~ TABONGA! HALLOWEEN HOWLS ~

Today we gots some funny Halloween jokes for you, and, since we might soon become Russians, well, we could use a giant laugh or two, or seven... For your enjoyment!

That's it for today, join us again on Wednesday for more Halloween Countdown pumpkin stuffers, just for you!

TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE - "Halloween Candy" (1985)

 This Saturday Night Special Countdown To Halloween feature is from the TV series "Tales From The Darkside" in 1985.

 "Halloween Candy" is a tale about what can happen to you if you're a grumpy, uptight old shit!

 This sign by the front door gives you a pretty good idea of what kind of person lives in this house!

He should have also added "No Trick or Treaters" to the list!

 Roy (Experiment In Terror) Poole is Mr. Killup and he ain't happy bout nothing! You might as well call him "Mean Mr. Mustard" or Mr. Killjoy! He's not a nice person, and he's known in the neighborhood as a grumpy old fart who never gives out candy at Halloween! His son Michael is trying his best to convince him to be a better person and has brought him some candy to give out to the kiddies this year! Michael is played by Tim (Babylon 5) Choate! Poor Tim died in a motorcycle accident at the age of 49 as he was headed to a rehearsal for "Macbeth" in 2004!

 Michael has to go to work, so he leaves his Dad alone to give out the candy he brought, but Mr. Killup is not having anything to do with it. He hates kids, and he hates Halloween, and nothing is going to change that, so it seems.

  The trick or treaters come one by one, and Mr. Killup is not nice to any of them, so it's no surprise when this rabbit pulls out a can of spray paint, but Mr. Killup stops him before he can do any damage!

 All the kid's costumes are great!

 Mr. Killup is not just mean, he's vile and evil! 

(It's weird how those two words are the same but different!)

 He mixes up a batch of honey, Elmer's glue, and mayonnaise, and dumps it all over the candy before pouring it in this kid's bag! Yecch!

Well, that has gone on long enough!

 The next trick or treater seems a little different, if you know what I mean!

 Mr. Killup is so caught up in his own bullshit that he really doesn't even notice how very strange this kid is!

 Gross stuff starts happening that includes a lot of large cockroaches!

 There's not a lot of funny going on here!

 Even more bugs!!

 Now you've gone and done it Mr. Killup!

 You can run......

 ......But you can't hide!

 Michael comes back the next day only to find the unsightly horror of what used to be his Father!

The big treat is that the trick's on Michael, and he is in big trouble for neglect since it appears to the authorities that his Father has starved to death, and had only been subsiding on Halloween candy!

So, all you tightwads, don't be a Mr. Killup this year or the same thing just might happen to you!

THE THREE STOOGES In "Fright Night" - 1947

Here's another Halloween Countdown Treat for us... Yes, Fright Night sounds like a spooky title, but, it's actually a take off on Fight Night! Thing is, we, here at The Dungeon, would be remiss if we didn't include the Stooges in our Halloween Countdown mix. This time, Shemp joins the team for a wild and woolly adventure into frightsville...

The Stooges have their own gym where they're training Chopper Kane for a heavyweight bout with 'Gorilla' Watson. Chopper wants to go a few rounds but there's no sparring partner for him to beat on.

So, Shemp gets to fill in. First off, Shemp can't even enter the ring without getting tangled up in the ropes. Then. of course, Larry isn't paying attention and ties his hand and glove to the top rope. Talk about rope a dope!

Shemp is beaten from pillar to post before he ends up head first in a bucket of water.

Some tough guys drop in to informs the boys that their boss wants Chopper to throw the fight... Moe asks why, and Moose says, because Big Mike said so!!

The boys try and get Chopper to over eat and get out of shape for the fight. In the meantime, Chopper has fallen for Kitty and she tells him he needs to get in shape for the fight instead of eating all the time! This makes the boys a little nervous.

Just before the fight, Chopper shows up and tells the Stooges that Kitty dropped him for 'Gorilla' Watson and that he is going to destroy him in the ring! Chopper is animated and accidentally knocks Shemp's cream puff into his face before he enters the arena door.

Moe gets angry with Shemp because he's concerned about his creme puff when they're about to be rubbed out by Big Mike's gang! Moe takes what's left of the dessert and tosses it away... Unfortunately, the thing hits 'Gorilla' Watson in the face, and when the boxer tries to punch Shemp, he ducks and Watson smashes his fist into the brick wall, breaking his hand!

Big Mike and the gang show up and cart our guys off to an empty warehouse where Shemp tells the gang about all the people in his family that will miss him. And when he gets to the smallest child, he knocks the gun out of the hoodlum's hand and the boys scatter!

The chase is on, and after the boys knock one guy out, Larry props him up to fool his pal, but, things fall apart rather quickly!

Larry finds Moe and asks him if he's seen the guy he just bonked on the head?..

Moe and Larry run into a room and lock the door. In order to get to them, the gang uses Shemp as a battering ram to knock the door down, which they do.

While the guys are in the room messing with Moe and Larry, Shemp finds a box of moth balls and dumps them on the floor. When the crooks shuffle out of the room, he conks them in the head with an ax! The cops show up and the boys find out they will get a $5000 reward for the capture of the gang!

During the heat of the moment, one crook fires a shot and hits a red paint can which leaks onto Shemp. Well, he's a goner and Larry and Moe start crying. Moe says, the poor kid, and I still owed him five bucks! Shemp snaps out of it and wants to collect his money!! Well, that's it for today, join us again tomorrow for more Halloween Countdown, here, at The Dungeon!!