CAPTAIN VIDEO Master Of The Stratosphere / Columbia Pictures Corporation - 1951

It's another end-of-the-year Friday with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. We gots one of the last Columbia serials, so, there's a lot of familiar looking hardware. This serial gets high marks mainly for its gadgets and especially, their names. For example... The 'hose-inator' sucks up poisonous gas, an 'inertializer' that paralyzes the bad guys, bombs can be defused by an 'anti-detonator,' giant binoculars named 'scanning goggles,' the 'atmospheric locator,' the 'magnetic impulse detector,' the 'diathermic accelerator,' the 'cloak of invisibility,' a 'stethapod,' an 'interference ray,' and, don't forget the very popular.. 'cosmic vibrator!'

The tinted sequences seemed lame so I desaturated the pics. And, Eegah!! sent over a great lil' soundclip for our listening experience, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button over there, NOW, Rufus The Gnat! Here's our audio offering for... CAPTAIN VIDEO!

Judd Holdren is Captain Video. Judd had an interesting film career, he played Larry Martin in ZOMBIES OF THE STRATOSPHERE, Ranger Higgins in ROCKY JONES, SPACE RANGER and Commando Cody in COMMANDO CODY: SKY MARSHALL OF THE UNIVERSE. He was also in ROCKETSHIP X-M, THE LOST PLANET, THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN and SPACE MASTER X-7. Here he is driving out of his hidden lair in the same futuristic wheels that Vena drove in Rocky Jones!

The Video Rangers are full of tricks when it comes to fighting crime, on Earth or otherwise!..

There's plenty of space travel, natcherly, and there's an Earth scientist, Dr. Tobor!, willing to help aliens conquer our world.

Gene Roth looks hilarious as dictator Vultura from the planet Atoma! He directs a bunch of meteors at the meddling Captain Video and his Ranger pal.

Meteors destroy their ship so they seek refuge in the tail section, and, end up safely on the surface of Atoma (Chatsworth)!

Hey Boss, lookit!.. Freakin' BINGO!!

Get this, animators from Columbia studios cartooned all spaceships whenever they were in space! They were always quickly whizzing by to make it hard to notice a lot of detail.

Hey, Vultura! Suck in that gut, will ya?!..

Weird gadgets, robots from RADIO RANCH and a frozen stiff Cap'n Video, this thing has it all!!

I'll give myself a little credit for this joke I came up with for their 'space platform,' so, here goes... When you poop in space, no one can smell it!

LA BESTIA UCCIDE A SANGUE FREDDO - Silvano Spadaccino - "Slaughter Hotel" (1971)

Tonight's film is going to be what I think is the last in my " Let's Beat Bad Giallo Films To A Bloody Pulp" series!! Because of this film, I have sliced all the Giallo movies out of my Netflix Queue except a couple of classier Argento titles because I've just had enough! "La Bestia Uccide A Sangue Freddo" has been released with at least 4 different titles in English from "Asylum Erotica" to "The Beast Kills In Cold Blood," so what's that tell you? Cult smult, this is just a piece of shit!

Here it is, the "Slaughter Hotel," a mental hospital for sick rich bitches, and of course there's a serial killer lurking in the shadows and not getting noticed by anybody as he goes about his dirty business!

This is not only a bad horror movie, it's also a bad porn flick, and the music by Silvano Spadaccino doesn't improve the situation at all! By the way, today's date is 12-12-12, just shy of 13 in case you failed to notice!

Rosalba Neri there in the middle of the shot screws everyone and everything she can get her hands on, and speaking of hands on, if you think good film making is real big straight on closeups of vaginas being manipulated to bad music in between killings, then this is the movie for you because it happens at least twice!

Klaus Kinski adds nothing to the non-plot! Remember, anything plus nothing is still nothing! Zero, zilch, nada, nichts!!!

The nurse on the right has another job, as the second big vagina closeup flasher!

When they finally trap the killer, and there's only like three minutes left in the movie, he manages to escape somehow and bludgeon another handful of chicks before the movie ends!! Like it wasn't bad enough already!!

If they would have just shot the sumbitch at the beginning of the film, it would have saved us all a lot of time!! My professed purpose here is to make you want to see movies, no matter how bad they are, but I just can't do that with flicks like this, and so I won't!

THE UNKNOWN TERROR / Emirau Productions - 1957

Itz Monster Monday with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. We gots a redo from 2008 with a far out story that takes place in the Cave Of Death in Mexico. It stars John (THE UNDYING MONSTER) Howard, Mala (THE COLOSSUS OF NEW YORK) Powers and Paul (MEN INTO SPACE) Richards.

Other Regalscope movies include SHE DEVIL, KRONOS, BACK FROM THE DEAD, ROCKABILLY BABY and SPACE MASTER X-7.

Three explorers hear an old Indian legend about the Cave of the Dead, a place where human sacrifices were made to the Gods in the past. They find Dr. Ramsey, played by Gerald (THE NAKED KISS) Milton, who's married to a native girl, Concha, played by May (THE VIOLENT MEN) Wynn, and when asked, he claims to have no knowledge of the cave in question. But, he's there because the climate in the cave is ideal for rapid fungus growth and his work on cultivating fungus for antibiotics. He wants to keep it secret...

Eegah!! sent over a musical soundclip of Sir Lancelot doing his version of a song by Raoul Kraushaar and Dave Kahn, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button there next to the nuclear pile, NOW, Ralphie The Tarantula! Here's Sir Lancelot performing in... THE UNKNOWN TERROR!

The cave is discovered and good old fire is again used to fight off the fungus!

The definitive publicity shot from this film. It looks interesting!..

Another publicity still that shows how an artist had to come in with some black lines to get a little contrast... Looks weird!

Two lobby cards showing the 'monster.' Pink borders?.. I don't get it!

This flick actually made our '25 WORST MOVIES' list in our original DWRAYGER DUNGEON magazine rag in 1964, it was #24 - Quote... THE UNKNOWN TERROR was about a bunch of oatmeal that went around getting on people. It was really a gob of fungus. A professor made it and thought it was a fun trick. The hero didn't, so he destroyed it. The professor cried, wouldn't you?

Here's a shot of Sir Lancelot from CURSE OF THE CAT PEOPLE in his role as Edward. He had a total of 15 acting credits, his last role was on THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW in 1967, and he lived to be an amazing 98 years old!..

We'll end it with these nice lobby cards from four classic movies that featured the Sir!..

FUEGO - José Solá - "The Phantom Of The Ferris Wheel" (1964)

Writer and Producer Sidney Pink was the man responsible for the 60's classics "The Angry Red Planet," "Reptilicus," and "Journey To the Seventh Planet," but Sid claimed that "Pyro...The Thing Without A Face" was the favourite movie that he made, even though he really preferred the title "The Phantom of The Ferris Wheel!"

Life is  like a Ferris Wheel, it goes round and round but everybody has to get off at some point! The first Ferris Wheel was designed by George W. Ferris for the 1893 World's Fair in Chicago! Since that time it has become a staple at amusement parks and carnivals around the world!

A man with very little horror in his credit list except for this film, and "Planet Of The Vampires," the very talented Barry Sullivan is Vance Pierson, a Ferris Wheel admiring engineer assigned a new job that requires him to relocate to Spain where this film was made!

Just to prove it's Spain, we are immediately treated to some of the local colour!

From the looks of the grill design, Vance is given a 1961 Plymouth Valiant to cruise around in! The one I used to own was a blue '59! When I sold it, I told the guy to fix the brakes before driving it too far, but instead he gave the keys to his girlfriend who drove it to San Francisco and immediately wrecked it!!

Vance goes out looking for a house for him and his wife and daughter to live in and stumbles upon the gorgeous Martha Hyer as Laura Blanco getting ready to torch her house for some insurance money! Their relationship is immediately tumultuous and they end up in the sack together in no time at all! Except for "Sweet Martha Lorraine," I think Martha is just about the least sexiest name for a hot blonde I can think of, but Martha Hyer proves me wrong! Martha was in some great movies like "Abbott And Costello Go to Mars," "Riders To The Stars," and "House Of 1000 Dolls" before she retired in 1973!

Vance's wife is played by Sherry (Rocketship X-M, Mesa Of Lost Women) Moreland, and his relationship with her, and his home life goes completely to Hell as quick as you can say Jack Robinson........

.........while his affair with Laura just keeps getting hotter and hotter!!!!

Then, in a club on New Year's Eve, to the swinging sounds of José Solá,
Vance decides to call it all off!!!! Amazing, there just happens to be a Ferris Wheel centerpiece on their table! How ironic!

To say that Laura doesn't take it very well, would be a massive understatement as she torches the Pierson home with Vance's wife and daughter inside! Vance was leaving to go somewhere, but had a bad feeling, and turned around, but was too late to save his family from cremation!!

Vance ends up like a burnt piece of meat from head to toe, and when Laura comes to visit him, even though he can barely move or talk, he vows vengeance on her and her whole family!

Now it gets a little vague right about here, but somehow, by some miracle, Vance manages to escape from the hospital and end up looking like a normal person again! After some time passes, and Laura's Mother gets burned up at home, the authorities start looking for Vance, even though they have no idea where he is or what he looks like, or how he could even be remotely responsible!

Vance now has a completely different look, and works as the guy who runs the Ferris Wheel at a traveling carnival show! His assistant is a very young Soledad Miranda as Liz Frade, the daughter of the owner of the show!

Soledad Miranda has never looked cuter or more innocent on celluloid, but then this is a few years before hooking up with Jesus Franco, and making films like "Vampyros Lesbos," "She Killed In Ecstasy," and "Eugenie Sex Happening!"

One day Liz catches a glimpse of one of Vance's burnt and deformed hands, and he has to think fast to try and explain it to her, and cover his ass with some kind of cock and bull story about having a prosthetic hand!

Who could possibly look cuter than Soledad Miranda in a rain slicker?? The answer is: Nobody!!

Meanwhile, Laura has been hiding out on an island with her pyromaniac daughter who was a gift from her own Father!! The daughter sneaks away one day to the mainland where the carnival has set up, and gives away Mom's hiding place to the kind and benevolent Vance!

Vance makes it on over to the island in the dead of night, and has quite the surprise for ex-lover Laura when he pulls off his rubber mask and reveals his true burnt, scarred, and still alive self!!

Just like riding a Ferris Wheel, "Pyro" starts at the end, and ends where it started! Everybody has to pay to get on, and like I said, everybody has to eventually get off too!!