SANTA CLAUS - Antonio Diaz Conde - "The Fabulous Realm of the Candy-Stick Palaces!" (1959)

I'm not kidding, "SANTA CLAUS" just might be THE creepiest movie I saw this year. If you have thought that there was some kind of weird correlation between Santa and Satan, well, then this is the film that's going to push you over the edge of disbelief!

First off, Santa doesn't live at the North Pole, Santa lives in heaven!

Santa has a Nativity Scene! Those people who made the Post Man up in Washington state stop wearing a Santa Claus suit because it offended them, should be mandated to watch this film 5 or 6 times in a row while subsiding on a diet of nothing but churros and horchatas!

It looks like the designer's of Santa'a pad were from some place like Istanbul or Baghdad!

Get thee behind me K. Gordon Murray!! The music for "Santa Claus" was composed by the brilliant Antonio Díaz Conde, with a big tip of the hat to James Pierpont, the composer of the original "Jingle Bells." Antonio has at least 269 composing credits to his name! We've written about him many times before because of movies like "Neutron Battles The Karate Assassins," "The Robot Versus The Aztec Mummy," and "El Planeta De Las Mujeres Invasoras" etc, etc forever! K. Gordon Murray himself does the narration!

I'd like to focus on one thing, all the childrens of the world are up there too, helping Santa do his thing, kind of like Disneyland's agonizing "It's A Small World" ride! But.......

Isn't all this just too cute? Cute kids, cute sets, but........

......then, WTF!? All the kids are now packing heat!! I really got a little mixed-up at this point, but I guess that's because too many things go smashing into each other all at the same time, and maybe something got a little confused in the translation!!

For some reason, the brats from America are little redneck geeks singing way out of tune!! I could explain all this, but it would obviously be a waste of time.

José Luis Aguirre 'Trotsky' is El Diablo! So, just what the Hell is the Devil doing in a Santa Claus Christmas story? I told you it was an effed up mess!

Is this plastic Santa a dig at commercial values, or just freakin' weird?

"Steal the doll, Lupita, take the doll, it's what you want, and what you need, take the doll Lupita!" Yep, that's right! This innocent child is being tempted and tormented by The Devil himself! Like he doesn't have anything better to do!

Here's how Santa Claus keeps track of who is naughty and who is nice, with a gigantic freakin' telescope!! Can you spell "Big Brother?"

It's hard for me to imagine what life is like in a house that has lighting like this 24/7!! What's in the box Pops, a giant magnum of champagne or a refrigerator?

Satan comes back to torture Lupita in her dreams, this poor girl doesn't stand a chance!

Just when you thought it couldn't get any weirder!!

This shot of Lupita just screams Merry Christmas, doesn't it!! If you can imagine it, this film would be Lupita Quezadas's only appearance on celluloid! Do you think she was possibly emotionally scarred by the whole process?

I like that fact that the people who made this movie seem like they had never heard of Santa Claus, Rudolph and the other reindeer, or "The Night Before Christmas" before! They just made up their own rules as they went along!!

If you really want to, you can find "Santa Claus" streaming on Netflix, or if you just want to watch the trailer, head on over to The Professor's place, "Magic Carpet Burnout!" Merry Christmas to all and to all a freakin' good night!!!

Late Breaking News: "Santa Claus" can be had as a free download at the Internet Archive........Go and get your love right HERE!!!

NUDE ON THE MOON / Moon Productions - 1961

Welcome to Friday Night Drive-In with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon! This is Tabonga's Xmas present to all you good little Kedsos out there...

The story goes like this... Dr. Huntley and Professor Nichols are able to complete work on their rocket because of an unexpected inheritance. They travel to the Moon and find a lush garden paradise inhabited by half naked, telepathic Moon girls! The Moon Goddess allows the spacemen to continue their experiments and Dr. Huntley begins falling in love with her. The Professor worries that he will not be able to get the doc to return to Earth with him...

Daniel Hart gets a music editor credit for this movie, Daniel also worked on THE DIRTY GIRLS! As you can see, the theme song was written by Judith Kushner, Doris Wishman is producer, Bunny Yeager is still photographer.

Lettuce bring in our little Dungeon helper and button pusher, the one, the only, Rufus The Gnat!! Hello 'der, Rufus! The lil' guy is here to fulfill his Friday Night duty and get this show on the road! So, no more jokes, push the big red 'GO' button once again, now, Rufus! Here's... NUDE ON THE MOON!

Here's the Professor talking to the secretary, Cathy. William Mayer plays the Professor, he was in 4 other nudie flicks and played himself in the nudist documentary, BEHIND THE NUDIST CURTAIN. Marietta plays Cathy/The Moon Goddess, this will be her only role.

Here's dimple faced Lester Brown as Dr. Huntley, who we'll just call Jeff. And, like Marietta, this was his only film role...

Nice shot of this theater that just happens to be showing Doris Wishman's first film, HIDEOUT IN THE SUN!

Jeff has this classic 1960 Oldsmobile convertible that they drive to the launch pad in. In 1960, my older cousins took Eegah!! and me to a drive-in where we got to see NOT TONIGHT HENRY! And, we went in a 1960 Olds!!

They climb the scaffolding in tandem and enter their new spaceship...

After Jeff tells ground control a fart joke, he releases the emergency brake and jams it into first gear!

They quickly travel from the Earth to the Moon. The Earth rotates in reverse and the continents are backwards, whatever.

There's no mention of any prop department, so, no telling where this miniature set and rocket model came from!

The obviously virile space gods emerge from their ship!

Hey doc, check it out, we must'a blown up on the way here and gone to heaven!

The way it was meant to be!

Yeah, no grunt Sherlock, nekkid Moon chicks! Wowzie wowzie woo woo!!

Hello, I saw you on the can earlier, you must be the Queen!

This 83 minute movie was filmed at the Coral Castle in Homestead, Florida.

Jeffie and The Moon Goddess seem to be hitting it off!

Gotta love those Moon Girls, they just do what comes natural!

The Moon Girls wave goodbye to the brave astronuts!

They fly their butane fueled ship back to Earth.

Back on Earth, the Professor walks in on Jeff imagining Cathy in the nude!!

And, I even had that rocket model Jeff's holding!