COLOMBO - "Fade In To Murder" (1976)

 Tonight we've got a Saturday Night Special that truly lives up to it's name, a very special episode of the TV series "Colombo!"

 They decided to start Season Six off in 1976 with a bang, and that's just what they did!

This episode was titled "Fade In To Murder," and was a story about a very popular TV detective, who was also a conniving and ruthless murderer in real life!

The TV detective is played by none other than The Shat himself in one of his many memorable roles. His name is Ward Fowler and on TV, he's known as Detective Lucerne.

 This might be Peter Falk's show, but William Shatner owns this episode! Ward Fowler is unhappy with his domineering Producer Clare, and he's about ready to do something about it! Clare Daley is played by lovely Lola (The Monolith Monsters) Albright. Lola Albright was also a singer and played Peter Gunn's girlfriend, torch singer Edie Hart in 84 episodes of "Peter Gunn."

 Any William Shatner fan will enjoy this show I guarantee!

 As Ward Fowler, he sneaks into one of the prop rooms to borrow a gun to use as a murder weapon.

 It's just mesmerizing to watch Bill do his thing!

 He also stole some clothes from the costume department!

Now, it's just starting to get good. Next up is "The World's Greatest Sinner" himself, Timothy Carey as the coffee shop owner named Tony.

 Ward Fowler's got it all figured out!

 The dirty bastard shoots Clare right in the back, and kills her!

 There's a cool picture hanging on the wall in Tony's place of Ward, Tony, and Clare in happier times.

 During the investigation, the bumbling Colombo stumbles onto the set of the TV shoot.

 As it turns out, Colombo is a big fan of Detective Lucerne, and has seen every episode of the show!

 Because of that fact, Colombo is thrilled to have Detective Lucerne help him on this case!

 Ward Fowler just keeps on working it, and getting everything set just perfect!

 Colombo has to go to Universal Studios to ask some questions.

 It's like some kind of magical train wreck to watch Bill Shatner work the room!

 He's leading Colombo around by the nose, and then it happens!

 He gets caught!

And as it turns out, the buffoon Colombo is the genius, and Lucerne is just a fictional character played by a mediocre actor! What a great show, and why not? It was directed by Dungeon legend, Bernie Kowalski.
Big shout out to Lord Litter in Berlin for pointing this one out to me!!

THE BEATNIKS - Paul Frees - "Crazy, Huh?" (1960)

Well, it's time for "Beat Week Down In The D With Eegah!!" And to get us going is tonight's feature presentation, "The Beatniks!" Now I really wish I would stop renting movies from Netflix to only later find out I could have downloaded them for free at The Internet Archive, but oh, well, better late than never as they say! At least it makes life easier for all you crazy cats and kittens out there "living by the code of Rebellion and Mutiny!"

Now I like this movie, but I do have one ax to grind, and that is with the title! By my standards, the people in this movie are not beatniks, but just a bunch of punk 1950's thugs! I mean like, you'd never find Maynard G. Krebs acting like this, and there's no coffee, no acoustic guitars and no dripping candles or beat poetry either!

"The Beatniks" was pop culture genius Paul Frees only attempt at writing and directing a movie! We've gone this route before, but I'll tell you again, that life would not exist today as we know it without the work of Paul Frees! Now most of Paul's work was as a voiceover artiste, but the scope of his work spreads far and near! There's no place to start or end so I'll just hit some of the high spots! In the cartoon world, Paul Frees was the voice of Bozo The Clown, Ignatz Mouse, Barney Google, Boris Badenov, Captain Peachfuzz, Barney Bear, and Wally Walrus! In the 1960's Beatles' cartoons, he was the voice of John Lennon and George Harrison! He was the the voice of Francis the Talking Mule in "Francis In The Haunted House," and he was the voice of The President in "When Worlds Collide," the voice of the second radio reporter in "War Of The Worlds," the voice of the Alien in "Earth Vs. The Flying Saucers," the voice of the Police Chief in "Rodan", the narrator in "The Monolith Monsters," he overdubbed several voices in "The H-Man," he was the narrator in "The World's Greatest Sinner," and he dubbed several voices in this movie, and that's only up to 1962! Paul worked until 1987!!!!

This shot is nothing more than a shout out to our pal Charlie!

This gang of "Beatniks" is so uncool, they keep robbing the same little Mom and Pop store over and over!

Personally I make a point of avoiding people who talk to you with their head cricked over to one side like this! I find it terribly disturbing and annoying! This is Peter (THE CRAWLING HAND) Breck as gang member Mooney!

The leader of this gang of "Beatniks" is Tony Travis as Eddy Crane! Where's the shades, the goatee, and/or the Beret? Even though he was the star of this film, Tony's a difficult guy to find out much information about!

Eddy belts out a little number called something like "Sideburns Don't Need Your Sympathy" to his girl Karen (IT CONQUERED THE WORLD) Kadler as Iris!  Charles (THE THIRTEENTH HOUR) Delaney as Talent Scout Bayliss catches Eddy's karaoke routine and thinks he just might have some talent worth cashing in on! The songs in "The Beatniks" are all written by Paul Frees, and I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if he is actually the one singing them! Another one of Paul's credits was he sung "The Darktown Strutters' Ball" in "The Abominable Dr. Phibes!"

So here's the whole gang: Peter (112 Episodes of The Big Valley) Breck as the crazed Mooney, Karen (13 Demon Street) Kadler  as Iris, Tony (Jamboree!) Travis as Eddy Crane, Sam (Between Heaven And Hell) Edwards as Red, and Bob (The Obligatory Decapitation Finale) Wells as Chuck!

Eddy goes on Channel 5's popular TV show, "Rocket To Stardom" in L.A. and the kids really go crazy for his schmaltzy style! Next thing you know, it's record contract city!!

But Mooney and Iris and the rest of the guys ain't taking it that swell. They think Eddy's going to bug out on them!

I just happen to like this transition shot from inside and outside of the Hollywood Inn where the gang is living it, and tearing it up, all at Eddy's expense!!

Even though Eddy was perfectly content to just sit in the hotel room and drink a couple of beers, the gang guilt trips Eddy into going out with them and raising some Hell just like the good old days, and Mooney's big mouth gets them in a lot of trouble with the Charlie the local barkeep!

First Mooney sucker punches Charlie with a liquor bottle............

.............then he ends up murdering the poor bastard!!! So much for Eddy's career! Moral of the story? Don't have asshole friends!!

Eddy had fallen for Bayliss's dollface secretary Joyce (The Neanderthal Man) Terry, and tries to tell her that he's just no good, and that their hope for a relationship and a normal life was a rocket to oblivion from the start!

Back in the hotel room, it's all doom and gloom, Iris is starting to get the idea that Eddy doesn't dig her that much anymore, Red got shot by that barkeeper, Eddy doesn't know Mooney killed the guy, and he's scheduled to cut a record the next day!! What a mess!! Wow, just look how far that boom mike is hanging down into the scene!

In the studio everybody's buzzed about how popular Eddy is going to be since they have no clue what deep shit Mooney has gotten Eddy into! The photo on the right shows "Love Is A Thief" being cut directly onto acetate!

While the recording session is going on, Bayliss volunteers to go back to the hotel room to try and talk some sense into Eddy's friends, but instead ends up getting shanked by Mooney!

After that little incident, Mooney flips out completely, and goes on the lam to nowheresville!

Eddy is pretty dense, but he finally sees the light, and tracks Mooney down where they have the final rumble! Eddy kicks Mooney's worthless ass and then gets hauled off by the cops! Life just ain't fair!

THE WORLD'S GREATEST SINNER Part 2 - God Hilliard - "Take My Hand Again" (1962)

What better to follow up Felix with than another completely wild cat, Timothy Carey, and Part 2 of "The World's Greatest Sinner." Now it's time for things to change!

As uplifting as part one of "The World's Greatest Sinner" was, and you can read it right "here", that's how far "The World's Greatest Sinner" Part 2 takes Clarence God Hilliard down!

This WTF!? Wednesday feature goes out to Double D at WFMU, without a doubt, the best radio station in the world!! When you ain't got nothing else to do, then why not listen to WFMU?

Well, Clarence really screwed up when he told all his Followers that they were Gods, and Super Human Beings, the next thing you know, there's a riot going on!! This movie preceded the Watts Riots in L.A. by three years!!

God has a serpent and Carolina Samario too!

The God riots go on, the kids think "We're Gods," but people who haven't read God's doctrine or seen God's act, think they're "nothing but a bunch of idiots, that's all!"

As well meaning as his original intentions were, God Hilliard has his flaws, and like all great musicians, he has dues to pay!!!

Clarence, I mean God, starts to show his mean streak!

Depression, Elation, Death, Destruction! Everything is starting to spiral out of control!

Here, he is folks, God Hilliard.......

....and even though he doesn't know it, Clarence Hilliard has literally sold his soul for rock and roll!!

God Clarence is pretty much a one-hit-wonder, and if you check the charts, you will see that the one-hit-wonder competition was pretty tough in 1962! Check it out! Just to name a few, there's Arthur Alexander (Who I really hate to call a one-hit-wonder because his version of "Anna" is better than The Beatles) - "You Better Move On," Joe Meek's The Tornadoes with "Telstar," Billy Joe and the Checkmates - "Percolator," The Contours - "Do You Love Me," Claudine Clark - "Party Lights" ("I see the lights, I see the party lights, they're red, blue, and green"), Don and Juan - "What's Your Name" and Ernie Maresca - "Shout! Shout!(Knock Yourself Out!)" Songs so powerful, and played so many times in repetition on KAFY AM radio, that I still remember all the words to this day!! AAaaahhhh!!!

The Devil has a place for God Hilliard, and the real God is more than willing to work with Satan on this particular issue!

Heed my warning, all you followers take shelter while there is still time!! Nobody else is paying attention!! Go!!

With all the stupid crap going on in the world, it's a damn shame that somebody can't get do something good for humanity, and get this film released, so it could be seen by all the good people who deserve to see it!!!

Timothy Carey as God Hilliard does rule the universe, doesn't he?

The hall that leads to The End!

To make a point, the very last sequence of events is in colour!! Timothy Carey might be gone, but like God Hilliard, his genius will remain forever, and now that I think about it, Timothy Carey really is a God! His vision came true!!