13 MYSTERIES - "Something Ain't Right In North Cactus City" (2017)

 

This week's Saturday Night Special is an independent film made in 2017 titled "13 Mysteries."

 

"13 Mysteries" was written and directed by Julia Noel, and the Executive Producer was Edward Parker Bolman, who has been leaving a lot of informative and interesting comments here lately.

 

 

"13 Mysteries" is a lengthy film running a full hour and forty-six minutes, and there is no way I could try and explain it to you in this format. For that matter, I might not even be able to explain it in person over a bottle of wine, so first off I'll just tell you that one of the stars is a telephone!

The phone is in various locations and is plugged into the ground!

Not quite sure what the make and model of this phone are, but I like the modern design!

 

There's even a phone worshiping cult that lives in a remote cave in Hollywood.

 The mysteries unfold, one by one.

 Edward Parker Bolman is our hero Milton 'The Investigator' Firebrace! While out wandering around in the middle of nowhere, he comes across a phone, and then it starts ringing.

 A voice on other end of the line speaks the olde language, and Milton doesn't understand a word, so he decides it's time to move on the the next mystery.

 

For security reasons, large portions of this story have been redacted!
 

So rather than me trying to explain this film, let me tell you about just some of the people involved in this project!

Percival Baird is the flamboyant Mayor of North Cactus City and is played by a gentleman named Buzzsaw!

Dr. Broccoli is played by Teddy (Necromancy) Quinn. Teddy is also a musician and has a recording studio out in the desert!

 

The talented Maritza (Night Of The Zomghouls) Brikisak is a character named Elemental.

 

Comix artiste Carrie McNinch has the role of Number One.

Steve Moramarco is Mayoral candidate Phillip Daird. Steve was the Associate Producer for the film "Tenacious D In The Pick Of Destiny." 

 

Another very interesting participant in this project was Janet Housden, the former drummer for the 70's & 80's punk band Red Kross. Janet has the role of Hypatia Spitzenberg, one of the residents of North Cactus City.

 

There's not enough room here to name the whole cast, and I apologize if I identified anybody incorrectly. The great thing is that you can make your own evaluation and consideration for what's going on here for nothing, by going HERE, where "13 Mysteries" streams for free!

 

"13 Mysteries" is set in an alternate 1970's, and here's a picture of me in 1970, just in case that explains anything, if not then just beam me back up!

 This is some pretty serious jive, and Milton 'The Investigator' Firebrace just might have gotten in over his head a bit!

It's beautiful how an overexposed black and white picture is still so readily identifiable as a Bougainvillea!

STRANGE REPORT - Episode 01 - "Report 5055 - CULT - Murder Shrieks Out" (1969)

This week's Saturday Night Special is a strange one! 

Once again, Thanx to Lord Litter in Berlin for pointing this one out to me!

"Strange Report" was a 1960's British TV show about a criminologist named Adam Strange that was on for one season of sixteen episodes from 1969 to 1970!

The first episode was titled "Report 5055 - CULT - Murder Shrieks Out" and involves a brotherly but murderous cult called The Cypress Fund that gets donations of goods from all over the world, but are siphoning off a large portion of it for their own nefarious and greedy means!

The star of the show is Anthony (A Study In Terror) Quayle as Adam Strange!

Born in Lithuania, Kaz (Humanoids From The Deep) Garas is Adam Strange's assistant Hamlyn Gynt. I'm not sure who has got the stranger name, the actor or the character!

Anneke (Dr Who, The Avengers) Wills is the lovely Evelyn McClean, a talented artist who lives next door to Adam Strange!

Look to the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, no, it's a helicopter flying into the Cypress Fund's compound with their beloved leader on board!

The leader of The Cypress Fund is Ray (The Avengers) McAnally as Lars.

Flying in with Lars are the musical spirit of the organization, the demure Pamela (Necromancy) Franklin as Maggie, and Christopher (What's Up Superdoc?) Mitchell as guitar player and singer Jay Brand.

You've just really got to hear this pure pop pablum if nothing else.......

.....And you can doing that by watching about the first 2 1/2 minutes of this video where they perform a song that must be called something like, "A World Of Love!"
Or you can watch the whole show if you want!

There's one big problem with this world of love though.........

................Somebody has rewired Jay's guitar, and he gets electrocuted right on the spot!

Strange and Maggie have got some history together, so he volunteers to help her find out what happened to Jay Brand.

Evelyn shows that she has some real style!

Strange and Gynt are on the case!

Evelyn spends the night with Maggie to make her feel more safe and comfortable, and Maggie shares some pictures like this one of her and Jay Brand in happier times!

They also look through a scrapbook of Maggie's photographs that will later help Strange figure it all out!

This is the swingin' sixties flat that Maggie lives in!

Actually, the whole show is eye candy like this cool record player!

Strange seeks help from the big boys!

How's that for bigger than life?

He has a few trials, but eventually Adam Strange will get it all figured out.

Personally, I'm hoping I can find some time to watch the other fifteen episodes now!

THE WITCHING - Karger/Walsh - "Necromancy" (1972)

Tonight's hard to find feature is brought to you courtesy of The Trash Palace! This later B.I.G. production was originally released as "Necromancy" in 1972. It was beefed up with some added footage, and re-released in 1983 as "The Witching!"

Don't be taken in by that innocent cuddly teddy bear mug, that thing is evil! The Suspiriaish sounds of "Necromancy" were composed by Fred Karger who worked as composer or in the music department of some amazing musical flicks like "Don't Knock The Twist," Hootenanny Hoot," Elvis's "Kissin' Cousins," and "Harum Scarum," Herman's Hermits' "Hold On," "Hot Rods To Hell," "Riot On Sunset Strip," Roy Orbison's "The Fastest Guitar Alive," "Angel, Angel, Down We Go" and more! For the 1983 remake, some of the music was souped up by cartoon king Robert (My Little Pony 'n Friends, Transformers, Muppet Babies) Walsh!

The diminutive Pamela Franklin is Lori Brandon. She just had a mysterious miscarriage, and is not having a good time, nor will she ever for the rest of the movie!

It's time for a change, a time to get out of town, and start a new life, except the first thing that happens is during a disagreement with her husband, he starts driving too fast on the curvy mountain road, and causes these innocent people to crash and burn!

Somehow Lori is able to get down to the burning car, and retrieves a funny looking doll, that for some strange reason has fingernail clippings in it's pocket! Lori's loving dickhead of a husband Frank is played by Michael (Twin Peaks, Slap Shot) Ontkean!

Do these look like people you can trust?? I didn't think so! In fact, Lori's not going to meet one person she can trust, including her husband! Anybody who even leans toward trying to help her ends up dead!

At only five foot tall, Pamela was cute as a bug! Her first role was at 11 as Flora in "The Innocents." She met her husband Harvey Jason who she is still married to, on the set of "Necromancy." He had the role of the creepy Doctor Jay! He must have put some kind of spell on her!

"The Witching" was a different kind of Bert I. Gordon film, no big monsters, but you can't get much bigger than Orson Welles in stature and girth!! Just like "The Amazing Colossal Man," Orson Welles was bigger than reality!

If you don't do what Orson wants, and he just might eat you too!!

Supposedly Frank Brandon got a job as a toymaker in this little guarded town of Lillith, but in reality, he is in cahoots with Orson Welles as the mysterious Mr. Cato, to lure Lori into a Necromancy switch to bring Cato's long dead son back to life! Everything tastes bitter for a reason!!

Lori becomes very suspicious of her new friends and surroundings, and is ready to leave at any given time, but her husband keeps on coming up with excuses to stay for a few more days! Needless to say, Lori's predetermined fate is already in the cards!

This is not your average small town get-together and potluck, and nothing seems to be very sacred except how weird it all is!

Lori asks "Did you see a little boy?" and gets an answer somewhat akin to "No, what little boy? I don't see anything!!" Necro Nancy, she's so fancy, "with her children, they'll go far, she buys them toys to keep in practice, waiting on the war!" - Arthur Lee

Pam does get naked in this movie, but this is sexy enough for me!

It doesn't look good for our heroine!

Dreams, Devils, and The Damned, Lori never stood a chance! One of the many names they tried to market "Necromancy" as, was, get this, "Rosemary's Disciples!"

As the Necromancy is almost completed, Cato's son starts returning to human form!

In the days of Olde, Necromancy was considered to be one of the seven forbidden arts. The other six included Geomancy, Scapulimancy, Aeromancy, Pyromancy, Hydromancy, and Chiromancy or as it is better known, Palmistry!