FUNERAL HOME / Canadian Film Development Corporation - 1980

Tabonga here... Tonite's feature is about a girl who arrives at her grandmother's house to help her turn it into a bed-and-breakfast inn, the place actually used to be a funeral home. After they open the inn though, guests begin disappearing or turning up dead! Original title is CRIES IN THE NIGHT, and, sounds like a typical stale old tale from the eighties...

The music is by Jerry Fielding, and, Jerry had a very decent career with composing credits for films like FOR THOSE WHO THINK YOUNG, MCHALE'S NAVY, THE WILD BUNCH, SUPPOSE THEY HAD A WAR AND NOBODY CAME?, STRAW DOGS, CHATO'S LAND, THE MECHANIC, DEMON SEED and THE BAD NEWS BEARS. He also worked on these TV shows... THE LIFE OF RILEY, THE BETTY HUTTON SHOW, TELL IT TO GROUCHO, THE RIFLEMAN, THE FARMER'S DAUGHTER, HOGAN'S HEROES, STAR TREK, MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE, MANNIX, THE BRIAN KEITH SHOW, POLICE WOMAN, KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER and THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN!

Letz bring in our littlest Dungeon helper and button pusher, Rufus The Gnat! Rufus is here to start our show, so, push the big red 'GO' button there next to the magazine rack, now, Rufus! Here's our Eariffic Soundclip for... FUNERAL HOME!

Heather comes to help her grandma set up a bed-and-breakfast in her old, ex-funeral home...

Barry Morse gets 3rd billing as Mr. Davis, big time fisherman. Just check out this partial list of his work on TV... HAUNTED STUDIO, SUSPENSE, THE UNFORSEEN, 'WAY OUT, TWILIGHT ZONE, THE ALFRED HITCHCOCK HOUR, THE OUTER LIMITS, THE INVADERS, THE STARLOST, JOURNEY THROUGH THE BLACK SUN, ALIEN ATTACK, SPACE: 1999, DESTINATION MOONBASE-ALPHA, THE MARTIAN CHRONICLES, SEEING THINGS, THE RAY BRADBURY THEATER, DRACULA: THE SERIES, TEKWAR and SPACE ISLAND ONE!

Of course, there's a creepy mentally challenged grounds keeper, which always make me think of SCREAMING SKULL.

Girls finishing a canoe, people jumping from strange looking cliffs in unison, welcome to Ontario, Canada!

And, when's not a good time for teasing the hired help?!

There's a stench of mystery in the air!.. Other stuff, too.

Mr. Davis lets Maude, Heather's grandma, know that he suspects her of the recent disappearances of some of the inn's tourists, and, well, you can see what happens when he goes out fishing that night!

Ooo-la-la!

While this girl is diving, she discovers one of the missing tourists!

And, it's one Hell of a spectacle when they retrieve her and the car from the water...

Brainiac is there so that the viewer keeps thinking that he could be involved.

But, before long, he's out of the running as a suspect!

Yep, it's the grandma, old Maude Chalmers!!

Heather finally gets to meet her dead cousin, Phil!

Put this in because it looks like my kitty, Boo, like if you tried to mess with her.

Please come with me, you crazy old lady, you!

TOWER OF LONDON - Frank Skinner - "A God Unto Himself" (1939)

You've had over 60 years to see "Tower Of London!" The movie was made in 1939, and is just as classic as "Frankenstein" or "Dracula!" Why this film is not shown in classrooms across the globe is anybody's guess, because in a sane world, it would be mandatory, but we don't live in a sane world, now do we?

A time when forward was actually backward, not so different from today! Watch this movie and you'll never ever wonder again why the masses hate the rich, the politicians, and the royalty of the world! "Tower Of London" comes right out and says it, they're all a bunch of cutthroat evil bastards of the lowest kind, and yet they wield all the power!

Workhorse composer Frank Skinner has some 266 composing credits, and the vast majority, like this film are uncredited. Frank did get credits on "Hellzapopin'" but on movies like "The Invisible Man Returns," "The Mummy's Hand," and "The Wolf Man," he was sinfully just 'the guy' who provided the music!

Boris Karloff is Mord the executioner and the dude in charge of the torture dungeon! Check out the raven perched on his shoulder!

Mord decides this guy ain't hurting enough, so he adds on another weight! Look how he has different size weights, so he can distribute the discomfort and pain to his liking!

Boris! What a piece of work!

The King is dead! Long live the King! Just a little bit unclear on the whole royalty concept! Miles Manders is King Henry VI.

Leo G. Carroll has the role of Lord Hastings! Leo has a permanent spot in The Dungeon Hall of Fame, not only for his archetypal role in "Tarantula," but also for his masterful TV caricatures in 53 episodes of everybody's favourite ghost show "Topper," and for another 102 episodes of "The Man From U.N.C.L.E." as the man in the know, Alexander Waverly!

One of the first squared circles has an early Gorilla Monsoon doing the blow by blow commentary!

Long before "All The Young Dudes," Ian Hunter has the role of King Edward The IV, and Basil Rathbone is his brother, Richard - the Duke of Gloucester, or as Frank Zappa would say, "The Duke Of Prunes!" It's a dog eat dog world, and the play fighting is fun, but Richard really doesn't like playing second fiddle to his brother, and has some grandiose plans for his family members! Indeed, Richard is a real Dick!

The brothers were so busy playing around that the King is almost late for the execution, that's what kind of a caring person he is! His wife, Barbara O'Neil as Queen Elyzabeth makes an appearance, but doesn't really like these kinds of events, and would much rather be home with her kids!

John Rodion as the about to be executed Lord Devere, and his pal John Sutton as John Wyatt, the Queen's cousin, are added to the basic tale of Shakespeare's "Richard the III" to flesh out the tale a bit! John Sutton was also in two classic Vincent Price films in 1959, "The Bat," and "Return Of The Fly!" John Rodion was only ever in one other film, "The Dawn Patrol," made a year earlier! John Rodion's birth name was actually Basil Rodion Rathbone! That's right, he was Basil Rathbone's son, but raised by his Mother, because they split up when he was two!

Mord and Richard make quite a couple! Richard is a hunchback, and Mord has a clubfoot, but together, they plan to rule the world!

While not exactly a true horror story, "Tower Of London" is pretty creepy, especially this little dollhouse that Richard has of his family. One by one he knocks them all off!

Dungeon Hall of Famer Vincent Price is Richard's younger brother, George, the Duke of Clarence. This was only Vinnie's third appearance on the big screen!

The combination of Boris's chrome dome, and those helmets, makes this scene where they take John Wyatt down, look like it could have come from some Space Ranger serial!

Richard is the master bastard of working both sides, or maybe even three sides at the same time!

These people are unscrupulous and will stoop at nothing to set themselves up, including forced marriages of children and even killing them when they become the next heir to the throne!

This would be a good candidate for one of those 'Come up with a caption for this picture' contests! I don't know why, I just like this shot! Everybody just looks so suspicious!

Richard tells George he can beat him in any kind of contest, so George challenges Richard to the only thing he knows he can win, a drinking contest!

It's a great piece of cinematic history after many rounds of wine, George does beat Richard who is totally passed out, and is just getting the last laugh when.......

......Richard miraculously comes back to life!!

After knocking him out, Richard and Mord stuff George in a vat of wine, and put the lid on it!

Sorry Basil, the secret is out, "Tower Of London" is not history, but it is a great story! I don't even particularily like period pieces, but this is a good one! Last time I checked, it was still available on Netflix!