TWIN PEAKS: THE RETURN - David Lynch (2017)

"Twin Peaks: The Return!"
I was expecting the unexpected but I wasn't expecting this for various reasons! So, let's get it on, and if you happened to see this show, then please feel free to let me know if you liked it or not, because, I basically thought that for the most part it was a lot of gratuitous artistic bullshit!

Now I love artistic gratuitous bullshit as much as the next guy, but it's said that there is a time and a place for everything. I just think that this was the not the time, or the place to lay it on thicker than chunky peanut butter! My 94 year old Mother sat through the whole ordeal, and I'll just say this, she said it was the worst thing she's ever seen, and I have to agree that watching a couple of episodes of "Walker, Texas Ranger" would probably been a more productive use of time!

I'm pretty sure I'll watch all 18 episodes, and like a lot of it, but for the first two episodes, there are only brief minutes out of two hours that seem even remotely connected to the original series. Look, this an awesomely beautiful shot of New York City, but the interior shots all look like TV soap operas, and the acting is so stiff, it can only be deliberate, and a lot of time there is no music at all which makes it even weirder, so I guess that's what they wanted, but it sure wasn't working for me!

I don't think this should be considered video comfort food by any means!

Transition to new people and stories can be difficult, so it looks like David Lynch just said, "Fuck It, I'll do whatever I want!"  In the new "Twin Peaks" I think there is a lot of meaningless nonsense presented as story that is supposed to make the viewer try and figure out something that was implicated, when there was nothing really there at all, except nonsense! And the dream sequences are like watching somebody having a colonoscopy in real time!

Somehow in 25 years, The Coopster has gone from being the most naive likeable FBI agent on the planet to a "Psycho Killer.....Qu'est-ce que c'est!" So....

What is it?? There's some seriously weird shit going on here!

New characters are added and removed, all in the wink wink of an eye!

 Jeez, Laura Palmer turned into Courtney Love, and even though there's no mention of vampires, she must be one, because what other kind of dead people still get old?

And indeed there are lots of gorgeous women to fill in all those gaps left over from the original show, they just don't have recurring roles in this new series!

"Bang, Bang," David Lynch shot me down, but just like some psycho ex-girlfriend, I'm sure he's going to try and make it up to me! (No flowers David, thanks, just send cash please!)
Anyway, that's just my humble opinion, and also the reason I don't watch a lot of current movies or TV shows!

And why not have a cherry on top ending with synthpop post-punk Portland band Chromatics playing in a Redneck bar, because it makes as much sense as anything else in this Lynch party!

THE CURIOUS DR. HUMPP / Productores Argentinos Asociados - 1969

It's time for Something Weird!!.. Today we gots a movie about a doctor who kidnaps couples who like to have sex. He takes them to his mansion where they are being kept as prisoners and injects them with a substance to enhance their sexual abilities, if you know what I mean. The Curious Dr. Humpp then forces the abducted people to have sex, and while they're making love he drains a fluid from them. He needs this fluid to prevent himself from being transformed into a monster and he gets his instructions from a freakin' talking brain!!

Of course, this is a wild and weird film out of Argentina with a strong Euro influence...

It seems like the people in Argentina are fairly oversexed, couples even enjoy girls stripping for them in public!.. Move over you guys!!

This is such a cool shot of the saxophone player pausing a moment to check out the skin!

Dr. Humpp has a special monitoring system to keep an eye on all the prisoners in his mansion.

Looks like the doc ran out of fluid because this is what he turns into when that happens.

Oh yeah, the cops are baffled by the mystery and spend most of their time looking for clues.

Here's the doctor in a heated discussion with his talking brain in a jar!..

This is the special room where the fluids are drained out of the lovers, complete with the doctor's robo guards making sure everything goes according to plan.

A lot of time in the movie is just spent showing a sea of writhing, horny flesh!

Any questions so far!?..

The doc's assistant strips down this buxom gal, getting her ready to give some of that fluid.

Here's a brain teaser... Can you tell who's body parts go where?

Anyway, the police finally get things figured out, they show up to raid the doctor's mansion. But, they have to blow the heads off the robots to get to the doc.

In the lab, the doctor informs the policeman and his girlfriend, who have been imprisoned by him, about all his weird experiments.

The brain gets fried and the doc gets a back full of knife from the girl!

And, the Curious Dr. Humpp turns into a messed up corpse, bringing our show to a close... Eegah!! will be here again on Wednesday to share more crazy junk with us!..

TWIN PEAKS - A 25 Year Flashback!!

Here's what's on The Dungeon Saturday Night Special Menu this evening, and what with all that is going on today, I call it "Twin Preakness Alacarte!"

I just watched the whole original "Twin Peaks" show over the last couple of months, without even knowing there was going to be a 25 year return show until I was well into it. I have never got excited because there was a new "Star Wars movie coming out, but the thought of  "Twin Peaks" being revisited was something I decided I was really looking forward to, but then I found out it was only on Showtime, so for $13.99 a month, I'm going to get to see it! It better be good, but with David Lynch at the helm, I have no doubt it will be interesting or just down right weird on multiple levels, and it starts tomorrow night at 9:00 PM!

So, in the words of the late great Red Ingle, "Rosin on the bow, and here we go," again!

 

 

 

I haven't delved into whatever the story is, but I do know that by looking at IMDB, that there is a core cast for the entire series that was also from the original series, and that's my focus, because I don't know anything else, except the rest of the new cast is huge, with some cool names, but most all of them are only in one episode, which is also the case with the rest of the original cast members, they are in only one episode! So first up, of course, is Kyle MacLachlan as Agent Dale Cooper

Here's where we left our erstwhile hero some 25 years ago!

 Other cast members that get credit in all 18 episodes of the new series are The whole Palmer family, even though two thirds of them are dead!

Sheryl Lee as Laura Palmer!

Grace Zabriskie as Sarah Palmer!

And Ray Wise as Leland Palmer!

 

 It looks like a lot of the new story will be wrapped around the relationship between Bobby (Dana Ashbrook) and Shelly (Mädchen Amick), and why not, they were some of the younger cast members who survived 25 years ago!

Here are some of the many faces of Mädchen !

 

 

 And here's what you can expect from Dana!

 Everett McGill will be back as Big Ed Hurley in every episode!

 

 

Kimmy Robertson as Lucy Moran will also be back for all 18 episodes!

And last, but by no means least, is Russ Tamblyn as the colourful Dr. Lawrence Jacoby, who will also be in all 18 episodes!

The new series left a lot of amazingly good-lookin' and talented women behind like one of my favourites Peggy Lipton, so it should be interesting to see how David Lynch fills in all those holes!

 Amy Shiels will be filling one of those holes as the only new full time cast member.
Amy will be in 16 of the 18 episodes!

Downright freakin' amazing really!! With 25 years of new technology at his fingertips, it should be quite interesting to see what Mr. Lynch has in store for us all!! Since it's not on regular network TV this go round, it should be a no holds barred affair, so be prepared for anything!!