happening" that was produced by her husband! After that, her life became a jumbled up mess of anorexia and substance abuse! She's since recovered and is still alive somewhere today, and we wish her well!

In "The Vampire Happening" Pia plays an actress named Betty Williams, and this is a sample of the kind of people who watched her movies!

Betty Williams has just flown to Transylvania where she has inherited this castle! She originally came just to check it out and then sell the place, but that plan doesn't get her very far!

Betty is greeted by the caretaker of the joint, Yvor Murillo as Josef, in his one of only two film credits!

Upon arrival, Betty finds out that her Great Grandmother Clarimonde bears a striking resemblance to herself, and soon finds out that she was also a vampire that was feared throughout the land! Pia Degermark also has the role of Clarimonde of course, only with black tresses!

Pretty cool looking shot from the flashback dream sequence, I have to admit!

"The Vampire Happening" is chock full of sexual innuendos like these servings of pudding and the mossy base of this tree!

Believe it or don't but we had no knowledge of this film when Tabonga.......

...........created this clock for "13 O'Clock Theatre!"

The music used in "The Vampire Happening" was created by Jerry (Küss Mich, Monster) Van Rooyen!! My favourite part of the whole film is the little snippet in the sound clip of the broadcast from "Transylvania Radio!" Now that's freakin' funny!

It's impossible to have a good Euro vampire tale without some kind of girl's school involved!

Cool! This vampire has gold crowns!

Here's where the real 'Happening' comes into play! It's a big vampire party and orgy replete with a genuine vampire band!!

Dracula comes to the 'Happening' in his own private company whirlybat!

This just might be the only time you will ever see a picture of a vampire eating a banana! Ferdy (The Fearless Vampire Killers) Mayne has the role of Dracula!!

It's not like I forgot to tell you the story, it's just that it's not really that important!

Dracula carries a player's card and is welcomed to the free 'all you can eat' buffet!!!

When the sun comes up, the party is over, and the vampires go down!!

I've always been of the mind that comedies should be funny for some strange reason, because if they're not, they are kind of meaningless, but like vampires, "The Vampire Happening" mostly just bites and sucks!

MOLE MEN AGAINST THE SON OF HERCULES / Interfilm - 1961

It's What The Maciste in Hell Copy-Cat Friday with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. Since Eegah!! just posted one on Wednesday, one good sword and sandal flick deserves another! We gots a story about a mysterious band of white-clad marauders who dwell in an underground city. Maciste and his new friend, Bangor, allow themselves to be captured by the Mole Men where they are forced to turn an enormous wheel along with other captives, part of a gold-and-diamonds mining operation. The underground city's queen is impressed by Maciste and chooses him to be her consort if he can meet a number of challenges, like battling a giant ape! The Mole Men will instantly dissolve whenever they get caught in sunlight.

Eegah!! sent over a cool lil' soundclip with the catchy theme "The Mighty Sons Of Hercules" with a little sunlit drama from the underworld at the end, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button located there next to the moldy old loin cloth, NOW, Rufus The Gnat! Here's our audio offering for... MOLE MEN AGAINST THE SON OF HERCULES!

Mark Forest plays Maciste, here he is pulling a huge whale onto the beach... All by hisself!!! Mark also starred in GOLIATH AND THE DRAGON, SON OF SAMSON, COLOSSUS OF THE ARENA, GOLIATH AND THE SINS OF BABYLON, HERCULES AGAINST THE BARBARIANS, THE LION OF THEBES, HERCULES AGAINST THE SONS OF THE SUN, THE MAGNIFICENT GLADIATOR and KINDAR THE INVULNERABLE. He only worked in movies from 1960-65, and, get this... He used the money he made making gladiator movies in Italy to study opera and currently teaches it in the LA area!

Maciste befriends Bangor after saving his life from the Mole Men. American bodybuilder Paul Wynter plays Bangor.

This is underground Queen Halis Mosab, played by Moira Orfei, who was also in a number of sword and sandal flicks. She definitely gots the look!

Here's everbloody turning the gigantic mining wheel, working in the pits, looking for the olives!

I guess they're in Africa now, but anyway, Maciste has to face off against this big deadly ape. Maciste barely wins with a choke hold!

This is the secret opening-and-closing entrance the Mole Men use whenever they want to come to the surface.

You can hear this poor soul whine at the end of the soundclip, to not be toasted by the sunlight, however, ends up a meatless skeleton from the exposure!

This is one wild 'n' weird part here, Maciste has to support this giant weight to save his friends as the Mole Men keep adding big slabs to it! Believe or not, Maciste stands up straight, sending all the weights tumbling off the posts, thus winning the day... Wow!

They even gas our hero while he sleeps... Hey, his pillow looks like a woman's butt!

Finally, Maciste uses a giant chain to wrap around the main pillar, then, him and Bangor turn the wheel, taking up the slack and bringing down the house!!