ABRAXAS, GUARDIAN OF THE UNIVERSE - The Prime Movers - "Strong As I Am" (1990)

Well, everybody's got their lights up and stuff so I guess it's time for a X-Mas movie!

Oh, Shit! I thought it was "AbraXmas" not "AbrAxas!"

It doesn't matter I guess, it's a X-Mas movie either way!

Jesse The Body Ventura is "Abraxas, Guardian Of The Universe!"

Born James George Janos, Jesse Ventura was elected to the post of Mayor in the town of Brooklyn Park, Minnesota shortly before this film was made. A few years later, the former wrassler and colour commentator was elected Governor of the state of Minnesota! He did not choose to seek re-election!

The dangerous and evil  nemesis of Abraxas is Secundus, as played by Sven (Conan The Barbarian, The Running Man, Predator, Pink Cadillac) Ole-Thorsen!

It's the future, and Secundus has come to Earth with Abraxas in hot pursuit! This is how he impregnates a randomly chosen female!

The sun goes down, and the next thing you know is that..........

.........She is now the Mother of a bouncing baby boy!

The Mother is played by Marjorie Bransfield in one of her only 9 film appearances!

At the time this film was made, Marjorie Bransfield and funny guy Jim Belushi were married. In fact, out of her 9 films, 6 of them also had Jim Belushi in them! "Abraxas" is the only movie where Marjorie had the lead, and Jim just had a small bit part! They were only married for two years, and after that, Marjorie pretty much gave up acting except for one TV appearance in 1996!

Zippy The Pinhead's favorite expression is put to good use!

Don't mess with Secundus or you will get the horns!

As you can see by some of the stuff in the background, the movie was happening during the Christmas season!

A lot of the lighting makes "Abraxas" look like one big MTV video!

These two guys are his boss!

Jerry Levitan and Damian Lee as Hite and Dar!

"Abraxas, Guardian Of The Universe" might not be the best movie in the world, but at least the makers had enough sense to have a good bar scene!

Here's what was possibly the prototype to the Smart Watch!

If it played music too, I'm sure it would be something cool like this song from

the great band called The Prime Movers and "Strong As I Am!"

This won't stop Secundus, it only pisses him off more!

Secundus is seeking his boy, and he reeks havoc the whole way!

He takes quite a beating, but in the end,  good reigns supreme over evil and Abraxas prevails!

Hey, nobody ever said that being the Guardian of the Universe was going to be an easy job!
I've had my copy of "Abraxas"  for a number of years now! It was part of a four disc, 14 movie DVD set called "SCI-FI." It was the only movie left in the set I never wrote about, because I never planned on doing movies from the 90's, but we've been doing this for so long now, we're starting to run out of films from the 50's, 60's, and 70's, so Merry X-Mas and welcome to the future!

PATRICK / Filmways Australasian - 1978

Here's a fun little flick from down under that goes like this... After causing the death of his mother and her lover, Patrick lays comatose in a small private hospital, his only action being his involuntary spitting on people. When a pretty young nurse begins work at the hospital, she senses that Patrick is communicating with her, and he seems to be using his psychic powers to manipulate events in her life.

The movie starts with Patrick just laying on his bed, not much going on here on the surface.

He finally gets fed up with his mother and her boyfriend having sex and frolicking, so, goes into the bathroom and tosses his heater into the bathtub, and... Ka-Zappo!!

I have a sound clip for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button located there by our full spittoon, NOW, Rufus The Gnat!.. Here are some sounds from... PATRICK!

Sister Williams welcomes nurse Kathy to the hospital, her assignment is to help take care of the comatose patient, Patrick.

The doctor there likes to experiment on Patrick, he's trying to get Patrick to snap out of his condition. Nothing works, frustrating him.

Then, Kathy brings her doctor pal to the hospital to do some tests concerning Patrick's potential psychic powers. But, Patrick is not cooperating...

Later though, when the night nurse comes change his diaper, we get to see Patrick finally turn his head and he give her an evil glare.

You can hear the nurse scream and the neon light explode at the end of the sound clip.

Sister Williams is on Patrick's hit list, he causes her to fry herself in the electrical room.

Patrick then brings on the pain when the doctor tries to do more experiments on him, invisible forces basically beat the crap out of him!

Patrick is in love with Kathy, you can tell from what he's typing out on the typewriter.

He wants her to choose between him or her separated husband. Once she chooses her husband, Patrick's life force is gone and Patrick is now dead. There's a lot more to the story, so, pick up a copy if you'd like to see all the action.

DER SCHNEEMANN - "Snowman In July" (1944)

Welcome to The Dungeon!

Tonight's short feature is a strange little cartoon out of 1944 Nazi Germany!

It is also known as "The Magic Snowman," "Snowman In July," and "The Snowman," and shouldn't be confused with a movie with the same title released in 1985!

 It's the last month of the year, you know, Jingle Bells, and all that rot!

So, if you want to visit all the ghosts of Christmas past, then I suggest you go on over to

Xmas Flix!

That's where I found this weird little jewel, and they've got a host of other videos, all about the holidays in some form or another!

 He's just a regular snowman, minding his own business!

 When snowflakes form a heart shape on his chest, the snowman comes to life!

And just like any creature that has just come to life would act, the first thing he does is start juggling!

 

 The snowman was just chillin' when reality hits hard, and a mean dog takes a big bite out of his ass!

Ice skating is a nice relaxing thing to do!

 But then the ice breaks, and the snowman is dumped into a pool of muck!

 It's starting to get a bit creepy as the snowman melts away, but he rolls down the hill, and the snow forms back on him, and he regains his original shape!

 The poor snowman is tired after a busy day, and this rabbit has got his eye on that carrot nose!

 The snowman finds an unoccupied cabin, and whiles he's perving over the seasons of the year, he gets an idea!

 He climbs into an empty icebox, and decides he'll wait until July to see what it looks like in person!

 The months pass by, and the weather outside has changed when he ventures back out! And lo and behold, it looks just like the picture!

 The snowman is in seventh heaven! He's never experienced weather like this before! Obviously, he doesn't have any allergies!

 Well, it was bound to happen, the snowman starts melting!

 He melts down to nothing!

And the carrot now belongs to the bunny rabbit!

You tell me! The implications are varied!!

Here's the music from the end! 

It's just as weird as the rest of it!