Monday, July 4, 2022

METALOCALYPSE: DETH KLOK / "Dethdoubles" - 2007

Today is not just The 4th Of July here at the Dungeon, this is our post No. 3501, and we have over 5 million hits, not too bad for some old monsters kids. And, this post will have some kick ass fireworks for our enjoyment...

So, Deth Klok is at an event for Duncan Hills Coffee and a giant crowd has amassed on the street by rabid fans of the band, because, you know, they're the most popular band in the world.

The fans are waving and shouting at them, but mostly they are just staring while the boys drink coffee and eat cinnamon rolls. After awhile though, it starts getting on their nerves, and they pick people (nerds) out of the crowd and one will say... Hey, look at that guy, what do you think about him, and they all respond... Douche Bag! That's their total responses, douche bag!

After minutes of fan bashing, Murderface pulls out his custom sawed-off shotgun, thinking it would intimidate the people and they'd leave. But, he has icing from the cinnamon rolls on his face, shirt and hands. The gun slips out of his hands and hits the ground, and a round goes off...

The Deth Klok security team is there immediately after they hear the shot, and assume that it was someone  in the crowd that fires the shot!

Needless to say, this was a public relations disaster.

So, their manager hires some body doubles for the boys, they're kinda repulsed by the idea at first, each ending up becoming best friends with their double. Thing is, they had previously mentioned to each other that none of them were actual friends, so! The manager hired the doubles to do public events in their place and preventing them from facing any danger.

But as it turns out, the doubles work for The Council and they have a brilliant plan. They have already infiltrated their target, so, next step...

Okay, here we go... Deth Klok's next gig is to play a concert while 50,000 cups of coffee are being brewed at the bottom of a volcano in a hot pool!!! The doubles will then sky lift  from The Dethcopter over to Durcell's Blimp and steal the case containing his portfolios. Durcell is the owner of Duncan Hills Coffee, which this event is for, a cup of coffee for every attendee.

This is their reason for wanting those portfolios.

The boys and their doubles just hang out and enjoy themselves.

There are a series of events going on in one day, all the doubles are each doing their own event, one shows 'Murderface' punching some guy out!

The boys are all excited, watching the events on TV, and even call their pals so they can rap about all the cool things that happened.

It's time for the big event to take place, thousands of people make the trek to the volcano rim.

The Deth Klok concert is now up and running, the crowd is screaming.

The doubles swoop in and board Dulcell's blimp, they grab the case of portfolios and drop down a rope to the ground.

The coffee's brewing away, until...

Hot lava breaks through and the volcano erupts. That's Deth Klok's stage above the hot lava.

The lava coffee overflows onto the rim where everyone is watching, and they get toasted!

Now on the ground, the doubles get a dose of the burning Hell.

Of course the boys are perfectly fine, and visit their doubles in the hospital.

The boys take them all out for lunch, and have something to tell them...

Murderface explains it in simple terms, you guys don't look like us anymore, so, there's only one thing to do... He pulls out his shotgun and it slips out of his hands again, going off in the doubles' direction. Hopin' you're having a decent 4th.

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