DICK SMART 2007 - Mario Nascimbene - "Atomic Dick" (1967)

Yeah, it's exactly what you would think! Welcome to stage three of Super Spy Saturday Night down in The Dungeon! I find it quite novel that all three of the movies had one major thing in common! They all had Seven in the title, you know like 007, but just not quite! 077, Upperseven, and now 2.007, Uum, Very Interesting!

So just exactly what is it that makes Dick Smart! What the Hell did you expect with a title like that? The original title was "Dick Smart 2007," but some smart dick changed it to "Dick Smart 2.007" for some reason!

It appears that some upper echelon government official got a bad batch of viagra and he's out for revenge!

Dick Smart is about fashion! I love these shoes!

Dick Smart is about super cool music composed by the Maestro Mario (Vacation With A Gangster) Nascimbene! Mario, of course, will long be remembered as being the inventor of the 'Mixerama,' the predecessor to the sampler! I'm pretty sure that's what you'll hear in the short sound clip, because there's sure something weird going on!

Richard (The Strange Door) Wyler is Dick Smart, one suave dude! His job is secondary to all his other flirtatious ambitions! He gets a million dollars a job, so he has to work extra hard!

Dick's sidekick, pain in the ass secretary Jeanine Stafford is played by Rosana (Kiss The Girls and Make Them Die) Tapajós! Dick would be limp without her!

Dick Smart is about fancy top of the line high tech equipment and gadgetry like this! You better be damn certain you know what you're doing when you push that button!

Dick Smart is about being in Rio De Janeiro, and Dick Smart ain't no dummy!

The marvelous Margaret Lee is Dick Smart's foil, Lady Lister! Margaret has a great roster of films to her credit starting with "Colossus Of The Stone Age" in 1962, and continuing  with "Secret Agent Super Dragon," "Psycho-Circus," "How To Kill 400 Duponts," and "Venus In Furs" etc.

Not only does Lady Lister have to deal with Dick Smart because she has a nuclear coal to diamonds scheme, she also has to deal with the most evil McDiamond on the other side!

When tying her to the front of his boat doesn't work, McDiamond decides to throw Lady Lister overboard connected to a rather big weight!

Dick Smart to the rescue in his Vespa Alpha Gyro-Copter motorcycle submarine! Now this, dear friends is a very cool vehicle! Land, sea, or air, the Vespa Alpha does it all!!

Oh Jeez, this time they decided to torture Lady Lister by putting a glass dome on her head and tapping it with a hammer to beat her into submission with sonic overload!

In one kraazy scene, Jeanine shoots and kills Dick Smart, but the movie's not over, so you know they're going to revive him some way, and they do!

In the Hokey Pokey department, the theme of beautiful women with automatic weapons is still popular to this day, and that's what it's all about!

For a cheap ass, I mean low budget, film Lady Lister's Coal to Diamonds lab is pretty sophisticated!

Is this a great place to leave it or not? So that's it, "777!" If I was you, I would head on out to your favorite casino ASAP, because with the current position of the moon and stars, the odds are in your favor!!! Just like this movie, if you win, remember where you heard it, and if you lose, don't blame it on me!

EL ASESINO ENMASCARADO / Producciones Sotomayor - 1962

Welp, time to head back to Mexico with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. Our story is from the popular Mexican series, EL REY DE LA PISTOLA, where lawlessness rules in a forsaken part of the land, and, plagued by a mysterious Masked Assassin!

Eegah!! sent over a soundclip of the excellent theme from this flick for our earjoyment, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button there by the loaded atomic pistol, NOW, Rufus The Gnat! Here's an earfull of... EL ASESINO ENMASCARADO!

A lot of the action takes place in the local cantina. The very talented Miguel Aceves Mejía plays Comisario Miguel, who's in charge of keeping peace and occasionally belting out a classic tune!

The stage coach drivers check out these scarecrow decoys when the Masked Assassin rides up and makes off with all the traveler's money and jewelry, plus the loot in the strongbox!

I like this still, the little cantina helper's always flirting with the lovely ladies!

This just wouldn't be a Mexican movie if there weren't a few featured songs...

You win some money playing poker at the cantina and get a knife in the back (with a note) on the way back to your place!

In a clever attempt to try and expose the Masked Assassin and his accomplices, the Comisario fakes his death and his friend takes over his position of authority.

Things start going afoul for the greedy gang, and, we finally get to see who the assassin is. The great Joaquín Cordero plays the scar faced Masked Assassin, Joaquín had 205 acting credits, he was DR. SATAN and starred in numerous other Mexican monster movies. He just recently died in Mexico at age 89.

At the end, Comisario Miguel shows up to battle the assassin in one last gunfight, and, is shot a number of times before...

Our little friend, tired of being abused by his evil boss, steers the stagecoach into him, spearing him right through his spine!

GOONLAND - Sammy Tinberg - Lou Fleischer - "Goon Squad" (1938)

Not only is "Goonland" one of my favourite Popeye cartoons, it's one of my favourite cartoons period!

I will never ever get over the fact that they were able to create cartoons this amazing and there's only credits for four guys! Today with computers and all the extra gizmos at their disposal, it still takes a minimum of 100 people!

Popeye is off at sea merrily, merrily sailing around with no attachments and no real problems! He's on the way to try and locate his lost Pappy!

Next stop, "Goon Island" where it's all work, and no play, and humans aren't welcome!

It's at this point that the insidiously twisted Goon theme song kicks in, and if you get this sucker stuck in your head, you might just turn into a goon yourself! Popeye's muttering to himself the whole time is hilarious! The only song worse than this to get stuck in your head is Glen Armstrong's "When The Lion Lies Down With The Lamborghini!" The music was created by Lou Fleischer and Sammy Timberg who between the two of them have something like 543 credits! What a bunch of slackers!

In an an attempt to blend in, Popeye elongates his face to look like one of the goons!

Pappy is being held captive and whiles away the hours by playing checkers with himself! He doesn't really want to be rescued, because he doesn't like people anyway! Jack Mercer does the voices for both Popeye and Pappy!!

Popeye gets captured by the goons, and looks like a goner for sure!

During the tussle with the goons, Popeye's can of spinach gets dislodged and rolls over toward Pappy's cell! If he can just gets his hands on it, he might be able to save his baby boy! I love the details on Goon Island like the trim around that doorway!

The goons are pretty upset with Popeye, so they're going to drop a ginormous boulder on him!

Pappy gets the spinach just in time to rescue Popeye, but the goons are not amused!

 

After 40 years of not seeing each other, could this possibly be the end? Oh, Hell no!

Just in the nick of time, the film breaks, leaving Popeye and Pappy dangling precariously!

 

The film editor has to piece it back together again!

The show must go on, so he clips it together with a safety pin!

Just like a buttload of other cool stuff, "Goonland" can be downloaded for free over at the always amazing Internet Archive, and that's an order!!