Wednesday, May 4, 2011

BEWARE! THE BLOB - Mort Garson/Randy Stonehill - "Son Of The Blob" (1972)

It's not often you get a chance to do back to back blobs, but tonight just happens to be one of those times, now the only thing is I wish they were good blobs, but oh, well, you can't have your blob and eat it too! So, for a couple of days, this is the "Official Blob Blog," unless of course Deb over at the WFMU Ichiban blog gets the same notion, so without further adieu, and as The Routers would say, "Let's Go" with "Beware! The Blob!"

So just what the Hell do we got going on here anyway? Godfrey Cambridge as Chester Hargis has just returned from the frozen wastelands and brought home with him a sealed container he found, and his stupid wife has taken it out of the freezer and set it on the kitchen counter. Guess what? The Blob's inside! That's it, might as well, go to The End, because that's the story..........

.......But there are a few details I neglected to mention! Chester's cat and his wife and himself have all paid the ultimate price for stupidity, and without a doubt, the Price ain't Right! They've also unleashed The Blob again! The beginning is really cool, with Chester watching TV, and Ed McMahon doing his "Daughter Of Horror"("Dementia") narration from the film that was on the movie screen during the theatre scene in the original "Blob," before he gets it himself! Executive producer and co-writer Jack Harris was also the producer of the original 1958 classic "The Blob!" I think it's kind of an homage to himself, in a blatant attempt to create another cult classic! It should come as no surprise that Jack Harris had bought the rights to "Dementia" also!

This couple are the main two characters that the story revolves around, Robert Walker as Bobby Hartford, and Gwynne Gilford as Lisa Clark! Robert Walker was "Ensign Pulver" in the 1964 movie "Ensign Pulver," he was in "Easy Rider," and in 1974 he had the role of Edgar Allen Poe in the "The Spectre Of Edgar Allen Poe!" Gwynne was in "Fade To Black" and "Masters Of The Universe!" They both also did a ton of TV shows over the years!

The abundance of talent in "Beware! The Blob" is beyond amazing, and a veritable Who's Who of 70's Pop Culture but, for all right wing nuts and porpoises, es macht nichts! Where else to start than with Tiger Joe Marsh? Tiger Joe was the World Heavyweight Wrasslin' Champ in 1937, and was the model for the iconic Mr. Clean! Shall I stop there, do you want to submit already?

Too bad, no quitters allowed! That's Dick(108 episodes of "Eight Is Enough")Patten there as the scoutmaster holding the toilet paper roll! Do you really need to know why? Dick's still working today!

This is the amazing comedian and actor Shelley Berman as the annoying hair stylist! Shelley was also the stoned hep cat leaning up against the wall in "Dementia!" Is it all starting to make sense now? Shelley is also still working today!

Even Bono is here in his first ever performance, no, actually it's Del Close as the one-eyed bum! Del Close was one of the original Merry Pranksters, and a big proponent of improvisation, which brings me to another subject, improv! There are many scenes in "Beware! The Blob" where it is pretty obvious the director just said roll camera, and the actors did what people do, just ad lib! Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, that's just the nature of that nasty little beast!

And when you've got actors like Burgess Meredith on board, why bother wasting a script on them? If for nothing else, Burgess Meredith will always be held in adoration for his 21 episodes of "Batman" as The Penguin!

I'm bound to leave out somebody, but it won't be Carol ("Blue Denim"-"Hound Dog Man"-"Pleasure Seekers") Lynley or Larry (The Father of Christian Rock Music) Norman! Carol is still around today, but Larry isn't!

The guy in the ape suit was Gerrit Graham in only his third role! Gerrit was also Beef in "Phantom Of The Paradise," Freddie in "Tunnel Vision," and Stanley Putterman in "Terrorvision" just to name a few!

I'll stop here with none other than Cindy ("Laverne and Shirley") Williams and Randy Stonehill, another Christian Rocker, who can be heard performing "Captain Coke" as Cindy tokes away! They're in a drainage tunnel because the acoustics sound groovy in there! Everything in this movie is bassackwards, the stoners are all straightedge, no wonder it's not right!

The cops end up getting it!

The kids almost get it, but miraculously escape!!

The smart-ass guy in the monkey suit gets it!!

And even the manager of the bowling alley gets it before it's over!

The main theme for "Beware! The Blob" was written by Mort Garson, who in 1963 penned the #1 hit for Ruby and the Romantics, "Our Day Will Come!" As you will hear, Mort was also a moog synthesizer freak and released one of the strangest LP's of 1967 entitled "The Zodiac: Cosmic Sounds-Celestial Counterpoint with Words and Music." I'm pretty sure I still have a copy somewhere!

Many of The Blob scenes are shot from the POV of The Blob itself, and The Blob doesn't even have any eyes, so how is that supposed to work?

Last but not least, the Sheriff was played by Richard Webb! Richard knows a lot about authority, because he was Captain Midnight in 39 Episodes of "Captain Midnight," and he was also Deputy Chief Don Jagger in 29 episodes of "Border Patrol!"

"Beware! The Blob" was directed by that oh so famous "Dallas" maverick, none other that J.R. himself, Larry Hagman! If it looks like TV, and it smells like TV, maybe it should have been a TV sit-com, then it might have made more sense! Never a quitter, Jack Harris would indeed bring back "The Blob" in 1988!!!

Monday, May 2, 2011

SANTO CONTRA LOS ASESINOS DE OTROS MUNDOS / Filmadora Chapultepec - 1973

Welcome everbloody to Monster Monday with Tabonga, here at The Dungeon!.. Tonite, we gots a rare flick that pits Santo against assassins from space and their pet... BLOB!!! Did you know, Santo even had to fight off a deadly mass of clammy flesh from another world in one of his adventures? See, you can always learn something new around this joint.

Here's a cool Mexican lobby card showing what happens when the Blob rolls over you... Looks like her dress was gently dry cleaned in the flesh removing process, weird.

"Hijole!!!"

The music is always great in any Santo flick! Making his musical debut here at The Dungeon is Chucho Zarzosa, who had a total of 17 composing credits between 1960-88, which includes work on ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE.

It's that time!.. Time for our littlest of all Dungeon helpers to join us, yes, it's... Rufus The Gnat!! Hooray for Rufus!.. He's pressing the big red 'GO' button over there, so's you may listen to our Eariffic Earclip. Here's!.. SANTO CONTRA LOS ASESINOS DE OTROS MUNDOS!

The space aliens send out their Blob to target certain people for defleshing. Good news, the dude sleeps with a gun, so, it's handy for being woke up in the middle of the night by intruders... The bad news, bullets tickle Blobs!

The Blob goes after the ham bone! You know, it's connected to the BBQ ribs and the head cheese...

That's right, lady... You're next!!

Some of the best monster make up seen in Mexican movies, reminiscent of British classics like THE QUATERMASS XPERIMENT, X- THE UNKNOWN and ISLAND OF TERROR!

Santo tries to intercept the import of ingredients needed to make the Blobs.

After being run down, Santo wakes up in a dark arena with the leader of the aliens, who has taken over his friend's body, directing his mighty warriors to fight and destroy him!

But, tricky Santo gets a hold of one of their machine guns and evens the score, big time!

Now free of the evil alien's control, Santo's friend spills the beans on the alien secrets! Santo takes it all in...

I swear, this looks like an ice cream machine in a dream I had, but, no... Baby Blob Maker.

It's kinda silly to watch Santo scamper around, trying to keep his distance from the goofy, slow moving thing. This Blob is one of the very worst embarrasements in cinema history, the guys inside have a lot of problems just trying to move it around, and, it doesn't really roll. To see it try and get on a bed is nothing less than hilarious!

Santo looks good flying a cargo plane or piloting his Mustang!

I think Santo's been through here!

Poor little henchmen, if it isn't Santo, it's the Blob!! Have a nice day!

Mexico has some awesome natural locations, wow! Filmed in and around Mexico City.

Blobbie!.. That you?!.. C'mon, here boy!

Santo kicks it so hard, it farts out some of it's noxious, stinky methane...

Then, he tosses a lit match on it, and, voilà!

Everything's okay, folks, he lives through the ordeal... "What, you call this living?!.. Go to Hell!!"

Ghoulnight Everbloody!!..

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??