ZAAT / Barton Films - 1975

Hey, everbloody!.. WHA' ZAAT?!!

"A creature like you've never seen before!" reads the tagline... Well, yeah... We wouldn't want 'unintentionally hilarious goofy monsters' to become a standard! Sure, it looks interesting in the poster art.

Get this!.. Only one person out of the entire cast and crew in this Floridian production ever worked on a movie set ever again!!! Also, looks like this puppy was released 3 years after completion.

The music is credited to Jamie DeFrates and Barry Hodgin, again, the only movie they worked on! The soundclip includes a pretty good hippie tune!

Now, here's little 4-eyed Dungeon hunchback helper, Ralphie The Tarantula, to bring you tonight's Eariffic Earclip, Hit the 'GO' button, Ralphie!!... WHA' ZAAT?!

The flick starts with this depressed scientist in deep thought about his experiments and his devious intentions therein...

Loners have to figure out junk by themselves, you know, like how to change yourself into a fish, etc.

ZAAT goes out to test all his new fishy parts, you know, to see if everything works okay... Check!!

Team INPIT show up in their jumpsuits, ready to solve the weird mystery about some kind of fish monster that everbloody's been talking about up and down the state... At the end of the soundclip, you'll hear the Sheriff put them in their place!

This is Nancy Lien as the camper girl who gets captured by ZAAT to be his mate, then dies during the transformation process. Too bad, she'd a been a good'ern!

Shades of Al Adamson!!

Check it out, he's an artist!!

For the Portrait Gallery!

Damn!!.. Sanna Ringhaver as INPIT Agent Martha Walsh is HOT!!

In this shot, ZAAT looks like a Blood Island monster who's lookin' fer sum trubble!!

He considers breaking up a hippie house party. Later, the Sheriff locks the hippies up in the local jail to keep them safe from the monter!

Far out, man!!

Great still of ZAAT as he turns the dials on his infernal machine while holding a syringe of glowing serum!

Basically, what Heaven on Earth looks like!

Marshall Grauer, desperate for more work as an actor, tries out for The Banana Splits!!

Look, the dude is just freakin' horny, alright?! What do you want from a walking catfish?..

Agent Stevens takes a long nap after tangling with ZAAT!!

Now a fish, Agent Walsh-Zaat retires to the ocean to lay her eggs!

Here's a decent rendition of ZAAT by Dungeon pal Terry Beatty on the cover of Scary Monsters Magazine. Only trouble is, it don't look like him!!

HAUSU - Asei Kobayashi, Micky Yoshino & Godiego - "Nobody Else But Me" (1977)

Okay Kids, this two weeks of comedy is winding down, and it's time to start getting weird, and weird prevails on Wednesday, so here you go! A few months back I said that William Castle's "13 Frightened Girls"was one of the biggest WTF?! movies of all time, and Roy Z. left a comment that said it was a bold statement to make compared to "Hausu," and I have to admit this one time, Mr. Z. just might be right, because "Hausu,"probably IS the biggest WTF?! film of it's time or maybe even any time!!!

First off, it's a comedy, but it ain't all that funny, unless you have a very twisted nerve and think mutilating young scantily clad Japanese schoolgirls and mixing it all in with fairy tale colours, imagery, and pop music is some kind of philosophical Laff Fest! Wack and Whack Whack!!

Kimiko Ikegami as Oshare aka Gorgeous, and/or Angel is seen here with her Father played by Saho Sasazawa who is, in this role, a composer for Movie Music, but in real life, this was his only real acting gig, and he actually made a living by writing the quite successful "Kogarashi Monjirô" or "Withered Tree, The Adventures Of Monjiro!"

Everybody and their mother's brother have tried to describe this "House" of diabolical Hell, personally I'd go with something like Luis Buñuel directing a 70's Japanese horror film with the makers of Peewee's Playhouse designing the sets etc, then let Bava, Franco, and Argento, all do a segment or two, throw it all in the blender with some organic sugar, Habanero peppers, and rice crackers on high for about an hour and a half, and pour it into your eyes and ears, and you just might start to get an inkling of where director Nobuhiko Obayashi's "Hausu" is coming from!

This would be Haruko Wanibuchi as Ryôko Ema, Oshare's Father's girlfriend. As you can tell, everything about her and around her is prefect!! There's only one problem, in Oshare's mind, no one could ever replace her deceased Mother! "Isn't she lovely?"

In a nutshell, or in this case, a nut "House," Oshare and her friends just got out of skool for the summer. Oshare didn't dig that whole scene at her Dad's house, you see, so she and her friends are going to go visit her aunt in the country instead, you know, like rest and relaxation!

What? No Bacon??

Oshare's friends are a novel group, and they all have special attributes and names, kinda like the Fantastic Four or the Goonies! There's Fanta, Kung-Fu, Prof, Sweet, Melody, and Mac! Check out that small homage to horror films sitting in that one seat on this magic bus ride to the country!

Just to mess with your reality, they used painted backgrounds, and then the bus pulls up to another painted background billboard, for the next shot!! It's like a magic trick that you know how it works, but yet, it still tricks you!!

Seems like there's some "Wizard Of Oz" thrown in there too, as the Watermelon Vendor points out the way to the "House!"

At this point in the crazy world of WTF?!, even as an involuntary reaction, you just have to give in, at least I did!!

"Welcome!" Like For Sure! Houston, I think we have a problem!! Among her many acting credits, Yôko Minamida was also one of the many hosts of the extremely popular Japanese TV show, "Music Fair" that was on TV from 1965 to 2007!

Is this not like the most wonderfully beautiful freakin' foto you have ever seen in your life? The music for "Hausu" was composed by Micky Yoshino and Asei Kobayashi, and performed by Micky's band Godiego, supposedly the first rock band to ever perform "Live" in The People's Republic Of China!

I'm already worn out, but the ribald monkeyshine shenanigans of this "House" are just getting started!

One by one, the girls start disappearing, and then you have this hilarious scene where Melody,(She's the musician, get it?)loses the tips of her fingers!!

It has this devestating effect on one of the other girls who has to watch the whole ordeal!

Eriko Tanaka as Melody is then completely devoured by the maniacal piano from Hell, probably stolen from Satan's orchestra!!

The girls try and figure out WTF?! is going on anyway??

The "House" is totally freakin', and I really mean freakin' this time, nuts by now, and absolutely anything can happen!! There are no boundaries, no restrictions, and no rules, free your mind!!

Remember the Umbrellas from "Yôkai Hyaku Monogatari?" Whenever there's trouble, there always seems to be an umbrella handy!

Miki Jinbo as Kung-Fu seemed to have the strongest chance of surviving, but as tough as she is, and she's good, the evilest chandlier manages to trump her hand!!

Heeerree's..... S N O W F L A K E !!!.......Bad Kitty!!!!

It's too much, I tell you, it's too Much!!!!

Oshare comes face to face with her dead Mother! Do you see the uncanny resemblance?

And then Sweetness and Light, Oshare's Dad's Girlfriend, Ryôko finally shows up, and makes her way up to the "House" like a peacock feather blown in on a gentle breeze....

Ryôko and Oshare's Mom have tea and make nice happily forever!! Hey! Was that Snowflake sneaking back into the scene? Bad Kitty! Very Bad Kitty!!