HAVE ROCKET--WILL TRAVEL - Duning/Styne - "Somebody Dropped A Rocket" (1959)

"Have Rocket--Will Travel" is an insane movie for sure, but the most insane part is that it is almost impossible to find a copy for some damn reason, I mean come on, it's the freakin' Three Stooges! Doesn't every person alive deserve to see everything ever done by the Three Stooges or what? What's wrong with the world today? (Breaking News!! I searched for almost two years to find a copy of this movie, and as I wrote this, I just found this Crackle site where "Have Rocket Will Travel" streams full screen beautifully, Enjoy, because this is your lucky day!) The world is redeemed for one fleeting moment!!

Sweet stock shot to get things rolling, and set the scene at the "National Space Foundation!"

Our heroes Larry, Moe, and Curly-Joe are the Maintenance Men at the facility, that reads, I.E. janitors, three each! I don't think I have ever in my life had anybody tell me that they thought the Three Stooges were gay! They just slept together because they were good buddies! It didn't have to be sexual back in the 50's! And to think people want to talk crap about SpongeBob!

A dud rocket lands by their living quarters with a monkey in it, and when they get digging to get to the hatch, Moe bends the pick on Curly-Joe's head! Kids, don't try this trick at home!!

This is so stupid, it's one of my favorite gags, where they are trying to lift up a hatch door, that they're standing on!!

They finally get in to save the monkey and there's this cute scene where Curly-Joe and the monkey are making faces at each other....

....and right at the cut, the little sumbitch puts his head down and bites Curly-Joe right on the hand! Tabonga told me that both Curly-Joe and Joe Besser admitted that they didn't dig being Stooges that much, because they got hurt too much, and I believe it!! The original iconic Curly Howard died way back in 1952 and was never in a full length Stooges flick! His position was then filled by Shemp Howard (the original third member), Joe Besser as Joe, who quit after two years because he didn't like getting hit, and finally Joe DeRita as Curly-Joe!

The boys take a lab coffee break with beautiful scientist Anna-Lisa as Dr. Ingrid Naarveg, who they are very smitten with!

I just like this shot of the three of them!! Moe Howard was 62 years old when this film was made!

In order to help Dr. Ingrid, the boys invent a new rocket fuel by putting everything in the lab including popcorn in a big vat. Larry accidentally becomes a victim of the big switcheroo, and drinks some of the rocket fuel!

The music for "Have Rocket--Will Travel" was conducted by another Dungeon fave, Mischa Bakaleinikoff, who might be the all time champion of composers with a massive 458 credits either as Composer, Musical Director, or Composer of stock music!

Their launch into space was one big mistake, and then they land on Venus, which looks suspiciously like the foothills of California!!

Wonder where they got this idea, the movie, "Tarantula" was made 4 years earlier! Well, at least they mixed it up a little and made this Venusian tarantula be able to shoot death rays at their butts!

The original theme song music was written by George Duning, and the lyrics were written by Stanley Styne, and the song is reprised here after the boys meet a Talking Unicorn on Venus, and find out they can breathe!

The Talking Unicorn leads them to this totally bitchin' Venusian Space Car that was probably a Mercury, since they were the only company cool enough to have cars named The Comet, or The Meteor. Shows you where it got them since Ford decided to drop the whole Mercury line as of this year!

Next they are taken to see the Grandmaster of Venus, the big guy in charge, The Talking Robot!!

First thing the robot does is shrink them down to size, and put them in a bird cage!

Then the big boss robot does a mind meld on them, which creates an exact set of duplicated evil Stooge robots, who chase them around for a while until they are able to finally escape, get back past the giant tarantula again, and blast off back to earth! Whew!!

Once safely back on earth, the boys are treated like the heroes that they really are!

But these are The Three Stooges we're talking about, so before you know it, Larry's on his knees getting stomped on the dance floor, Curly-Joe gets a face full of cake, and a spring stuck on his butt, and like always, Moe just loses it!

Nadia Sanders is the tall and gorgeous calm before the storm!

And then before you know it again, all Hell is breaking out at this high society party, and everybody is getting involved, but it's not like it was unexpected!

The evil robots followed them all the way back to earth, so the boys ditch the whole scene, steal the Mercury, and head back out into space and The End!! It's a beautiful moment!!

THE HORROR OF IT ALL / Lippert Pictures - 1963

Hello everbloody, an' welcome to another Friday Night Drive-In with Dungeon host Tabonga and lil' Dungeon hunchback helper, Ralphie The Tarantula!.. Our feature stars Pat (JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH) Boone and a great British cast!

Our storyline tonight from this hard to find flick (another Prof. Grewbeard 'find') is pretty simple... "American salesman Jack Robinson falls in love with Englishwoman Cynthia Marley and they visit her family so he can ask for permission to marry her. She points out to him that her relatives are rather eccentric and, by the way, a cousin has just died."

Directed by Terence (THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN) Fisher and Ray (MR. SARDONICUS) Russell was the writer.

The music is quite jazzy and the gratuitous "The Horror Of It All" is sung by Pat, which would be a perfect pick for RADIO 13!!!..

The music is by Douglas Gamley, he had a decent run of 36 composing credits from 1956-83, and includes TOM THUMB, PORTRAIT OF A SINNER, THE UGLY DUCKLING, HORROR HOTEL, TALES FROM THE CRYPT, ASYLUM, MADHOUSE and more!

Ralphie just informed Tabonga telepathically that it's time to send you our Eariffic Earclip to yer awaiting earifice, and for the total satisfaction of that big organ of yer's called.. yer brain! So, why would Tabonga disagree wif' dat?! Hit der 'GO' button, Ralphie!.. THE HORROR OF IT ALL!

On the way to meet his fiancee's relatives in England, Pat, who plays John J. 'Jack' Robinson, crashes his car and has to walk the final distance to his destination. Once he gets there, the note reads... "NO peddlers allowed! Ring bell at your own risk!!"

Once inside the mansion, Jack and Cynthia get to talk about their plans to be married...

Sultry beauty Andree (BRIDES OF DRACULA) Melly plays Natalia Marley, the crazy but sexy cousin! Andree's brother was British jazz singer George Melly.

Jack gets to meet the rest of the family and some of their ancestors!

Jack gets caught in a giant man-trap!

Natalia sure knows how to enjoy herself!

Grandpapa Marley has his own mad lab, what else?! Jack's very interested in what's going on in there...

And, here's Pat singing the aforementioned novelty tune... "The Horror Of It All!"

Grandpapa ends up having just a little too much fun!

Jack finds some interesting things in the basement.

We always love these sneaky peepers here at The Dungeon!

What good is a horror flick without a human-crushing elevator room?

There are a few more surprises for Jack before the story winds down!

All the dirty little secrets are revealed at the end, then Jack and Cynthia get to hear their wedding bells ring!!