ETOILE - "Ballet" (1989)

 It was"Opera" on Wednesday and to round out my week of classical horror, tonight's Saturday Night Special is "Ballet," so dig out your best duds, have a couple or martinis or break out a good bottle of champagne, and let's get this show rolling!

 The original title was "Etoile" but in the UK and the U.S.A. it was released as "Ballet."

 Whatever you want to call it, this movie might as well be called Jennifer Connelly, because to me, that's what it's really about, and that's just fine with me!

In this film Jennifer is a dancer named Claire Hamilton who has come to Europe to audition for a show!

The auditions are really tough, and when her name gets called, she gets cold feet, and decides to not even show up!

While mulling over the whole situation.....

.......She meets a young man who is in the business of helping his Uncle buy antique clocks cheap, and then resell them to make a buck!

Jennifer was only fifteen when she appeared in Dario Argento's "Phenomena."
She was only sixteen when she appeared with David Bowie in my favourite fantasy film, "Labyrinth," and she was only nineteen when "Etoile" was made!
All that and she still wasn't even old enough to drink a beer yet!

There is a lot of strange energy in the air, and Claire is about to find herself in the middle of it!

The young man that she has met that has taken a fancy to her is Gary McCleery as Jason Forrest! Gary wouldn't act again for twenty-one years!
After this role, I don't blame him!

After getting some weird flowers delivered to her room with a card that says "To Natalie," Claire decides to check out and go back home to New York where it's not so creepy!

But instead of her real name, she signs a ledger as Natalie Horvath. The next thing you know a car is there to take her away........and she goes!

In between time, Jason is trying to figure out just what in the Hell is going on!

He spots Claire, but when he catches up with her, she doesn't know who he is, and she doesn't know who Claire is!

Natalie has taken over full time now!

Natalie and Jason make love, and she's just about to dispose of him when......

Finally, there's a grand performance of "Swan Lake" in a rundown theatre with nobody there, and a full house at the same time!

So just what in the Hell is going on here, because I watched the movie, and I sure don't know.
See, this is the reason I watch cartoons and wrasslin', or something that makes sense!

I guess if you want to call it that, there IS a monster in this movie. It's a gigantic black swan that is pissed off about something, like it's not getting it's cut!

After a battle royale with a gigantic swan, it's pretty easy to identify with Jason's confusion!

Draw the curtain! Show's over kids!

FLASH GORDON / "The Brain Machine" - 1955

Here's a blast from the past, a show (produced in Germany) I watched religiously after we got of first TV in 1953. Only half the episodes survived and the one that I remember the most went into the 'lost' column. Steve Holland later worked as the model for artist James Bama, who used him as the prototype for "Doc Savage" in the cover illustrations for the novels in the '60s.

Someone is sabotaging the methane-to-oxygen converter on Neptune, Flash and Dale Arden go there to help repair the machine. But, this guy appears out of nowhere and threatens them to stop the repairs, or else...

But, Flash sucker punches him and he goes down for the count. The guy stands up and like in a trance, starts talking to someone in his head. He then knocks Flash out and disappears!

Flash notices something on the floor that the invader dropped, it's a whatchamacallit...

Hey, looks like this gizmo has something to do with with the thingie Flash found on the floor!

Now we find out that Zydereen, the Wicked Witch of Neptune, is behind the plan to destroy the methane-to-oxygen machine, in order to enslave the population there. She's angry that her henchman failed in his attempt to destroy the machine. Get this, dude's name is Photon!!

I loved this space ship, it was my favorite. But in our area, they didn't air the shows they were playing in LA, we only had channel 47 out of Fresno and channel 23 in Bakersfield.

On their trip back to Earth, Flash and Dale figure out how the the talisman they found on the floor operates, and can use it to locate the spot on Neptune the signal is emitting from...

To make up for his previous blunders, Photon tells Zydereen that because of their mind bending machine, well, they should conquer the whole universe, not just Neptune!! Yeah right, the universe is something like a trillion trillion light years across. What a joke, but back in the fifties you could get away with shit like that.

Flash and Dale land back on Earth and go to the office of Commander Richards to see how him and Dr. Zarkov are doing with the situation on Neptune. Guess what, both have mysteriously disappeared and so the two head back to Neptune... Check out that guard there on the right!

Richards and Zarkov have both been kidnapped by the Witch using her transporter, she needs to get all the security info out of Richards' brain to make her plan work.

She starts downloading and erasing parts of the good guys' brains...

Check out those eyes of Richards, whack-a-doodle!

Here's a shot of Flash's rocket as him and Dale close in on Neptune.

Using the talisman, they locate the Witch's building and Flash has to knock out a few guards before they get to the brain machine room...

Zydereen uses her electronic wand to freeze Flash in his place...

But Flash's will is stronger than the Witch's wand, he raises his ray gun and shoots Photon, putting the weasel out of commission!

And, Zydereen grabs the controller for the brain machine and disappears into her bunker. Richards and Zarkov have had their brains erased and Flash vows to get his revenge on the Witch and restore his friends minds...

This was actually a two part episode, I'll bet part two is one of those lost episodes! Hey, check in tomorrow when Eegah!! is up to serve us a spicy meatball, here at The Dungeon!!..

OPERA - Dario Argento (1987)

 This week's classical Mercredi feature is another monsterpiece from the Maestro Dario Argento!

"Opera," what a great simplistic one word title!

But this is a Dario Argento film, and in Dario's world, nothing is even remotely close to simplistic!

I'm just gonna come right out and say it, this is not one of my favorites of Argento's films, because many scenes are quite disturbing, and horribly violent, and yet you keep on watching, because Argento's movies can be as hypnotizing as they are repulsive!

I found the star, Cristina Marsillach's performance to be completely stiff, even though she wasn't dead, just as I suspect Argento must have wanted it, or maybe it's just because she's a Libra!

Dungeon fave and Dario Argento's main squeeze, Daria Nicolodi is in there of course!

I'm sure this one shot cost more than one whole movie we made!

Blame it all on the curse of Lady Macbeth!

I really could have got along without about twenty minutes of slicing and slashing!

The music in "Opera" is really interesting, and was not what I expected at all!

It bounces back and forth between real opera and metal madness by Steel Grave and Norden Light!

Some of the music is by Brian and Roger Eno, and......

......Some of it is by Bill Wyman and Terry Taylor!

You can find the soundtrack to "Opera" on vinyl or cd on Discogs for a mere pittance!

It's Argento's eye for shots like this that keep me coming back!

To make sure you can't close your eyes to the horror in front of you!

Steel Grave - "Just Push The Play Buton"

I should have counted how many different types of horror are!

The rest of the soundtrack was created by Maestro Claudio Simonetti!

As a last resort, sometimes shooting motherfuckers is the only option you have!

But when that doesn't work!

Well, here we go again!

Lo and Behold, Look what I just found on YouTube, so if you so desire, you can come to your own conclusions or concussions, however you want to look at it.
 Just don't let your kids watch it!