PREHISTORIC WOMEN - Raoul Kraushaar - "Savage! Primitive! Deadly!" (1950)

Any time they have ever used the word 'prehistoric' in a film title, you can pretty much count on it being a piece of crap! 'Prehistoric' is a fancy theatrical name for 'loser!' Like, what are we going to do this time?? Oh, I know, something prehistoric!!! But, for some reason these types of films usually turn out to be a yawn fest for the viewer! This 1950 title "Prehistoric Women" is definitely no exception, because this is really a 'Bad' movie, but we'll give them a break, after all, it is 1950 and that really was a Great title card!!! The best parts would have been the dance numbers, but the copy we have has almost zero contrast during any 'night' scene, and is there is virtually almost nothing there you can see but a few shadows!!

So, this film is titled "Prehistoric Women" but it's really about these guys, I mean, check them out, this is what they do all day, lounge around while the women fight over them!!

Mara Lynn as Arva, the usurper decides to give Engor some chow, and boy, does that piss off Tigri, who was portrayed by the 34-24-35 Laurette Luez!!

Allan Nixon as Engor, the object of their affection, watches on from his prime box seat!! Allan would go on to be in box office smash, "Mesa Of Lost Women" as Dr. Tucker!!

The other girls and 'the wise one' cheer them on!!

Later, a giant shadow passes over and Tigri looks up in fear!!

Wow!! As it turns out, the 'Scourge of the Skies," Korax the Dragon with the massive wingspan, is what appears to be a pelican in one scene and a mad duck in another attack, and even the music of genius Raoul Kraushaar can't save Tigri, Engor, Lotee, Eras, Arva, Nika, Tulee, Ruig, Adh, Kama and Tana from the extinction they so rightfully deserve!! Way to go "Alliance!"

FIEND WITHOUT A FACE / MGM - 1958 / Music by Buxton Orr

Well, we're finally getting around to this great classic of classics! Cinematographer turned director Arthur Crabtree directed this film and another Dungeon fave, HORRORS OF THE BLACK MUSEUM!

Our friend Buxton Orr didn't do that much, but, check out this nice lineup of movies he supplied the music for: THE HAUNTED STRANGLER, CORRIDORS OF BLOOD, FIRST MAN INTO SPACE, DR. BLOOD'S COFFIN and THE SNAKE WOMAN! Not bad! So, here's FIEND WITHOUT A FACE!

SOUNDCLIP NOT AVAILABLE

Look at the cool high-tech crap they had in 1958!! There's an atomic radar screen there (Cheney would be jealous!) and the power station supplying all the juice!

But, locals are starting to die whenever they run the machine, so, the American military is being blamed, naturally. They're in Canada. The doc explains to the brass that given there are puncture wounds in the back of the neck where the brain and spinal cord were sucked out, he thinks it is some kind of "mental vampire!"

Kim Parker has no idea that Marshall Thompson has let himself in as she bolts out of the bathroom after her shower! That image was used in the poster!! Anyway, Marshall doesn't seem to mind!

The invisible thing is super creepy as it slithers across a rug, and, if you survive an attack, is it really worth it?!!

They finally narrow the perpetrator of the terror down to Kim's boss, the weird old Prof. Walgate, who's been experimenting with brain waves and who's also been stealing atomic power for the station!

The damn things become visible, so, Marshall and Kim get to watch as three of the monsters attack the professor after he escapes from the house!

Marshall hoofs it to power station while the rest of the gang have to try and defend themselves against the fiends. The real hero is Constable Gibbons, look at him peel off those hellish demons!! The middle shot shows one as it leaps onto Kim!

Marshall finally blows up the power station, and, well... It gets pretty disgusting!

THE MONSTER OF PIEDRAS BLANCAS - "Fred & Lucy" (1959)

"The Monster Of Piedras Blancas" is one of them 'love it or hate it' flicks!!! It's just a little boring, but has an interesting cast of characters, and a cool original looking monster that was created by the guy who also produced the film, Jack Kevan!

This film also had Don Sullivan of "Giant Gila Monster" and "Teenage Zombies" fame as "The Boy" Fred!!

And, this movie was also lucky enough to have the ever so charming Jeanne Carmen as "The Girl" Lucy!! Jeanne was also in the cult flick "The Devil's Hand" and the 1957 JD classic "Untamed Youth!" The voluptuous Arkansas native left home at the age of 13 and went to New York and became a dancer off-Broadway. In the 50's she ended up in Las Vegas and developed quite the talent on the golf course as a barefoot hustler and a trick-shot expert, before she came to Hollywood, and the story goes on and on! She just passed away less than a year ago!!! What a gal!!!

If you've ever been to the sleepy central coast of California, you'll notice without a doubt, this film was shot mostly in Cayucos, Calif, just a couple of miles up the beach from Morro Bay!!! I'm not really sure why more movies have not been made in this beautiful area!!

Jack Kevan was also responsible for the creation or co-creation of some of the coolest monsters of all time, like "The Creature Walks Among Us", "The Mole People", "Monster On The Campus", and the Mutant from "This Island Earth!" Nice credits!!! Jeanne looks pretty impressed!!!!

Speaking of credits, just in case you were wondering, there are no musical credits for this film, probably all stock!!!

EEGAH!!! - Arch Hall - "Valerie" (1962)

Not something weird, freaky, new or special for you on this final amazing "All Saint's Night 2008" but instead we're going to dig into the roots of what we're doing here!!!
This is the last piece of music I have for you from "Eegah!" and I was saving it for a special night, so here ya'll go!! It ain't even worth arguing about, cause without a doubt, it's the best Pop song of all time, written and performed by the genius Arch Hall, from the film only second to "Citizen Kane" and "Gone With The Wind" in most intelligent thinker's books, my freakin' namesake, "EEGAH!!!"

This simply amazing song is titled "Valerie" and it goes something like this:

"If I had, a thousand paintings, in a marble, gallery,
Every, single picture, would be of Valerie,"

Okay, now, get ready for the really good stuff!!!

"Vitamins are good they say, and so's a calorie,
But I'd feel like a tiger on one kiss from Valerie,"

Yes, Arch really did rhyme Valerie and calorie!!!! Isn't that the best ever!??? C'mon!!!!

"I couldn't stand tomorrow, and they can have today,
If some one took my Valerie a half a mile away!"

"If I had, a billion dollars, and a banker's, salary,
I'd spend it, all on flowers, to give to, Valerie!!!"

Oh, baby!!!!! And what's even better than those background singers singing "Salary"?? There's nobody named "Valerie" in the movie!!!! This song comes complete with Ooobie-Doo Ooh-oohs and whistling from soma-place you're not opt to venture to on purpose! Sing it Arch!!!

As I have been told numerous times in the past, "Eegah!!!" cleans up pretty damn good!!!

So now it's time to track down that ghoul you love, write him or her a song rhyming his or her name to the most absurd things in the world and you're 'Good Golly Miss Molly' guaranteed to be together a real gone time! Peace and Aarrrgghhhh!!!!!

Forrest J. Ackerman was the man who inspired us to love and write about Monster Movies, and it was the Reverend Tom Frost who inspired us to do this blog, so on this hallowed 2008 night of all nights, lift those glasses high to them and all the other greats we've toasted and roasted here!! Thanx!!!

THE DOUBLE GARDEN aka THE REVENGE OF DR. X / Toei Studios Japan - 1970 / Music by ?

Tabonga finish off Halloween month by coloring outside of lines little bit!! Here is pretty obscure flick from Toei Studio Japan 1970. What is awesome is story by Eddie Wood, Jr.!! And, US version use credits for Eddie Romero's MAD DOCTOR OF BLOOD ISLAND!.. Kwazy!

Who know who do music?! Not Tabonga, but Tabonga tell you this stuff is cool, man!! PLANT MAN MUZIK!

Science dude James Craig flipping out so he take vacation to Japan.

He start working on project though, he want mutate plants! He hire topless gurlz diving down and get special plant on ocean bottom for him make experiment! Gurlz do great job for about 5 minutes!!!

So, he hang in there and make plant man mutant dude! Too cool, have Venus Fly-Trap hand!!

But, damn thing get loose and kill worthless village person. Well, everbloody go nuts and try find it, and burn with torches! That Tabonga worst nightmare, hot torches!!

James decide he have to go find monster, he use goat lure to find because thing hungry, then he kill creation! You look James' hand and see he turn into monster too!

He hear something and turn around to find hungry plant dude. Now what?!

Remember, Eddie writing story so not have to really make sense! Anyway, monster push James off cliff. Find this flick and check it out, no kidding!

Tabonga give top rating!!

GONKS GO BEAT - "Earth Or Planet Gonk" (1965)

The Boss said no more funny stuff, so let's get right down to wrapping up these seasonal festivities with some serious action from the film nobody wants you to know about, "Gonks Go Beat!" It's time for the final showdown, "Earth Or Planet Gonk," and there's still time for you to make a final decision!! It's all up to you now!!! There's nothing else we can do for you!!!

It's "Earth Or Planet Gonk!!!" Earth or Planet Gonk???