Well, it's a hot time, Summer Friday night, and 38 years from last Wednesday, and to celebrate we have one of the best worst movies I've ever seen, but a Helluva lot of fun to break down,
"Memorial Valley Massacre"!!! The music was composed by Jed Feuer in one of his rare outings!
The great thing about movies like this, is that you don't have to spend a lot of time justifying it's existence, it is what it is, and that ain't much, so take it for what it's worth and don't expect a lot, drink a couple of extra margaritas, and have yourself a good time without having to have to think a whole lot!! How bout we all get it from Netflix on the same night, and celebrate 'Give Your Brain A Break' night!!
It's the big Memorial Day weekend and all the happy campers are going to the new campground that just opened up!
But it seems they got a big hitch in their didgywidget and a lot of the stuff isn't ready, like the restrooms!! Veteran actor still working today, John Kerry plays George Webster, the ranger in denial!
So the owner of the project, Cameron Mitchell, who I dare to say has been in as many slasher and horror films as anybody, and the 'big' name in this film, throws a shit fit in a small role as Allen Sangster!!
But the real problem that nobody knows about, is that this guy, John Caso, in his solo acting venture, and who looks and acts like a cross between Ben Stiller and Ted Nugent, with a vicious streak to challenge Jason or Jack The Ripper also lives in this valley, is severely socially dysfunctional, and doesn't like space invaders!!
It all starts off innocently enough with a couple of snakes!!
Even the party ready bikers sense something ain't right, but it's okay because they got free product placement Tecate!!
Then after a couple of people get killed, it starts to rain on the party for real!!
Most of the campers go out on a search party, and this big dummy finds a skull in a cave with a bunch of other stuff belonging to the killer, and decides to keep it because he thinks it's cool!! I forgot what his number ended up to be!!
Another big name in the small role of General Mintz was William Smith! Linda Honeyman played his wife, and you gotta love it, Pepper Mintz!!
Pepper says, "Do you smell gas?" So much for The General and Pepper saving the day!! So, who's the hero of this movie gonna be??
The biker chicks are terribly distraught, but still have a good grip on their beer even though like 9 people have got killed in the last day or two!
Despite all the death and dismemberment, this gal still decides to walk into the woods alone in the dark! How sympathetic can one person be when that kind of idiocy prevails??
There must have been
too much free beer on the set, they couldn't even get "Tecate" spelled right in the credits! That couldn't have gone over real well!!
Welcome back to the new deal kids!!! SÜPERMENLER is one very strange movie, & it's up to you to figure it out, because I'm sure as Hell not going to try and explain it!! I will tell you one thing, there's three Super Men, and one other thing is that without a doubt, whatever you do, and I'm warning you out front, whatever you do, DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS THEME SONG MORE THAN ONCE, or you will go absolutely insane, and might become a cereal killer, wolfing down big handfuls of Cheerios with nothing to wash them down with except your own rancid slobber! It's like some kind of voodoo, and I'll tell you that I personally woke up in the middle of the night in a cheap hotel in Istanbul, in a cold sweat stinking of tequila and gin, and what is the only thing on my mind? This song!! For the weaker of you, don't even listen to it, period, and please do not play it for anyone without warning, that just wouldn't be fair or nice!!! There are no credits for the musicians!!
This is how a Super Man flies!! Half-gainer with a full twist!!
"Los Tres Supermanes Contra El Padrino" is a Spanish movie made in Turkey in 1979, is it really supposed to make sense???
