WHAT’S GOOD FOR THE GOOSE (1969) – Well, is it?

 

Greg Goodsell here -- what we have in the Dungeon tonight is a vintage British sex farce that seems a tad too naughty for these here parts.  WHAT'S GOOD FOR THE GOOSE also went under the title GIRL TROUBLE in the States or NORMAN - GIR DEN GAS in foreign territories!

Yes, our man Norman Wisdom plays banker Timothy Bartlett ruled by his humdrum, workaday routine. For a British sex quickie, however, WHAT’S GOOD FOR THE GOOSE has quite a pedigree! It’s produced by horror film producer extraordinaire Tony Tenser, released by his Tigon Studios. Tenser had a hand in such classics as WITCHFINDER GENERAL (1968) and BLOOD ON SATAN’S CLAW (1971)! Director Menachem Golan would later join forces with his cousin Yorum Globus to forge the incredible bomb factory known as Cannon Pictures in the 1970s! He died on August 8 at the ripe old age of 85 this very year! But we’re getting ahead of ourselves -
 

 To borrow a phrase from an old Kinks ditty, “What are we living for? Two-roomed apartment on the second floor.” Norman’s three adorable kids ignore and don’t appreciate all of his hard work -- can you feel a mid-life crisis coming on?

Sent to a conference by his ailing boss at the coastal town of Southport, trouble comes quickly! These two British lolly birds are about to get our friend Norman into all kinds of trouble! LET THE CARTOON BEGIN!

Adjusting their sunglasses, Nikki (Sally Geeson) and Meg (Sarah Atkinson) size our Norman up as a repressed old prude! That’s about to change in a very big way –

Yup, a little bit of leg will get any girl far in this world. Norman here feigns disapproval –

Geeson, the lovely brunette in this shot is the younger sister of distinguished British actress Judy Geeson of HORROR PLANET/INSEMINOID (1980) infamy! She would only appear in a few more pictures until she chucked acting all together in 1972 to pursue a teaching career!

The girls ply their wares and let slip that they will be partying in town that weekend. You can see the bug slip into Norman’s ear at this point!

There’s a lot more from where that came from?

Out and about to pick up a pack of fags -- that’s CIGARETTES, for you yanks, Norman stumbles into a -- literally -- underground nightclub called the Screaming Apple!

As you can see, poor Norman is a real fish out of water in this kooky comedy as he takes to a psychedelic hippie joint in black bowtie and tuxedo!

As plainly evident, there are a lot of British hippies who were having FUN FUN FUN in this nightspot where patrons can swing on inner tubes! Looks unsafe …

The enthusiastic British hipsters welcome Norman with open arms, because -- HE HAS MONEY! YAY!

Here is why this film is remembered, if at all -- it features the noted and celebrated psychedelic and blues rock group the Pretty Things! The Things contribute four songs to this film’s soundtrack. As you can see, these Things aren’t particularly “pretty” -- but neither is rock and roll!

What is good for the goose REALLY is good for the gander, as this male waiter, in the manner of other swingin’ female birds of the time, goes “topless. “

Why, even a member of the house band also goes the Tarzan route!

And here’s our fave “it” girl again, trying to convince Norman to stop being such an old fuddy-duddy!

Bedding down with his lovely for a night of extramarital sex, a lock of her hair strategically placed foresees the macho street clone look that would become popular in the following decade!

Norman afterwards embraces the youth counter-culture. A bit of booze and some Carnaby Street clothes make the man!

Yours truly is ashamed to say that he, at one point, wore vests like that -- as late as 1976!

Feeling remorseful, Norman drags his wife (Sally Bazely) to Southport for some hippie clothes and free-wheeling fun, but as she slathers on some cold cream, our hero realizes -- you can’t go home again! Is what’s good for the goose REALLY good for the gander? You’ll have to see the movie to find out! This is Greg Goodsell – over and out!

INSEMINOID / Jupiter Film Productions - 1981

It's Alien Valentine Friday with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. We gots a $2,000,000 ALIEN inspired production from Britain that ended up getting on my bad side and just seemed like a lame attempt at horror to me. The story's about a crew of interplanetary archaeologists who are threatened when an alien creature impregnates a female member, causing her to turn homicidal. Alternate title is HORROR PLANET.

Eegah!! sent over a soundclip of the synthetic theme from this flick for our earjoyment, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button there by the alien inseminator, NOW, Rufus The Gnat! Here's a taste of... INSEMINOID!

Like in ALIEN, this comatose dude finds something strange in a cave and gets attacked by an unknown creature.

Here's an interesting shot, the director's trying to get an ALIEN feel with a 50 cent prop!

Judy Geeson, playing Sandy, gets nude for this scene where a big alien bug inseminates her using it's clear tubular penile device... Gross!!

Sandy is pregnant by the big brute and isn't happy consuming just pickles and ice cream!

After killing off half the crew, Sandy gives birth to two ugly little bugs!.. Gross!!

The rest of the crew members lock Sandy out of the living quarters, so, she starts using explosives to get to them!

This guy finally strangles Sandy a goodern, putting an end to her deadly rampage!

But, now the babies are finishing off whoever's left of the remaining crew.

An emergency message is received by these space cowboys, the last survivor tells them about the urgent situation there, so, they head to the planet to help out.

Everyone's dead by the time they get there and they grab a few souvenirs to take back with them! This shot reminds me of GHOULIES.

DOOMWATCH - John Scott - "Island Of The Ghouls" (1972)

It's called "DOOMWATCH" and with an uplifting title like that, what are you going to expect out of the UK in 1972! If it's doom and gloom you want, you got it here! Great title card!!

It's not like the people in charge didn't also cause the problem, No, nothing like that! "Doomwatch" addresses the problem, and it's not exactly a barrel of laffs, in fact, it's just no fun at all, dismal, and horribly depressing!

A remote island can create an isolated environment that is not subject to normal rules or society! Therein lies the problem!!

Swiss Toggenburg goats are simply the best! They produce a lot more milk, and have more personality than Nubians! A good milker will give you around three gallons a day, and their personalities will rival that of the best dog you ever had! High quality fresh goat milk tastes like melted Häagen-Dazs ice cream if it's handled properly, it's that sweet! I honestly believe that goats are the most maligned and misunderstood domestic animals on the planet! They do have horns, and the males do smell like the Devil in season, but it's almost kriminal how all the other myths about them have been exaggerated for decades!

This island has a very distinctive problem, and there ain't nothing funny or tropical about it!

Although he wasn't in many horror films, Ian Bannen, here as Dr. Del Shaw, was also in another film we'll be doing soon, "From Beyond The Grave." Dr. Shaw has been sent to the island, because all the reports say something strange is going on there!

The nearest thing to a female romantic interest is played by Judy Geeson as the seasonal teacher Victoria Brown! Judy was Pamela Dare in "To Sir With Love," Mary Gloucester in "Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush," and Jacki in "Goodbye Gemini." This is as close as Del and Victoria are going to get to a roll in the hay!!

The square shooter who has now lost his aim is George Sanders in the role of the "The Admiral!" He should have been a Rear Admiral, because he's a pretty big ass!!

The island people are being poisoned by chemicals and leaking radioactive material dumped off their coastline, but they attribute their mutating society to inbreeding, so they are very wary of any outside intervention, so it's that old basic premise, they're damned if they do, and damned if they don't!!

Public relations, lies and deceit, there ain't nothing like it!

Not only is the local population becoming horribly disfigured, they are also very standoffish, and have a penchant towards violence!

"Doomwatch" was based on a UK TV show that ran for three seasons from 1970 to 1972, and starred John Paul as Dr. Spencer Quist, and Simon Oates as Dr. John Ridge. "Doomwatch" the TV series's first episode was called "The Plastic Eaters" and the last show, entitled "Sex and Violence," explored 'Moral Pollution' and was never aired! Neither Ian Bannen or Judy Geeson were ever on the TV show!

In the meantime, the locals keep dropping like flies!

NO!! Everything's NOT all right!!

The serious music for "Doomwatch" was composed by the brilliant John Scott. We've written about Mr. Scott before if you feel like searching. He was the composer of the music in such films as "The Million Eyes of Sumuru," "Berserk," "Trog," and "Hexen Geschändet Und Zu Tode Gequält," or a literal translation of "Disgraced Witches And Tortured To Death!" As far as we know, the amazing John Scott is still going strong today!

There are some frights and scares, but mostly "Doomwatch" is a film about confusion and misunderstanding!

"Doomwatch" was directed by Peter "Taste The Blood Of Dracula" Sasdy, written by Clive "The Crezz" Exton, and the outstanding makeup was by Tom "The Shining" Smith!

"Doomwatch" would be a great film to watch on any cold and rainy Sunday morning with some Mimosas, some shots of Cabrito, some barbecued Portabellos, and somebody you really dislike, like your cousin or any politician, and can be found on Netflix!