DARK UNIVERSE / A Sharan Production - 1993

Welcome to Friday Frights wif' Tabonga, here at The Dungeon! Whut we gots tonite is considered a true 'crap classic' in all it's awful glory... You know it's true when the best thing about it is definitely some boobs!! Fred Olen Ray was exec. producer, so, that e'splains that!

Two other things... First, most of the actors are producers! Second, NASA is made up of one guy, Joe Estevez!

Eegah!! gave us a nice roller coaster ride with our Eariffic Earclip. Music is by Jeffrey Walton and this was his very first project and is working today. He also worked on ATTACK OF THE 60 FOOT CENTERFOLDS, BIKINI DRIVE-IN, DROID GUNNER, CURSE OF THE PUPPET MASTER, THE FACE OF THE SERPENT and RENFIELD THE UNDEAD.

Okay then, it's that time! Time to bring in our little Dungeon helper and buddy, buddy... Ralphie The Tarantula! Hit that 'GO' button!!.. DARK UNIVERSE!

I like this shot as the rocket plummets toward the Earth at night!

Just before Steve, the guy in the spaceship, crashes, Joe watches him morph into a... monster from the dark universe! It's said that Joe complained, even though he got the top billing, he was hardly ever seen! Oh, and, we'll refer to the monster from now on as... Steve!

Laurie Sherman and Bently (whotta name!) Tittle watch as the rocket plows into the swamp outside their thatched opening!

All the science bozos arrive on the scene and they need a guide. That would be Bently.

After the camera guy and the news lady tape a segment, they decide to have a little fun! Get this, the guy can't get his shirt unbuttoned because he's nervous!.. LAME!!

As he goes down on her, something goes up his butt!.. Poetic justice?

Lookit, jackass, he who smelt it... Dealt it!! Grow up!

Wait, you're not my mommie!

When Steve jabs you with his javelin-like tongue, he quickly sucks out all those tasty life juices.. m-m-m-m, nummie!

This is Tabonga's pic to ponder...

Since they left the food in the airboat, big guy here's extra hungry! So, he thinks... Hmmm, you know, I might as well experiment with some of these tasty looking local delicasies!

Okay, that's a decent looking buffalo wing! Amazing, what science can do...

And, well, that looks pretty appetizing, doesn't it??

But, a little warning, watch out for that damn wild chili salsa, it's got a real bite!! ¡Ay, caramba!!!

Things ain't goin' that great for lover boy, and that foot long worm finally comes out of the big zit on his neck! It literally 'pops' out, too!!

It's funny as Hell when Steve breaks through the flimsy material of the hut, where Laurie's working on her oil painting! Then, Bently decides to take Steve on with a knife!.. What an idiot, he can always get another girlfriend!

This is what Steve sees right before he massacres you!

So, what do you think happens next?.. Tune in tomorrow for Saturday Shock, here at The Dungeon!

Ghoulnight Everbloody!

IM STAUD DER STERNE - Karl-Ernst Sasse - "In The Dust Of The Stars" (1976)

Time to get back on the wacky track with some good old fashioned East German space opera, circa 1976, and it doesn't get much wackier than this production, "Im Staub Der Sterne," or as they say auf Englisch, "In The Dust Of The Stars."

Well, it all starts out something like this: After six years in space, the Spaceship Cyrno gets a distress call from a planet named TEM 4, so they land on TEM 4 in order to check it out, and are greeted by this friendly native girl!

Tonight's story is brought to you courtesy of the Pickwick Record Company!

This is the gang! They've arrived just in time to get the news that there was no distress call at all, but before they take off, they are more than welcome to party with the locals!!

Hey, do any of you Earthlings want to try one of these Margarita Fast Blasts? The blue ones are sweet, and the red ones are a little spicy!!

Here, take a big hit like this!

While the dancing girls come out, it's a good opportunity to tell you that the crazy ass interstellar music for "Im Staub Der Sterne" was written by Herr Karl-Ernst Sasse, whose music was also used when they re-released the 1920 silent film "The Golem" in 1977. Karl composed the music for over 160 German films, the last one being "The Einstein of Sex: Life and Work of Dr. M. Hirschfeld," released in 1999!

Anybody up for some spicy intergalactic sushi and tempura??

After a little socializing, it's time to break out the BIG hits!! Yeehaw!!!

Meanwhile, let's see what's going on outside in the park! It's lucky for the producers that the air is breathable on Tem 4, because these scenes would have a completely different feel if the dancing girls had on helmets and space suits!!

Leon Niemczyk is heartthrob Thob! Yeah, who's the freakin' Boss here? Bring him out, because I want to talk to him!!

The girls had such a good time partying, they're doing a conga line back onto the ship, but it seems like it was all just a distraction, a cruel ruse!

Alfred Struwe as Suko stayed back while the girls and Thob were out enjoying themselves, and out in the middle of nowhere he found what appears to be a ventilator shaft, but is really an entrance to the underground!

East Germany, huh, salt mines, huh, oppression, depression, confusion, illusion, do the hokey pokey, that's what it's all about!

Jiggers, the Cops!!!!

They caught Suko and try to extract information from him! Even after getting returned to the others, he's never quite the same!

Who did the decorating in the Royal Palace, Max Headroom??

Ekkehard Schall is The Boss known as Chief! He digs snakes and games, and changes his hair colour on a whim! Perfect for the part, Ekkehard was quite the stage actor, and was well known for his work in plays by Brecht.

Jana Brejchová as Captain Akala sees right through The Chief's bullshit!! Among Jana's many roles, she was The Queen in 18 episodes of the 1993 TV show, "Arabela Se Vrací."

The crazy imagery and colours are non-stop on this wild rocket ride!

Regine Heintze as Miu and Captain Akala express their disdain when they find out what's really going on! Darn those guys anyway!!

The toiling people's party has the last word...

...while the Clown Prince Boss Chief struts his stuff!!

"C'Mon baby, do the Locomotion!" Unlike the future as portrayed in this movie, little did they know 35 years ago, that in the real future, you would be able to have a copy of their little East German film delivered to your house in the boondocks for $9.95 a month, and while that's pretty cool, I still want my flying car too!!