CARNAGE / Andy Milligan - 1984

Hello everbloody, an' welcome to The Friday Night Frights wif' Tabonga and lil' assistant Ralphie the Tarantula, here at the Dungeon...

The story goes like this... A newlywed couple move into an old house they just bought, which is haunted by the ghosts of another newlywed couple who commited suicide there a few years earlier.

The movie starts with a double murder/suicide bride/groom wedding/funeral happy/sad thing in some dark room in their new/old house! Andy Milligan wrote, directed and did the cinematography for this dingy little cheapskate.

Boy, Andy sure knows a lot of weird looking people there in old New York City!! We'll be doing more of Andy's bizarro work in the future with titles like TORTURE DUNGEON, GURU, THE MAD MONK and THE RATS ARE COMING! THE WEREWOLVES ARE HERE!! So, stay tuned for that!!

There's absolutely no mention of any kind of music, so it's all probably lifted from somewhere. One interesting sound segment Eegah!! included has some nice spooky stuff with a theramin, which sounds very professionally done. Hey, that's one way to try and polish a turd!

'GO' button pusher Ralphie is sitting here, ready to start the show all rolling and whatnot! You know what, Tabonga always like the term, cattywompus! Butt anyways, here's today's Eariffic Earclip... CARNAGE!

Oh baby, I feel so grown up! (pant pant) I just can't wait to!..

...Scare the hell out of you like the 7 year old brat I really am!!

The old 'person pretending to be a covered chair in the storage room' gag is always good for a cheap thrill!

Things start going haywire! You watch objects move with strings in the shadows, or turn on the wall, obviously being manipulated on a peg by someone behind the wall, with no kind of dexterity, all herky-jerky and the like, and well, it's just plain... Stoopid!!

It only takes a minute for this visiting mother and daughter team to turn on each other!

This lady who came over is attacked by the ghost bride in the basement and ends up sick in the head and bedridden!

Later, she becomes elated, then slits her own throat!

Then, the bride ghost catches some prowlers in the basement. She chops one dude's hand off and pulls this guy's guts out.. She has a ton-o-fun doing it, too!

Hey, was that a mouse?!..

No... Guess not!!

When people die, ministers do their thang!

The minister is asked to come over and try to get rid of the ghosts, but gets a hatchet in the skull instead!!

Oh, honey, I have a little surprise for you!!

Welp... Here we go again!!

LISA E IL DIAVOLO - Carlo Savina - "Lisa And The Devil In The House Of Exorcism" (1974)

Well, let me see if I can make an ass of myself by putting together back to back, or as it were in this case, head to bald head, movies that starred cool & crazy dude Telly Savalas, who even though he can be pretty creepy, didn't make a whole lot of horror films, but then those 118 episodes of "Kojak" kept him pretty locked down from 1973 to 1978!

"Lisa And The Devil", a title re-released as "The House Of Exorcism" is a weird movie, and why shouldn't it be, it's just another in a long line of strange films from Mario Bava, who knows more than a few things about weird, and it ain't no coincidence that the bald demonic cat in that fresco looks just like Telly Savalas, or as he is known here, Leandro!!

60's blonde goddess, the lovely Elke Sommer as Lisa, turns in quite a performance as the victim, and also evil personified, in some very nice flesh!!

Mr. Telly Savalas as Leandro is just a little strange, and has quite the dummy fetish, but is mostly just misunderstood! Right!

This here get together of the bodyless leftovers raises a lot of money every year in their annual Telly-Thon!! Call in right now with your donation, that's 1-800-666-7734, our operator's are on permanent standby and are waiting!!

It's all too much for Lisa, and she does a tailspin from Hades, and ends up where even God doesn't know! That Elke is quite an actress! That's quite a look for a beauty queen! They say Elke was fluent speaking in seven languages, but I don't think talking in tongues was one of them!

Hey!!! This woman is sick, somebody call an ambulance!!! Are you sure you don't want to take her temperature first? At least her eyes rolled back into her head!!

Here's a shot of Leandro partying with a few of his closest and most beloved friends, who all came over to watch Telly-Mundo on the Telly-Vision with him!!

The devilish music for this film was composed by Carlo Savina, a man with a long history of making music for Italian films with titles that translate into English like "The Mini-Skirt Murders," "Crypt Of The Vampire," "Hey Amigo, A Toast To Your Death," "Mr. Superinvisible," and "School of Erotic Enjoyment."

There's just one small problem, All of Leandro's friends are Dead!!! Talk about your Dead Man's Party!

Meanwhile, back at the hospital, Lisa is having a few friends from Hell over herself, unfortunately, they are all up inside her head, but not to worry, they've called a priest, and everything is going to be just peachy keen in no time what all! Sure it is!!

I'd say we've got a little tongue in cheek diabolical humour going on here, or is that called Tootsie Pop in cheek humour?

In a cheap attempt to tempt the priest into giving in to a mental submission hold, the wild and depraved Lisa turns into the seductive and very naked Carmen Silva. Go for it, man!!

No kidding, I used to be able to do this very same maneuver until just a few years ago! Not a position you normally see in movies like this! Lord knows the Devil would have something to do with it!

So, that's it for this installment of Mario Bava's version of "Father Knows Best!"

INVISIBLE GHOST / Astor Pictures - 1941

Hello again everbloody, and welcome to Mittwoch Oldie Moldie B+W Spook Theater! Starting this Friday, we're rearranging our schedule a bit, so, I, Tabonga, will post on Wednesday and Friday, then he, Eegah!!, now has Saturday and Monday!..

This week we gots another feature starring Dungeon best pal, Bela Lugosi! Check out the misspelling of Polly Ann Young's name on that classic Mexican lobby poster.

Astor Pictures also distributed FOUR SIDED TRIANGLE, ROBOT MONSTER, CAT-WOMEN OF THE MOON, SHE DEMONS, GIANT FROM THE UNKNOWN, MISSILE TO THE MOON, FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER, THE BLOODY BROOD and PEEPING TOM!.. Some good shit there!

What an awesome title card!! The cartoonish music is all redone stock compositions from their vast library of sounds, so we can move along...

Lil' Dungeon pet Rufus the Gnat just finish his banana smoothie and say he all ready to push that big red 'GO' button and start today's Eariffic Earclip rolling up the hill! Okay, he push it, here's!.. INVISIBLE GHOST!

Bela opines about his dead beautiful wife to Evans the Butler.

This SUC-KER! gets mixed up with his girlfriend's maid, and now she's trying to blackmail him!

For no reason ever explained, Bela's 'dead' wife comes around at times and gives him the evil eye...

...And, commands him to do things!

Actually, bad things! Like, smothering the maid with his jacket!

Of course, frisky train driver is blamed and gets thrown in prison!.. Dames!

Bela gets the vibe again.

Guess it's time for another surprise attack on some unsuspecting victim!

The very best part of this flick is that Evans the Butler, played by Clarence Muse, is the most intelligent person in the house, and doesn't speak in the stereotypical way as others did. Now, that's damn refreshing!

She's baaack!..

Im beginning to understand!.. I'm dead!!

Everbloody gets to see for theirself that Bela's not entirely in control of his own actions.

Great Caesar's Ghost!!